I hope I did the right thing ***UPDATED***

[Toe Jam]

I'm usually not one to post personal stories but I think the time has come to ask for some advice, prayers, etc. Some will say that a Redskins messageboard is not the place for this but I beg to differ. I've gone to people close to me and quite frankly they have been less than helpful. I was hoping some of you that may have encountered a situation like this could provide some much needed insight.

I won't give you all the details of the trials that I've faced because they don't really pertain to this particular story. I will simply tell you that since I turned 12 I've been justifiably butting heads with my mom. I'm sure that no parent likes their teenager telling them what to do but some things you just can't sit back and excuse. I've witnessed a lot of things in the past six or seven years. My mother had a knack for not taking care of her responsibilities. I ran away on numerous occasions. Just couldn't deal with it anymore. It felt like I was growing up way to fast and was shouldering more responsibility than necessary.

I currently have two younger brothers and a baby sister. My brother Josh is 17 and dropped out of school when he was 15. Illegal. Mom never made him go back and he has no intentions on getting his GED. My brother Jacob is 8 and has been sent home from school for hygene reasons more than once. His grades are bad and nobody takes the time to help him out at home. My sister Ariel is 2 and very, very quiet. She doesn't say anything to anyone. I hardly hear a peep out of her. Very odd.

I moved out about a year ago. Moved in with a guy from my church. I later dropped out of school, got my GED, and immediately enrolled at Virginia Western Community College. My first semester just ended and I received a 4.0 GPA. This is something I would not have acheived had I been living at my mom's house.

Let me cut to the chase here. Two weeks ago I went to pick up Jacob for church. This was the first time he would be going with me and I hadn't been over there in a couple of months. What I found at the house shocked me beyond belief and forced me to do something about it.

I walked in and noticed pots and pans full of water all around the house. The house was also a mess and it looked like nobody had done dishes in months. Josh was a wreck and I could literally smell him across the room. There was also no heat. It was icy cold in the house.

I proceeded upstairs to ask my mother just what the hell was going on. Turns out she had three space heaters in her room to keep her warm. Turns out that she hadn't paid the water bill in three months and it was cut off at the beginning of November. She wouldn't tell me what she was doing with the extra money she was earning from the holidays. Obviously that money should have went towards the bills and it became apparent to me that my brothers and sisters were now living in unsanitary, unhealthy, very poor conditions.

There was no food in the fridge. Josh told me there hadn't been in two weeks. He informed me that mom would go to work at night (overnight), come home, sleep, and then go back to work. That meant he was responsible for taking care of the other two. At the age of 17.

There is a lot more to this story but basically you need to understand that this put me in a very bad position. There was no way that I was going to let this continue. I talked to my Pastor at church that Sunday and he told me to pray on it. No offense but that never really helped me come up with an answer before. After sleeping on it I woke up the next day and called Child Protective Services.

I know alot of people will say that was a bad idea. To me, it was the only thing to do. My mom wasn't taking care of my brothers and my sister. The schools didn't seem to notice anything wrong. Josh had been out of school for two years and no truant officer ever showed up. No intervention specialists. Nobody. Jacob's school just sent home letters. Never did anything else. It just amazed me that nobody noticed the conditions they were living in. When I found out it was enough for me.

I found out this week that Social Services did indeed visit and they filed with the City of Roanoke to have the house condemned. They told my mom that my siblings were to stay with relatives during the holidays and they would let her know what the next course of action would be. So far, my mom has no idea that it was me who called them. They were allowed to visit her for Christmas Eve and Christmas Night. I went out and spent a hundred dollars on groceries so they could have a really good Christmas dinner and other necessities. It's now a waiting game to see what happens.

I believe they will probably remove my siblings from my mother's custody. No matter how bad a parent she is, this will absolutely devastate her. I know she loves us all and wants to do the best she can. Unfortunately she doesn't. She went through the same thing when she was a kid and I have a feeling that it caused a lot of her bad parenting.

I don't know how to feel right now. I feel like I may have single handedly torn this family apart. I'm grateful they allowed them time together for the holidays but it gets murkier from here on out. I hope that I made the right decision. I had to do something. It was killing me inside. I thought my course of action would relieve a lot of the stress but now I'm not so sure. It's really put a lot on my plate right now.

Does anyone think I did the wrong thing? Did I do the right thing? Is there anything else that I can do? I'm so confused right now. I'm asking for any advice anyone might have. Prayers for my family would also be appreciated. I just want my siblings to have the chance to enjoy their lives. For 18 years I hated life with a passion. I was abused emotionally and physically and I'll never forget any of it. I don't want them to grow up and say they had to deal with that. I also don't want them to grow up and hate me for what I did either. Josh is 17 but his mind is about six years behind. It's truly sad.

Thanks for taking the time to read this and any advice would be greatly appreciated.

UPDATED ON POST #30

[Fetus]

thats crazy dude... i'm sorry about the whole situation. i would have done the same thing though... if you can't provide for a child you shouldn't be taking care of them.. no offense... but its just the way i see it... good luck with everything... at first i thought you were going to say you found out your mom was doing meth or something kinda freaked me out.. if that was the case id say intervention and rehab but thank god its not
good luck friend
late merry christmas

[Maxito]

I am sorry to hear what happening to your family. I agree on calling social services on your mother. You had to so whats best interest of your siblings. Hang in there, and hopefully everything turns for the best.

[Teller]

Doing the right thing is seldom the easier of two choices, but I don't have to tell you that. You found out the hardest possible way.

But make no mistake, you absolutely did the right thing. And you shouldn't think about it as having done something that will hurt your mom. Think of it as having done something that could quite possibly SAVE your brothers and sister.

I have to say something else. You've always come across to me as someone who is well-adjusted, articulate, and wise beyond his years. It's truly a shock to hear that you've had such struggles in your life. But as I was discussing with a friend of mine earlier today, God only gives us what we can handle and no more. Clearly, you can handle far more than the average person.

I'll keep you, and your whole family in my thoughts and prayers. It will get better.

[jrockster21]

Did you ever confront her about the conditions? No heat, leaky roof, and no food = conditions not suitable for your siblings. The only thing I would have done differently would have been to threaten her with calling before you actually did, and then waited to see if anything changed.

But then again, that is a ****ed up situation, and you probably can't know what you'd do until you were in it. Sorry you had to go through that, man.

[Toe Jam]

Did you ever confront her about the conditions? No heat, leaky roof, and no food = conditions not suitable for your siblings. The only thing I would have done differently would have been to threaten her with calling before you actually did, and then waited to see if anything changed.

But then again, that is a ****ed up situation, and you probably can't know what you'd do until you were in it. Sorry you had to go through that, man.

I did call her out on it. I told her that nobody could possibly live in these conditions and survive for long.

Her response?

"Oh it'll be fine. I'm not worried about it".

She forced my hand.

[Spartacus87]

Wow. I dunno, personally, I think you did the right thing. Granted, I'm lucky enough to have zero experience in my own life like that, at all, but it seems you did what was best for your siblings. Your mother may love them all, but it doesn't help them get an education they need, or the food and shelter they require. Your last paragraph summed it up it seems- in the end you did them a favor if they can have a chance at fixing the rest of their childhood, and it was a mighty courageous thing to do on your part. That's just my opinion though.

[GSF]

Brandon, that sounds like an extremely difficult situation and I really feel for you, especially at your young age. It sounds like you mom has an addiction, and I hope she gets help.

I think you absolutely did the right thing b/c your siblings were in very real danger and neglect there with your mom.

I don't think there are any easy answers to your situation, but here's my advice FWIW:

Do you have any other adults in your life that can help you? An uncle or aunt, or maybe a mentor type person that you know in your personal life. Any relatives that could take care of the younger kids?

Also, make it your mission to see that your siblings wind up in a better situation. I'm sure you're very busy with school, but you are young and have lots of energy, and your siblings need you. You know you are a strong person by how you've turned your life around, use that strength to help your siblings.

I'm not sure where you would even start, maybe at the kids school, but seek counsel from people with experience with these types of problems. Guidance counselor, Pastor at Church maybe...ask lots of questions and don't give up.

Listen to your guts. Deep down, you know you had to do what you did. Keep following your insincts.

Good luck.

[Toe Jam]

Doing the right thing is seldom the easier of two choices, but I don't have to tell you that. You found out the hardest possible way.

But make no mistake, you absolutely did the right thing. And you shouldn't think about it as having done something that will hurt your mom. Think of it as having done something that could quite possibly SAVE your brothers and sister.

I have to say something else. You've always come across to me as someone who is well-adjusted, articulate, and wise beyond his years. It's truly a shock to hear that you've had such struggles in your life. But as I was discussing with a friend of mine earlier today, God only gives us what we can handle and no more. Clearly, you can handle far more than the average person.

I'll keep you, and your whole family in my thoughts and prayers. It will get better.

Thank you.

I hope in due time my mom can see that maybe this was the right thing and she'll change. Maybe she'll be the mother she never had one day.

She's on the verge of losing her job so I think that will pretty much seal the deal for CPS and what they should do. She told me if she lost her job she'll just collect unemployment. Problem is that her employer will deny her claim because it will be her fault she lost her job.

[jrockster21]

I did call her out on it. I told her that nobody could possibly live in these conditions and survive for long.

Her response?

"Oh it'll be fine. I'm not worried about it".

She forced my hand.

Well in that case, I think you absolutely did the correct thing.

[Toe Jam]

Brandon, that sounds like an extremely difficult situation and I really feel for you, especially at your young age. It sounds like you mom has an addiction, and I hope she gets help.

I think you absolutely did the right thing b/c your siblings were in very real danger and neglect there with your mom.

I don't think there are any easy answers to your situation, but here's my advice FWIW:

Do you have any other adults in your life that can help you? An uncle or aunt, or maybe a mentor type person that you know in your personal life. Any relatives that could take care of the younger kids?

Also, make it your mission to see that your siblings wind up in a better situation. I'm sure you're very busy with school, but you are young and have lots of energy, and your siblings need you. You know you are a strong person by how you've turned your life around, use that strength to help your siblings.

I'm not sure where you would even start, maybe at the kids school, but seek counsel from people with experience with these types of problems. Guidance counselor, Pastor at Church maybe...ask lots of questions and don't give up.

Listen to your guts. Deep down, you know you had to do what you did. Keep following your insincts.

Good luck.

Thanks.

I will definitely take your advice here. As for getting them placed with someone in the family that is less than likely. I have extended family outside of the state that lead decent lives but I have very little contact with them. I may shoot off some phone calls and emails and see what they think though.

[Kosher Ham]

I don't think many will say you did the wrong thing in this situation.

I have this saying that I used to tell people all the time. ' You have to learn from your mistakes, knowing none of us is perfect and will make mistakes is a given, but if you continue to make the same mistakes over and over, you either don't care, can't do the right thing, or you are basically incompetent '. Thus I live my life without regret, even regarding the mistakes I've made (and there have been plenty).

Realizing that you made a decision that may devastate your family is in the past now. What you have to do now is work towards getting your siblings in a position to succeed and been nurtured/cared for, helping your Mother realize that these children are clearly her biggest responsibility and if she wasn't going to take the time and make the committment to all of you than that is the reason she may possibly lose them.

Hopefully things will get turned around and turn out for the best. But as the man of the family you might have done the only thing you could do at the time. Good Luck to you brother.

[G.A.C.O.L.B.]

Sorry man. I've personally witness similar things up close in the past. It is hard. I find myself wondering if drugs are in some way involved. That has always seemed to be the common denominator in the instances of this that I've seen before. Either that or depression. Life is hard man. I hope everything works out. Be there for your brothers and sister. They need you. I know that's hard to ask of a young guy in school but do what you can. Every little bit makes a HUGE difference.

[turtle]

You did the right thing. PM me if you need to talk

[Burgold]

It sounds like you did many right things. You said that in leaving that environment led you to get your GED and now you have a 4.0 in your first semester. That's something to be proud of that people should acknowledge. Going back to school and working hard to get your life right can be very hard.

The situation you described demanded action. No food. No heat. No water. Unsanitary conditions. Sometimes, love demands the hardest of decisions. Who knows, perhaps this will be the kick your mother needs to begin making a positive change or perhaps this will give your siblings an opportunity to realize something better for themselves as you did.

I fully understand your empathy for your mother, but unless there are parts of the story that we don't know that would drastically change the picture, you certainly did the right thing. This hardship doesn't sound like an isolated incident, but part of a downward spiral. You gave them all a chance.

[mardi gras skin]

You did the right thing over and over again.

You took care of yourself first. You got out, found heathy friends to stay with, and you're setting yourself up for the future by focusing on school. Good job. You can't help anyone else if you're mired in it. That was the first right thing to do.

When you saw the problem, you went to your pastor. You sought counsel. I'm a pastor, and I'm always shocked and impressed by people willing to ask for help. It shows wisdom and humility. Based on what you've said, he failed you. When you told him about what was happening in your mom's home, it became his responsibility to walk with you through the process. But YOU did the right thing. Never stop seeking wise counsel.

After getting little to no help from your pastor, you turned to the legal authorities. This is exactly what I would have recommended. Social Services aren't interested in breaking up homes. They are responsible for evaluating conditions within a home and assessing whether or not its safe. You didn't break up your family. You can't. You don't have that power. All you can do is ask the authorities to assess the situation. That's all you did. It was the right call.

What happens next is all on your mother. If this turns out poorly, it will be because SHE didn't do the right thing. Love is more than an emotion. If she begins to understand that love requires acting responsibly and taking care of herself and her children in a healthy way, this will turn out well. If not, at least your siblings are safe. Either way, you did the right thing.

From here on out, I'd contact every family member I could and tell them what's happening. You do not need to tell anyone that you were the one to call social services. There's so much stigma attached to that. But let them know that they have nieces and nephews that might need their help. Keep telling everyone you can trust at your church. Its their responsibility to help you any way they can. Make them earn all that "brother/sister" language.

Finally, take care of yourself. Keep the grades up. Stay healthy in mind and body. Go to bed knowing that you did what you needed to do to save your family.

[RLeVan]

I will agree with everyone else and say you did the right thing. At your age, that is an extremely difficult decision to make. It's not a decision that anyone at your age should have to make, but it says a lot about your character in the choice you made.

As far as advice, by calling CPS, you should get in touch with your relatives NOW! I mean immediately, and tell them what the situation is. You can even talk to neighbors that you feel are responsible and ask them about becoming temporary guardians. CPS provides a warm bed and food but is usually filled with beaten and battered children. Depending on the county, that type of environment although better than what you mentioned, is less than ideal.

Don't feel ashamed about the decision you made or the state of your family. There are many houselholds that go through the same thing and hopefully your pastor can point you to a support group where people can talk about how to get through such an ordeal. I'm not talking about praying and hope it goes away, an actual group to talk to.

Once your brothers and sister are cared for, you're Mom needs help. It sounds like she is clinically depressed to the point where it's become detrimental to the rest of the family. It may look like she doesn't care, but she does, she's just sick. Now that the stress of the children has been relieved, she can focus on getting the help she needs. Also, if you feel the need to confront her, don't have the rest of your family around because that could be damaging to your baby sister.

I know it sounds overwhelming right now, but nothing is going to get fixed immediately. You've taken the first step, and the hardest step. Let your siblings know that your there, even if they aren't living with you. It's a pretty hefty burden thrown on your shoulders but you'll pull through it.

I'll talk to a friend of mine who works in Child Protective Services as to the options that are available to you.

My final bit of advice. Ask questions. Anything that pops into your head, ask it and write it down. You'll be receiving quite a bit of information in the next couple of weeks whether it's advice from this forum or literature from the county. Make a file folder, and store any papers you receive in that file. It may expand into multiple folders, but keep track of everything.

I'm sad to hear that you had to go through this during the holidays, at all even. The ES board here has quite a large swath of knowledge and has probably experienced/ been involved with type of situation before. Take care of yourself, and things will work themselves out. If you have any questions, feel free to PM me any time.

[Tarhog]

You did the right thing. Doing the right thing doesn't mean everything turns out hunky-dorey, or even that knowing it was the 'right thing' makes it any less painful. Your mom may be nice, she may have other positive traits, but theres no excuse for the level of care (or lack of it) she's providing your siblings. They can't all move out.

You did the right thing. I think you know it already.

[gray]

I will keep you and your family in my prayers !

[Rumrunner6900]

That's tough to hear there. It is a shame to have to deal with things like that at a relatively young age.

But to echo what many others have said, you absolutely did the right thing. In my field, I see stuff like that all the time unfortunately, and although reporting is seldom easy for us, it is definately needed.

You did the right thing and all you can really do now is be there for your brothers and sisters. If indeed your mother loses custody of the children, hopefully there is some family of yours that can help pick up the slack. A 19 year old and a 17 year old shouldn't have this burden on their shoulders alone.

My wife works for social services (different dept.), but if you have any questions about how things might go, shoot me a PM and I can find out from her.

Good luck!

[ldysknzfn1]

Wow...heavy burden for a 19y/o. I'm sorry you had to make that decision...I'm sure there was nothing easy about it. I'm impressed that you stepped in at all. Most young people I know wouldn't have done anything.


The safety, health and well-being of your siblings takes precedent in this circumstance imo. Maybe this is what your mother needed to allow her to see she has responsibilities to the children that God gave to her and putting aside those precious gifts is not something anyone should ever do.

I don't think you did what you did out of any kind of malice. I think that your siblings' safety and well-being were your motivators. I commend you for stepping in. I think your mother left you no choice and since you're not in the position to care for them(and it's not your responsibility either), you did what you thought was best for them. They may not be able to see that now but they will someday.

Is there family outside of your mother that can keep them together? I hope the courts would look within the family to find them suitable homes and give your mother time to regroup and get things back on track for them before permanently removing them from her.

I think you did the right thing. Kudos to you for having the heart and courage to go to bat for them. As far as the little one who doesn't say much...have her hearing checked and make sure there's no hearing loss..that sometimes contributes to someone that young not talking or making noises.

Good luck to you and your family. I hope this can get resolved in a way that will benefit everyone. My prayers are with you. Keep your head up and know that your siblings will get warm beds, meals and clean clothes tonite.

[cricket]

You absolutely, without any doubt, did the right thing in this situation.I understand your concerns with right and wrong and you doubting yourself and your decision. I get all of that.
The number one priority is the health and safety of your brothers and sister. The number two priority is getting your mother well.
She is not well, from the sound of things she is depressed or has a drug problem. Sorry to say it, but the other ES'ers have mentioned it as well. I don't know if the Child Protective Services people will get involved with her issues and get her the help that she needs or what, but getting family involved and the church involved should be able to help with her needs. You cannot do this alone and you are not expected to do this alone. But it sounds like you will not just let your mother sit there and do nothing to help her.
As the others have stated, do be around your siblings. They will need your love, support and guidance during this time.
I also agree with a few others in that you should try and find a support group, someone you can talk to about all of this, people who have encountered the same things as you have in your life. It may help with the healing you need and deserve.
Keep us posted with what happens please.
You have done a good thing.
Do not doubt yourself.
No matter what happens.
God bless.

[Toe Jam]

I want to thank all of you for the advice and kind words.

I'm going to contact family members immediately and talk to some of my close older friends at church. I was confident that I did the right thing but there are some who thought I didn't and it put a small amount of doubt in the back of my head. I think I can erase that now and move forward. Sometimes hearing the opinions of people you aren't as close to can be very helpful.

The Spring semester starts in about a week so I'm preparing myself for that. I'm also trying to get more involved in my church. I really want to stay on the right track and it's situations like this that tend to throw me off sometimes. I won't let it happen this time. No way.

I'm going to the game this weekend and I can't tell you how much of a relief it is to get away for a weekend. This doesn't mean I don't care about the situation but sometimes a person needs to enjoy life a little bit.

I'll keep you guys updated and let you know what happens. Thanks again for all the advice. God bless.

[gbear]

Wow...kudos to you.

Seriously, you've done something that seems so hard for people to do in seeking and getting outside help.

As foster parents, my wife and I are taking care of two sick kids. I'm convinced there are no happy stories going into foster care, but I do think there are happier ones in it and after it. It's not that foster care is that some place over the rainbow for all kids, but it's better than the situation you describe.

As for worrying about having broken up the family, I can honestly say in MD the foster care system goes way way out of its way to reunite families. Frequently it goes too far (from a foster parents perspective who comes to care about my kids and wants them to go back to a safe enviroment). If VA is anything like MD, your mom will get help and every chance (and I mean EVERY) to get the family back together. If it doesn't happen, know that your family is probably in a better situation. All of that being said, talk to your family, neighbors,friends, church, etc. about trying to take the kids in so they can stay in an enviroment closest to what they live in now.

Regardless of how that turns out, talk to their social worker and their lawyer. You'd be amazed how much good having the attention of one or the other of them can do so make sure they are looking after the interests of your family. The opposite is also true so stay in touch with them.

Good luck. Let me know if I can help.

[Tastes Like Chicken]

First, know that my family is praying for you right now.

Secondly, understand that none of this that has happened, nor anything that will come out of it, is your fault. You absolutely did the right thing. And it was a decision that not many 19-year olds could make. I know that it was tough, but do not second guess yourself. You're looking out for the minors in this situation, as they cannot take care of themselves and currently your mother is not able to. Whether that is from depression, substance abuse, mental illness, or whatever the case may be.

As others said, contact every single family member, no matter how distant the relation or last time you've spoken with them. Hopefully the CPS folks can link you up with a good social worker to help you through the upcoming process. Sometimes schools have counselors, perhaps you might want to speak with one at your college and they might have some ideas/connections.

With your decision, you have set in motion a chain of events which will put your siblings in a better and safer situation, and your mother should have the opportunity to make a change in her life, too, by getting the help that she needs. Be proud of what you have done, my friend. As difficult as I imagine it was, you need not look back with regret because you did the right thing!!

[Touchdown Redskins]

I definitely think you did the right thing man. It sucks that you have to go through this at an age when you should still be carefree, but it shows that you're a very mature person. One thing I might suggest is telling your mother it was you who called Social Services, because if you she loves you children as much as you say she does, then she might be willing to change her life around if she knew it was one of her children who was calling her out on her behavior. I hope everything gets better fast for you.

[pjfootballer]

You did the right thing. By you finishing school and going to college, you are breaking the cycle. I see it all the time in my job applying for Medical Assistance at my hospital. Grandmother, mother, daughter and kids all on welfare. Somewhere the cycle has to be broken and it looks like you're trying your best to end it. I think your siblings will someday appreciate what you did for them. It may be a lot to handle now, but you and them will be better off for it.

[DCsportsfan53]

Man, sorry to hear this, sounds like a very bad situation. FWIW, I absolutely think you did the right thing. I don't see what else you could've done, the guilt of letting your siblings live another day in those conditions would've been far worse and stuck with you far longer than doing what you did. Just keep reminding yourself that you did what you did for the health and well being of your siblings, that it ABSOLUTELY was not your fault for "tearing the family apart" and that you did the right thing. I would definitely recommend you reach out to other members of your family and those in your church for help and advice. The most important thing right now is to find a way to put your brothers and sisters in a situation where they can thrive or at the very least, live healthy lives. Good luck, I can't imagine what that's been like to go through.

[swaroopm]

Just adding a few words of support to the chorus here. I'm duly impressed by your fortitude and independence, but the thing that gives me the most confidence in your ability to persevere is the way you are reflecting on your actions. You'll continue to do the right thing so long as you continue to think carefully and critically about your decisions - both before and after you make them. Question yourself, challenge yourself, but don't doubt yourself - keep your head up, and trust your heart. After you get through all this, you'll have the strength to make it through anything, eh? That will be pretty awesome. Best wishes for a wonderful 2008.

[Toe Jam]

Good news.

It seems that my mom is trying her best to turn things around. Social Services will visit the house every two weeks and she is required to meet certain "benchmarks" in a timely manner. If she complies completely then she will not lose the kids.

Josh has to pursue a GED or enroll in high school again. That's the big one. His education is very important to the social workers.

They are now in the process of moving out of that dump and into a much better residence for less price. I will be joinning them for the next six months and will be helping out with things. I feel that I'm able to do this and attend school at the same time. Mainly I'll just be helping my brothers with homework and helping to pay a few bills until my mom finds a decent job.

My mom will also be taking classes to help her with her drinking problem. I hope and pray those are succesful.

I will keep you guys updated. Right now it's looking a lot better than it did a few weeks ago.

Thanks.

[paige3girl]

Thank you for the update. I hope that everything works out for you and your family.

[B&GPride44]

Glad to hear...Best of luck to your entire family!

[CandaceM23]

Awesome. Awesome. Awesome.

[Blackest Eyes]

Dude at age 19 you sound pretty grown up to me. It sounds like you did the right thing. Kudos to you for being so responsible. Hope things work out for the best. Sounds like its going well so far.

[ldysknzfn1]

Thanks for the update. Glad things seem to be turning around for the better for your Mom and I'm glad she realized the cost of her actions. Sure it took desperate measures to open her eyes but at least she was able to see and respond to those measures appropriately. I hope everything continues to go upward for you and your family. Good Luck and keep updating.

[TMK9973]

Sounds great! Shows you did the right thing.

I have one peice of advise... Others might disagree, but I think this may be key.

NEVER TELL HER.

Even if in the long run it turns out to be cleary the best thing that happened. Even if years from now she says "I wonder who called? I should thank them". Even if your siblings point to that event as the turn around in their lives.
Don't tell them. Nothing good will come out of that.
Know you did the right thing and know that your family now has a chance thanks to your actions. You do not need to share that.

[Sticksboi05]

I'm really sorry to hear about the situation. If it means anything I think you did the right thing.

[Toe Jam]

Sounds great! Shows you did the right thing.

I have one peice of advise... Others might disagree, but I think this may be key.

NEVER TELL HER.

Even if in the long run it turns out to be cleary the best thing that happened. Even if years from now she says "I wonder who called? I should thank them". Even if your siblings point to that event as the turn around in their lives.
Don't tell them. Nothing good will come out of that.
Know you did the right thing and know that your family now has a chance thanks to your actions. You do not need to share that.

I agree with you.

I'll never tell her. Not in a million years.

[One Shot]

That's great news and you handled it like a man. The outcome only proves that what you did was right. Good luck with everything.

[herb mul-key]

We are with you man...way to go... you are a hero!!!!!!!!!

[Tastes Like Chicken]

Glad to hear that things are making a turn for the better.

[KingGibbs]

Although you're only nineteen, you are indeed a man B. A lot of people would've walked away from the situation. You will be rewarded somehow, someway for your positive actions and contributions. Good job my friend. You should be proud of yourself.

[Bang]

Good luck, I hope it works out for the best.

You sound like a good man with clear vision. I have faith in you.

~Bang

[turtle]

Awesome job. I know it's hard but keep your head up.

[MontanaRed]

Brandon, I didn't see your post until tonight and I'm extra glad I gave you a hug when we finally met at the Cowboys game! I had no idea you were going through so much.

You definitely did the right thing for your family, and I admire your maturity and responsibility. You've had to take care of a lot for someone young.

It sounds like with some help, your mom is willing to get things back on track.
I'm glad to hear about the classes for alcohol abuse, and she would find good support with AA. There is also Al-Anon and Al-A-Teen which could help you and your brother. It's about detaching with love, which is what you did when you made that phone call. You were able to step outside of the situation and do what needed to be done - and might have changed everybody's lives for the better.

Much luck to you and your family, and please take care of yourself. It's like losing pressure in an airline cabin; you need to place the oxygen mask on yourself first, before you can save anyone else. Please do what you need to do for your own well-being. We can only help others when we take care of ourselves.

PM or email me if you'd like to talk.

[cricket]

Thanks so much for the update, I have been thinking about you and wondering how things were going.

I am concerned about you moving in and helping out around the house. Don't get me wrong, I am just concerned for YOU.
You have yourself in a great frame of mind and are succeeding so great outside of your mother's house and doing so well in school (4.0 GEEZ), I don't want you to slip. It would be too easy to let your schoolwork go because you are working too hard helping around the house and with the siblings and your mom. And that isn't all bad, I am just worried is all. It may be too much.
So just be mindful and don't be afraid to ask for help from relatives or the church.
Be well.