A week has now gone by - Updated

[SkinsOrlando]

A week ago my wife came home from work, told me she wasn't happy anymore, packed her things and left and told me she wanted a divorce. Been trying to figure out exactly what went wrong as we weren't fighting, we haven't had any real serious issues in our marriage ever. No chance at reconciliation she in her mind has already started moving on with her life. I've now had the worst 90 days of my life having lost my job and now this. Luckily I have my dogs and cats to keep me company but I haven't been alone in over 5 years and this has been so very odd and difficult. I've got to sell the house which happens but I really liked this house, atleast I used to, now it's just a building. Gotta pick up the pieces I guess and start moving forward but I find it difficult to even think about moving forward, it's just so damn odd, when for the past 5 years I've worried about my wifes needs then mine and now I'm just looking out for myself. Luckily, there's no kids involved. I guess I'm rambling but this place has given me some sense of solace through this. Thanks for listening everyone.



SO - Eric

[d0ublestr0ker0ll]

Luckily there are no kids involved. True, double true.

Did you lose your job before she snapped? Could be that. Could be that she found someone else and bolted "on you" in order to be with a new guy (sorry if that's a mean hypothesis). Maybe she even caught you trying to engage in adultery? I'm just baffled how someone can leave a 5 year marriage without an argument. Seems like she had a vandetta against you that makes her too sick to talk about. How hard have you tried to talk to her?

So are you moving in to an apartment, or are you rooming with someone? Sometimes you gotta take steps back in your life, but if you don't let it get to ya then you'll still live a good one.

[SkinsOrlando]

Luckily there are no kids involved. True, double true.

Did you lose your job before she snapped? Could be that. Could be that she found someone else and bolted "on you" in order to be with a new guy (sorry if that's a mean hypothesis). Maybe she even caught you trying to engage in adultery? I'm just baffled how someone can leave a 5 year marriage without an argument. Seems like she had a vandetta against you that makes her too sick to talk about. How hard have you tried to talk to her?

So are you moving in to an apartment, or are you rooming with someone? Sometimes you gotta take steps back in your life, but if you don't let it get to ya then you'll still live a good one.


Yes I lost my job at the end of August and have been in the process of starting my own business. It is possible that she found someone else, I've run through that in my mind. Never tried to cheat, so thats not an issue, I'm not that type of guy. I tried to talk to her about why this happened, all she says is she didn't want to be with me anymore. I gotta sell the house first, then I'll probably buy a small townhouse or condo, can't really rent because of the animals. Thanks for your words bro.

[Switchgear]

That's rough. It's a ****ty thing for her to do to you, no two ways about it. I have no advice (which is good since you didn't ask for any), I just hope things turn around for you.

[PleaseBlitz]

Damn SO. Sorry to hear that I hope you come out the other side ok.

[Maxito]

Sorry to hear about what happen. Your still young, so you still have time to find another one.

Best of luck with you.

[#98QBKiller]

Sorry to hear this man, this is a very tough situation for you. One good thing though is you're still young so this is by no means the end of the road. There are still careers to be started and plenty of women out there. Good luck and may things fall back into place as soon as possible.

[ekoch]

Thats rough, sounds like she is with someone else. This happened to my Uncle years ago. He was curious to find out what happened with his wife and their relationship, so he hired a private investigator who filmed her having intercourse with a local congressman that was 2 1/2 times her age.

[artmonkforHOF]

Life goes on brother, and we are all here for you. I have never been married so I cant relate to that, but about 3 years ago, must have been the darkest part of my life. No job, was getting evicted, gf was cheating on me and I was straight down in the dumps depressed.

I cant remeber exactly what got me to change my outlook, but one day it just happened. Since then I caught a few breaks, finally found employment in my trade and bought my first house earlier this year. 3 years ago, I dont think I even had the motivation to even fantasize about those things.

Just want to let you know that even in the darkest times, when it appears there is no light at the end of the tunnel, there is and this time, no matter how crappy and long it feels, is only temporary. Im sure these 90 days have felt like 900,000 but in the grand scheme of things its only 90 days. Thats like less than 3/10 of 1% of your life, there is much more to come.

Hope you have found a new job, but incase you havent, what I did was work for a temp company. It gave me steady work with enough time off to schedule interviews for other jobs in my field. You might have to swallow some pride-which taste like crap by the way-but I think in a way that experience humbled me and made me a better person.

Good luck to you, and remember, tommorw is another day.

[Reic]

all she says is she didn't want to be with me anymore.

Sorry if I sound harsh about this, but if she says this **** after being married for 5 years, she is not deserving of wearing the ring you placed on her finger. Marriage doesn't work that way, **** that.

[jrockster21]

Wow dude...tough luck. But I gotta agree with Reic here - **** her with a 2x4.

[twenty-eight]

damn man. Sorry to hear that. Hang in there man

[SkinsOrlando]

Sorry if I sound harsh about this, but if she says this **** after being married for 5 years, she is not deserving of wearing the ring you placed on her finger. Marriage doesn't work that way, **** that.


Not harsh at all bro, in fact just about everyone I've talked to has said the saem thing.

[IONTOP]

Not harsh at all bro, in fact just about everyone I've talked to has said the saem thing.


Man, I don't know what to say.. You come off as a really good guy, I hope everything works out... Tip of the day from IONTOP - You really only have 24 more days to use the "wife just left me" line to get some sympathy from girls... Get out there...

:D

If you need to talk, my pm box is always open..

[chipwhich]

Sorry if I sound harsh about this, but if she says this **** after being married for 5 years, she is not deserving of wearing the ring you placed on her finger. Marriage doesn't work that way, **** that.

Try being married....:laugh: Then talk....:D

[SkinsOrlando]

Man, I don't know what to say.. You come off as a really good guy, I hope everything works out... Tip of the day from IONTOP - You really only have 24 more days to use the "wife just left me" line to get some sympathy from girls... Get out there...

:D

If you need to talk, my pm box is always open..


Well, unfortunately I can't entertain any ladies until the divorce is final, one reason is moral standards, the other is the pre-nup. She has no claim to my things unless I cheat and until the divorce is final it's going to have to be that way.

[michael_33]

You may want to look into hiring a PI or possibly do your own camera work on her?

I don't know what's in your pre-nup,but most divorces end by the ex-wife getting 50% of ALL assets...

If there is a no-cheat clause on her part,then you could keep the house or sell it and keep ALL the profits on that!

Otherwise...Not only will you lose your wife,but 1/2 your money will be gone as well....And if she's willing to leave you without much of an explanation by just packing up and running,then don't think she won't take your assets as well.........Hell...She might even try to take your lovely pets..!

Be very careful young man!I hope everything goes your way and I'm sure she is the one making the mistake...not you!

Free advice:Try to keep your house if you can afford too!

[playboy1972]

Hey man, sorry to hear you are going through some changes. All I can say is if you truly feel you did all you could to make this work out and she decided she wasn't happy, then you should rest your mind knowing you did your very best. Sometimes people grow together and sometimes they grow apart. I, personally don't think you can "make someone happy" only let them be themselves. You mentioned you always put her first and you should never regret that. You are to be honored not broken. Good people always win out. ES Family.

[Rskins91]

Man... stories like these always make me somber... that's a lot of tough breaks...

Being 17, I'm really in no position to give advice. Just hang in there, and know that she's the one who's making a mistake, not you. If you did all you could, that's that. Things work like a pendulum, so hopefully it will start swinging back in your favor.

[Prosperity]

sorry to hear that bro, odds are you are better off for it

good luck moving forward from here on out

[VBHOGG]

A week ago my wife came home from work, told me she wasn't happy anymore, packed her things and left and told me she wanted a divorce. Been trying to figure out exactly what went wrong as we weren't fighting, we haven't had any real serious issues in our marriage ever. No chance at reconciliation she in her mind has already started moving on with her life. I've now had the worst 90 days of my life having lost my job and now this. Luckily I have my dogs and cats to keep me company but I haven't been alone in over 5 years and this has been so very odd and difficult. I've got to sell the house which happens but I really liked this house, atleast I used to, now it's just a building. Gotta pick up the pieces I guess and start moving forward but I find it difficult to even think about moving forward, it's just so damn odd, when for the past 5 years I've worried about my wifes needs then mine and now I'm just looking out for myself. Luckily, there's no kids involved. I guess I'm rambling but this place has given me some sense of solace through this. Thanks for listening everyone.



SO - Eric


Man, something like this, maybe on a smaller scale, just happened to me. I wasn't married but I had been dating this girl for two years. I thought everything was going great too.

It actually happened last Friday night. She asked me to come over to her house to watch tv. So I get over there, we hang out and watch some show then she said that she wanted to go to bed. I could tell something was wrong because she was acting really strange. We go up to the bedroom and she has all of my **** folded up and ready to go. My ****ing pictures were even down! She dropped the hammer on me right there... It's like she made up her mind in one day because the night before everything seemed fine. She couldn't even explain why... She said that "it didn't feel right, she had fun with me, but something was missing". I called her once and sent an email.... never heard back.

I've spent the last week thinking about it and I guess I had it coming.... I would often complain about having to hang out with her friends, eat dinner with her parents, basically any and everything I didn't want to do (which was alot) I would complain about it.

Over time my lack of interest in the things that were important to her probably ate away at her. The thing is, if she told me any of this bothered her I would have tried to change. She never talked to me about it, instead, right out of the blue, she just kicked me to the curb.

Time heals everything and you'll move on and get over this eventually. But man, I know it sucks and I can feel your pain.

[Ancalagon the Black]

That's really awful, bro. Just remember that when you're in the valley, you can't see the top of the mountain--but it's still there, waiting for you.

[Ghost of Nibbs McPimpin]

I don't really know what to say that hasn't been said. You're younger than I am and I still feel pretty young and there are no children to worry about.

There is some good still left for you to see and to create in this world. And it's worth fighting for...

[Symbol]

Sorry to hear it bro. My ears are always open, being a person that knows divorce first hand.

[WVUforREDSKINS]

Stay strong. I was actually touched by what you had to said. You are obviously a very strong person with tremendous character.

Things will work out for you.

[DallasBlowsBig]

I agree, that girl sounds like she is not worthy, at least you can tell her next boyfriend/husband that they are getting sloppy seconds.

rust me Ive been cheated on before, which led me to dump my tramp, and when I was drunk a year and a half later downtown in Arlighton I saw my ex-girlfriend with her boyfriend, I went up to the guy and told him "Nice girl, but I already put that "private part" in a coma" He gave me a decent punch in the face, but you should have seen the look on his face..yeahh boooy



Not harsh at all bro, in fact just about everyone I've talked to has said the saem thing.

[Teller]

Hey man, I'm going through a nasty divorce right now myself. I feel like I've probably made every mistake possible throughout the course of things, so I'm probably not the best one for advice. But if you just need someone to talk to, or to get things off your chest, shoot me a PM anytime.


I hope you can find some peace and solace with your pets. Trust me, a completely empty house when you're used to two kids and two dogs is a helluvan empty place.

I'll be praying for you on this end. Good luck.

[TK]

As someone that's been there, done that, the best advice I can give you is to think every move out with a CLEAR head. Don't let your heart get in the way of the life you will have once this clears.

[NDSkinsguy]

Not that there's a whole heck of a lot for me to add, but I just wanted to say I'm sorry man and that things will turn around...keep your head up bro!

[mardi gras skin]

This happened to my best friend. We were on the Gulf Coast helping out with disaster relief, January of 06. When we get home, her stuff is moved out and she's waiting to tell him. No warning. And when she left, she was all the way gone. No chance of a restored marriage.

With her, it turns out it wasn't another person. She was the type to keep her thoughts and emotions bottled up. She said if she stayed she would kill herself. She plans to remain single forever. I still love her like a sister and I hope she finds happiness in her life.

As for my friend, he showed character through the whole process. He did an honest self inventory and made changes where he saw things he didn't want to see. As much as I wish this never happened to him, he came out the other end a better person. And he was rewarded for it. :) He just got re-married to one of the most amazing, emotionally heathy women I have ever met. I was kind of worried that he was getting married again so soon, but she's perfect for him.

I hope and pray that you come out the other side well. God bless you.

[Teller]

This happened to my best friend. We were on the Gulf Coast helping out with disaster relief, January of 06. When we get home, her stuff is moved out and she's waiting to tell him. No warning. And when she left, she was all the way gone. No chance of a restored marriage.

With her, it turns out it wasn't another person. She was the type to keep her thoughts and emotions bottled up. She said if she stayed she would kill herself. She plans to remain single forever. I still love her like a sister and I hope she finds happiness in her life.

As for my friend, he showed character through the whole process. He did an honest self inventory and made changes where he saw things he didn't want to see. As much as I wish this never happened to him, he came out the other end a better person. And he was rewarded for it. :) He just got re-married to one of the most amazing, emotionally heathy women I have ever met. I was kind of worried that he was getting married again so soon, but she's perfect for him.

I hope and pray that you come out the other side well. God bless you.

I don't wanna jack So's thread, but it's good to hear a tale of success and a happy outcome, mardi gras. When you're in the midst of something like this, it's easy to feel hopeless at times. You wonder if you'll ever find true love. Heck, you wonder if you'll ever find love again at all. You keep telling yourself that it will get better. It's just nice to see in a concrete fashion that it actually can, and does.

Also, SO, something I forgot to add earlier that's been keeping me going. Think about your first girlfriend in high school. Remember when that relationship ended? Remember how you thought you'd never get over it? How about the time your dog died? Or you lost that favorite uncle or grandparent?

So many times we run into things in our lives and say, "Damn. I'll never get over this." Yet we always do. When my first high school sweetheart broke up with me, I thought it was the end of the world. (Granted, in retrospect, that's pretty silly, but back then it was a big deal.) Now, I can look at that time in my life as a great experience with a great girl, and the pain is 100% gone.

Our lives will be like that again. We'll look at our marriages as times of learning and growth, times of great joy and, yeah, great sorrow too. But in the end, we'll both be better people for our experiences. And someday, this pain will be gone too, my friend.

Sorry to ramble. Like I said, SO, you ever want to talk, let me know.

[ldysknzfn1]

Sorry SO. It's hard to know what to say about things such as this. I can only say that sometimes things are not meant to be and no matter how much we want them they're not going to work out. When I hear of things like this, it makes me feel sad for those involved. Me, being a female, sometimes don't understand other females. How some can just decide something of this magnitude and not at least give explanations. Now I know I've only heard your side of things so I won't judge her nor you. I am glad kids were not involved and who knows maybe she did you a huge favor in the long run. Now you're free to find the one who was really meant for you. I'm pretty sure you will bounce back. Don't be too hard on yourself and take it slow. Don't try to figure out what happened sometimes it's better that way. Just know that you've done the best that you could. If she wants to tell you then listen. If not then so be it. Sometimes it is what it is unfortunately. Best of luck to you and I hope that sometime in the future you will find the one who wants to be by your side for keeps.
God Bless

[mardi gras skin]

I don't wanna jack So's thread, but it's good to hear a tale of success and a happy outcome, mardi gras. When you're in the midst of something like this, it's easy to feel hopeless at times. You wonder if you'll ever find true love. Heck, you wonder if you'll ever find love again at all. You keep telling yourself that it will get better. It's just nice to see in a concrete fashion that it actually can, and does.

Good. I was worried the "happily ever after" would be bitter for those who haven't been there yet. Eric, this may not even matter a week in to the process. If not, forget it. But I hope one day you have a similar story.

[Thiebear]

SO,
My wife left me with an 11month old and a 4 year old.
That was 4 years ago. Greatest thing to ever happen to me..
I was freaking out at the time though, thought i was doomed, didnt know what i was doing. What the hell.

I sent her new husband that she married 12 days after the divorce a xmas card that just says thank you, with no name 2 years ago. I thought it was funny as hell.

[Teller]

Sorry SO. It's hard to know what to say about things such as this. I can only say that sometimes things are not meant to be and no matter how much we want them they're not going to work out. When I hear of things like this, it makes me feel sad for those involved. Me, being a female, sometimes don't understand other females. How some can just decide something of this magnitude and not at least give explanations. Now I know I've only heard your side of things so I won't judge her nor you. I am glad kids were not involved and who knows maybe she did you a huge favor in the long run. Now you're free to find the one who was really meant for you. I'm pretty sure you will bounce back. Don't be too hard on yourself and take it slow. Don't try to figure out what happened sometimes it's better that way. Just know that you've done the best that you could. If she wants to tell you then listen. If not then so be it. Sometimes it is what it is unfortunately. Best of luck to you and I hope that sometime in the future you will find the one who wants to be by your side for keeps.
God Bless

For someone who always claims to struggle to find the right words; you always seem to get it right. You're a blessing to this board and all who know you.


Good. I was worried the "happily ever after" would be bitter for those who haven't been there yet. Eric, this may not even matter a week in to the process. If not, forget it. But I hope one day you have a similar story.

I hope Eric will see it the same way, but I saw it, very much, as a reminder that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.


SO,
My wife left me with an 11month old and a 4 year old.
That was 4 years ago. Greatest thing to ever happen to me..
I was freaking out at the time though, thought i was doomed, didnt know what i was doing. What the hell.

I sent her new husband that she married 12 days after the divorce a xmas card that just says thank you, with no name 2 years ago. I thought it was funny as hell.

That's awesome!!! :laugh:

You are officially my hero. :cheers:

[jbooma]

I just caught something, you mentioned a prenup? Whos ideal was that and why was it used? Personally it sounds like she found someone else, but like everyone else said there was something that made her stray.

[SkinsOrlando]

I just caught something, you mentioned a prenup? Whos ideal was that and why was it used? Personally it sounds like she found someone else, but like everyone else said there was something that made her stray.

Pre-nup was something her parents came up since she has a trust from her grandmothers estate, which she still doesn't have access to so in the end it's worked out in my best interests.

Came down to my parents hosue in tampa today with the dogs, going to the game tomorrow with my father and he bought me a new computer since she took the old one and the laptop I've been using is his. Thanks to all those who chimed in, it is appreciated.


edit: I'll be sure to lose my lungs cheering tomorrow for all the fellow ES'rs going through this type if **** as well.

[SkinsOrlando]

Update: Well, divorce is final tomorrow around 10 in the morning, thanks to all who responded and to those who didn't but sent there well wishes,thoughts and prayers. Still a very odd thing, she's been somewhat civil through the whole process but not a peach thats for sure. I've decided for the time being not to sell my house, I have some things looking very prosperous on the business side of life so thats good. Never got a reason, doesn't matter at this point in time anyway. So tomorrow I become a single man again, now to find me a new lady, however you do that now a days. Again, thanks to all of you, your support and words meant very much to me.

[Reic]

Goodluck in the future skins.

Get a big screen HDTV first. With surround sound.......

[Pookie]

Update: Well, divorce is final tomorrow around 10 in the morning, thanks to all who responded and to those who didn't but sent there well wishes,thoughts and prayers. Still a very odd thing, she's been somewhat civil through the whole process but not a peach thats for sure. I've decided for the time being not to sell my house, I have some things looking very prosperous on the business side of life so thats good. Never got a reason, doesn't matter at this point in time anyway. So tomorrow I become a single man again, now to find me a new lady, however you do that now a days. Again, thanks to all of you, your support and words meant very much to me.

You'll get thru this...you sound ilke a stand up guy. I thought , as a female, I'd have a different perspective to give you. But no. The guys here have said it well. She didn't deserve you and well, sometimes blessings come in ways we could never imagine.

Best wishes to you.

[PokerPacker]

are there gonna be any court-troubles in the future or is everything handled and out of the way?

[WhodatSkinsFan?]

damn,

man, i'm sorry to hear that....

it's probably better this way. and it's definitely a plus you all didn't have kids.

Get a haircut and manicure.. drive down to South Beach ... enjoy the sights.. and make some new friends.

[Heavens Safety 21]

You cant change what happened in the past. So the only thing to do is move forward. You should look at this as a blessing. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life with someone that just gets up one day and walks out on you with out saying a word? You deserve more then that. Like the song says when ever one door closes one more opens. Jsut keep your head up and take care of yourself. The only one you have to please now is you. F**k her!!

Excuse my language. I normally don't talk like that. :rolleyes:

[gray]

I just saw this thread and I hope this new chapter in your life is a great one!!

[DeanCollins]

Just saw this SkinsOrlando. I've been there done that with a 2yo child when I was 29.
It was also the begining of my efforts to become clean and sober. I resigned my job, as a construction manager, because I couldn't focus on it (tough job) due to the stress of the divorce/single parent issues.

I'm here to tell you that there is life after divorce, and life is very very good. You are way too young to worry about dating again at 27. At this age single women are very motivated in all aspects. They are passing their prime in appearences while reaching thier prime sexually (there I said it). I had more fun dating from 29 to 34 than I can describe. Better than that, wife #2, of 10 years is incredible (Florida native) and sincerely appreciates everything that I do for her. I can't seem to spend enough time with her. Get ready (hit the gym) for a great time and don't settle this time for pos loser. Find one that you can be really happy with. One with her own $$$$ helps too.

[Mad Mike]

One bit of advice...

Don't go looking for "the one". Date, enjoy yourself and enjoy meeting new women, but try not to look for that one you want to marry. When you do, it's too easy to see what you want to see in a woman and not see her for who she really is. It took me a long time to learn that lesson but I'm much happier now for it.

BTW. Same advice for the ladies out there.

Good luck with your fresh start.
:cheers:

[SkinsNut73]

Sorry to hear this SO. I'm afraid I can't offer any more advice than has already been said here...you've got a good family here so be sure to check in from time to time...we'll be here when you need us.

I'm stunned that she will not even give an explanation as to why she is leaving...

[China]

Missed this the first time around. It seems odd and would (to me at least) be frustrating not to get more detail from her about why it ended. On the bright side, at least that's one less Christmas gift you have to worry about. :)

[artmonkforHOF]

Nice to see your pulling through. Go out and have some fun, and remember 2 things 1) wrap it up. Do it twice if you find yourself saying "man, picking her up was so easy...." and 2) watch out for single girls from mid twenties to early 30's that are overly agreeable. That's a good sign they are only looking for a warm body to fill the groom's tuxedo on THEIR wedding day.

[wysknz1]

Bad, dude. My 1st marriage was sorta like this, surprise. Only as soon as she found out she was pregnant, she split. Then went on welfare and got 1/2 my pay in child support. So be glad no children invoved. They are the innocents in it all. But as advice, even though none was solicited, it will pass. My 2nd go round has been unbeatable.

[SkinsOrlando]

Well, thats that, went pretty smooth, no real unexpected hookups except her prick of an attorney. He met with my attorney before hand and was asking if there could be any type of alimony even though there was a pre-nup, unbelievable. Didn't take long, I pretty much gave my ex-wife everything in the house, furniture and such just to make it easy and moved that out a few weeks ago. The best part was after it was all said and done I said "Merry Christmas" and her only response was "Don't expect me to be nice to you". It actually made me laugh, again thanks to all of you and if you're ever in town, hit me up.

[pjfootballer]

This is sad. This is about the 4th thread this year that I've read that a wife was leaving someone. What's going on out there?

[helptheSKINS]

Good luck to you Orlando. You sound like a nice guy and I'm sure you won't have much luck finding another girl. Glad to hear your professional life is going well.

[PokerPacker]

Good luck to you Orlando. You sound like a nice guy and I'm sure you won't have much luck finding another girl. Glad to hear your professional life is going well.
well THAT's reassuring!

[tomgraham]

Sorry to hear this bro...maybe the skins will win out and help with the sadness, at least a little.

[Tastes Like Chicken]

Best of luck to you, SO. Things will get better for you.

My only advice is to not rush into anything too serious, too quickly. Give yourself some time to heal, time to reflect, and most importantly, to have fun. Go on a trip. Buy something ridiculous that you've always wanted for yourself. And do take care.

[jbooma]

Update: Well, divorce is final tomorrow around 10 in the morning, thanks to all who responded and to those who didn't but sent there well wishes,thoughts and prayers. Still a very odd thing, she's been somewhat civil through the whole process but not a peach thats for sure. I've decided for the time being not to sell my house, I have some things looking very prosperous on the business side of life so thats good. Never got a reason, doesn't matter at this point in time anyway. So tomorrow I become a single man again, now to find me a new lady, however you do that now a days. Again, thanks to all of you, your support and words meant very much to me.

Good luck and you will be just fine. I am surprised how fast this is all happened, but most likely for the best.

[Chachie]

NM- Replying to old post.