Which would you want for your kid?

[Kilmer17]

My son will turn 4 this September. The state cut-off date for enrollment in pre-K is Sept 1. He'll miss it by a few days, but there is a way to petition for early enrollment within a month.

So Im torn.

On one hand, I know he's ready for Pre-K academically (as far as that can go at his age), but maybe not emotionally. And once he's there, he would start Kindergarten next year.

So the question is this-

Would you want your child to be the oldest in his class, or the youngest?

Being the oldest has it's advantages. Sports, maturity etc all favor the older kid.

But, it's much easier to hold a child back than it is to accelerate them. SO if we make him the oldest and he's far and away ahead of the rest of his peers, it would be difficult to move him up a grade, but easier to hold him back if we make him the youngest and realize that he needs an extra year.

Thoughts?

[Grizz]

Definately hold him back. Way more advantages to having them be the oldest.
Boys tend to take a little longer to mature, so giving them an extra yr. will be helpful

[Leonard Washington]

i was always one of the youngest in my classes and it didn't bother me in sports or anything. matter of fact i loved to tease those who started school late b/c their bday.

it really doesn't make a difference.

[Kilmer17]

I should also add that keeping him out of PreK this year will mean I have to pay for his dayschooling.

So add 10k to that equation

[codeorama]

Definately the oldest.
My brother started my nephew early last year, but after one year of KG, he decided to go ahead and hold him back now. He didn't have problems in school per se, but his test scores were average.
The main motivation was sports, I"m not going to lie. He's VERY gifted at sports and my brother graduated at 17 and maturity was a huge issue. Had my brother gone to HS one more year, he would have easily been a first round draft pick rather than a 5th rounder (a difference between a 6 figure signing bonus and a seven figure bonus) and would have been better in the class room.
My brother didn't want my nephew to go through the same problems.

[CatsFan]

Originally posted by Grizz
Definately hold him back. Way more advantages to having them be the oldest.
Boys tend to take a little longer to mature, so giving them an extra yr. will be helpful That's exactly what I would say too. I have girls and they are 'older' for their grades but I volunteer alot in their classes and have seen the disadvantages the 'younger' kids have, both emotionally and maturity wise. I'd wait.

[SkinsHokieFan]

My parents sent me to KG in 1986, I was the youngest in the class, and they quickly realized I simply did not have the maturity to handle it yet.

So they held me back, and I repeated KG and it helped me immensely in my development. Even though I was teased for a few years for "failing" KG.

However other friends of mine who are much younger (9 months to a year) did just fine being in the same grade as I was.

So it does definitley depend on the kid. My personal expierence says you hold him back a year

[bcl05]

There's no definitely anything here. Start him when he's ready. Simple as that. If you think he's ready, send him in. If he's a genius, send him to school, why hold his development and learning back? If he's a bit on the slow/late side developmentally, waiting may be in his best interest. If he's a future cowboy fan, no school will help...

[rdsknbill]

I had a similar situation. My youngest went into Kindergarden right after her fifth b-day (Mid Aug) last year. She seemed to struggle a bit and after speaking to her teacher we have decided to enroll her into a program that they have up here called "pre-first" It is kind of like Kindergarden and a half, if you will.

There are other pupils in her class whose parents are doing the same thing.

Personally I think that it is wiser to do it at this age than to let it go until it's harder to catch up in the later years of school :2cents:

[dks1240]

i was always the youngest and i turned out fine! (well atleast i think i turned out fine). a few of my friends didnt start school till a year behind me and although it may have been best for them when they were very young, it was obviously frustrating for them as they were older. they always had that mentatility "i could be one more year closer to finishing school but..."

i think in the long run, it really doesnt matter that much. it's all a matter of if your child can handle the first year or two of school without falling behind, past that, it's all the same.

[dks1240]

***one downfall for being the youngest is when its time for everyone to turn 21, you are the very very very last one. and you are left home alone on the weekends while all of your friends are out at bars :(


(if you want to think that far ahead) :D

[JMac]

You gotta hold em back so when he is in high school, he is the stud athlete. Remember, we need a scholorship!!

[China]

Kilmer, my son was in a similar situation. He missed the cutoff for kindergarten by 3 weeks. We elected not to petition and to let him go in the following year (which will be this fall). I still think it was the right decision. There is no point in rushing things. When I was a kid I was among the top of my class in fifth and the beginning of sixth grade. They skipped me (and a couple others) from sixth to seventh grades. I could handle the work, but my grades were only one aspect, I was a year behind in social development and it made a difference. It may not be as big an issue at your son's age, but it is something to consider.

[Sknzfan]

This is a GREAT Question and one that I'e dealt with in BOTH Aspect's....to ME it depend's on YOUR Child.
I was VERY Small for my Age...I went in when I was suppose too...( back when the Dinosaur's roamed the Planet :laugh: ) I was kept back in the Fourth grade...I ALWAY'S thought it was because I had gotten a " C " on one of my report card's. We YEARS Later I find out I was kept back because of my HEIGHT !!! I was the Fastest Person in the WHOLE Fourth grade the First time...and REALLY the Fastest after that.....I knew my Body better than the older Dorky, Gangly kid's and felt/feel being Small is an ADVANTAGE...that being said ...I am a BIT Cocky :laugh: Despite my size then and Now....5' 10"....
I was more Bothered by being KEPT back.....I think thatn it would have been to leave me where I was....my Grade's were ALWAYS Avg. anyway.....
Now, 40 year's later I have a Child (Goyl) an she's JUST like me...Tiny....but Goyl's can get away with this Better than Guy's.....The Whiff wanted to keep her back a year so she could go to School with another year of Preschool under her belt......( She's ALWAY'S the Pessimist ) Well I won...and my Daughter has done well.....not Excelled mind you but hold's her own and ALREADY beat's the Boy's in Track...all but one anyway.....( VERY PROUD )
I would Really feel bad if she had been kept back while her friend's ( Small County/Town ) pass her by because she's not in the same classes Activities as they are....but I don't have to worry about this because I put her in School when it was her time. Now, Another thing she is MORE like me than the Whiff...she doesn't back down has a Strong personality and can hold her own...all this said....is your Son a STRONG Willed Independent little man ?
That to me is Where the decision lies....
Try to make it best for him...
I would send him on his Journey through School.....with His Friend's !

[stevenaa]

It depends on the child. I didn't put my oldest in pre-school because she didn't need it. She would have been bored. My youngest went through pre-school. She wasn't as interested in learning as the oldest and we felt she could use the extra preperation. It worked great in both cases. Today, they both lead their classes in behavior and grades.

[SkinsNut73]

My middle child ended up being the youngest (and smallest) kid in her class. She was actually starting kindergarten at 4 yrs of age - she would turn 5 shortly after the school year began. She had always loved learning...my wife and I thought she is going to be the best student out of our 3 kids. Well, she struggled in her first few months....she was behind physically and academically. She was beginning to shutdown and just hated going to school. After meeting with her teachers/school administrators we decided to pull her out of school and have her start over the next year.

It was the best decision we ever made. When she returned, like SkinsHokieFan, she had to deal with some of her old classmates teasing her because she "failed kindergarten", but she immediately began to love school again. That was 3 years ago...in each of the last 3 years her teachers have given her the "Student of the Year" award, and she has straight A's on every report card. She's right where she should be....

Worked well for us keeping her back.

[TXREDSKINS44]

I was the oldest in my class and it did not make a difference.

[twa]

My birthday was two days late,so I was always the oldest. I coped by hanging around the next years class but it never felt right.

If your kid can handle school with a early start I would go ahead and start him.

[Predicto]

We went through this exact thing and decided, all things being equal, oldest is better than youngest. Nothing wrong with being one of the most ready in the class when you start. The kids who start out achievers tend to stay the achievers throughout. Nothing succeeds like success. On the other hand, the kids who start out struggling tend to develop a bad attitude about school, and lowered expectations for themselves.

Sure, if your kid turns out to be a genius, they might have a problem with boredom. But that's gonna happen anyway, even if they are young for the class.

[Cdowwe]

Oldest especially if he (if its a boy) will play sports

[Kilmer17]

Originally posted by Cdowwe
Oldest especially if he (if its a boy) will play sports

I dont think he has the option to NOT play sports.

[codeorama]

Originally posted by Kilmer17


I dont think he has the option to NOT play sports.

Well said...:cheers: :cheers:


:laugh:

[Thiebear]

Originally posted by Kilmer17
I should also add that keeping him out of PreK this year will mean I have to pay for his dayschooling.

So add 10k to that equation

:) soooo let us know if you go against the 10k.. I'll be shocked :)

[codeorama]

Kilmer, you are forgetting the obvious, to save money, start him now, then hold him back. No need for 10K for daycare... :D

[riggins44]

We held both our boys back a year. It gave them an extra year
to mature. Only one is into sports, so this should help him.

[dfitzo53]

I wasn't quite on the border, but with an early January birthday I've always been older than 90% of my classmates. It was never a problem for me. Like some said, it can give you a head start as far as maturity is concerned, relative to your classmates anyway. It also means you're the first to do things like get a driver's license, checking account, etc. which can be exciting. After elementary school though, I'd say it makes very little real difference.

[Darth Tater]

Always was the youngest in my class. The only year I had a problem was that all the other kids got their DLs when they were sophmores (even though I knew how to drive better than most of 'em since I started driving when I was 13) and I had to wait till I was a senior.

[Blondie]

As an educator........and a principal.......give him another year of maturity.

Blondie