It's GREAT to be a MAN!!

[SouthernStar]

Damn, it's good to be a man!

Your last name stays put.

The garage is all yours.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

Chocolate is just another snack.

You can be president.

You can wear a white t-shirt to a water park.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

You don't give a rat's ass if somebody notices your new hair cut.

The world is your urinal.

You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's too icky.

Same work...more pay.

Wrinkles add character.

Wedding dress $5000; tux rental $100.

People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.

The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.

New shoes don't cut, blister or mangle your feet.

One mood, ALL the damn time!

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

You know stuff about tanks.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

You can open all your own jars.

Dry cleaners and hair stylists don't rob you blind.

You can leave the motel bed unmade.

You can kill your own food.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear costs $8.95 for a three-pack.

If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.

Everything on your face stays its original color.

You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

You don't have to clean your apartment if the maid is coming.

You can quietly watch a game with a buddy for hours without thinking: " He must be mad at me".

You don't mooch off other's desserts.

You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.

You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.

You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

You almost never have strap problems in public.

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

You don't have to shave below your neck.

Your belly usually hides your big hips.

One wallet, one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.

You can "do" your nails with a pocket-knife.

You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24th, in 45 minutes.

[Coooleeey]

:applause:

[Cooley4President]

The world is your urinal.

Especially the woods at FedEx

[cjcdaman]

Damn, it's good to be a man!

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24th, in 45 minutes.

Absolutely!!!

[nace14]

you forgot, "instead of being a hypocrite, you simply live by a double standard."
whoever developed the double standard was a genius. can you image the first dude who convinced a girl he was right because, "but i'm a man."

[PleaseBlitz]

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

Thank god for that. :laugh:

[Rumrunner6900]

Pretty good list....




you forgot, "instead of being a hypocrite, you simply live by a double standard."
whoever developed the double standard was a genius. can you image the first dude who convinced a girl he was right because, "but i'm a man."

Yes...thank GOD for the double standard!! Where would we be without it! :laugh:

[SouthernStar]

thank GOD for the double standard!! Where would we be without it! :laugh:
Are you crazy? Try thinking how many times you "get over" by pulling that crap.....and then compare it to how may SHE "gets over" by being a woman!
How does your double standard look NOW?

Where would we be without it, you ask?

Try here:
In the future, when you and a pretty girl make eye contact and smile at each other.....
50% of the time...:

1. She'll walk over and start the conversation.
2. She'll be the one to ask you out....
3. She will pay for the dinner, drinks, movie, and whatever......
4. She will wash her car, put gas in it, and drive over to pick you up.....

Still want a double standard?

[nace14]

Are you crazy? Try thinking how many times you "get over" by pulling that crap.....and then compare it to how may SHE "gets over" by being a woman!
How does your double standard look NOW?

well apparently you have not learned to master it yet.

[cjcdaman]

http://www.moviequotequiz.com/othersounds/KingOfTheWorld.wav

[rincewind]

I liked the list...


Except for the one about new shoes not hurting. **** that, maybe its because I have wide feet, but new shoes hurt like hell - especially new dress shoes.

[PleaseBlitz]

I liked the list...


Except for the one about new shoes not hurting. **** that, maybe its because I have wide feet, but new shoes hurt like hell - especially new dress shoes.


:doh:

Rince, stop buying the shoes with heels.










:D

[rincewind]

:doh:

Rince, stop buying the shoes with heels.




But they show my calves off so nice...

[AllAboutSkins08]

The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.

hahaha, this is all me.

[SouthernStar]

well apparently you have not learned to master it yet.
Yeah, try as I might, I still can't lick my forehead with my tongue.....

[nace14]

Yeah, try as I might, I still can't lick my forehead with my tongue.....

haha.
i see your point though. "she" definitely gets away with more in a serious relationship. but us stupid 20 something single dudes enjoy it much more i think.

[SkinsD]

CLASSIC! So funny!

[MLSKINS]

I liked the list...


Except for the one about new shoes not hurting. **** that, maybe its because I have wide feet, but new shoes hurt like hell - especially new dress shoes.
I know what you mean but mine is worst I wear an 18.
Oh yeah aboyut the list some people so stare at men chest. Mostly fags and people who never seen man boobs before :doh:

[DCRunner]

Well, except for a couple of those items, I am fine with most of it, i.e., they reflect my life style pretty much and I'm no guy. What the hell kind of wussy little princesses are you guys used to anyway? You need to hang with some real women.

[Rumrunner6900]

Are you crazy? Try thinking how many times you "get over" by pulling that crap.....and then compare it to how may SHE "gets over" by being a woman!
How does your double standard look NOW?

Where would we be without it, you ask?

Try here:
In the future, when you and a pretty girl make eye contact and smile at each other.....
50% of the time...:

1. She'll walk over and start the conversation.
2. She'll be the one to ask you out....
3. She will pay for the dinner, drinks, movie, and whatever......
4. She will wash her car, put gas in it, and drive over to pick you up.....

Still want a double standard?

Please allow me to retort.....

Hell yeah I want a double standard! None of the stuff there really counts anymore since I'm married. :D

Really though...when a man farts...it's expected, with a woman, it is nasty. When a man burps, it's all good....you just enjoyed a good meal or a beer...a woman? Not so attractive.

Now prior to being married, I gladly accepted all of the above in your list, (which is just part of being male), to be able to get away with some of the **** I have due to....you got it....the double standard! YAY DOUBLE STANDARDS!

[wskin44]

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24th, in 45 minutes

One stop Christmas shopping at the ABC store. :40oz:

[kevinklein]

Ah! This was awesome!

My two favorites:

2. You can quitely enjoy a car ride from the passanger seat.
1. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

[rebornempowered]

You know stuff about tanks.

You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

All good but those three crack me up.

The bottom two are me and it drives my wife up the wall.

"Aren't you going to iron that?" says my wife.

I simply reply "Why?"

[GaryClark4Canton]

Well, except for a couple of those items, I am fine with most of it, i.e., they reflect my life style pretty much and I'm no guy. What the hell kind of wussy little princesses are you guys used to anyway? You need to hang with some real women.

YES MAM! I mean Yes Miss Marsha Warfield sir!


GC4C

[SouthernStar]

haha.
i see your point though. "she" definitely gets away with more in a serious relationship.
Actually, the woman gets away with MORE in a casual relationship.

In a serious relationship, some of the "pretexts" are dropped, and things are more informal. She is more likely to spring for the pizza once in a while.

When the relationship is newer, she hardly ever does that.......

And, when you first meet, she will NEVER ask you out.

[nace14]

Actually, the woman gets away with MORE in a casual relationship.

In a serious relationship, some of the "pretexts" are dropped, and things are more informal. She is more likely to spring for the pizza once in a while.

When the relationship is newer, she hardly ever does that.......

And, when you first meet, she will NEVER ask you out.

apparently their is a slight difference between the double standard that i am talking about at 24 and that the people at the age of 50 are talking about.

[#98QBKiller]

Great thread SouthernStar. Yep....it's good to be a man....

[pjfootballer]

No bloating or cramping either.

[MissU28]

You know stuff about tanks.




:laugh: i don't know why that one's so funny

[DeanCollins]

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24th, in 45 minutes.

at Wallmart :laugh: