My mom gets out of prison tomorrow

[Reic]

She is released at 8am tomorrow morning. My sister, Mallory, and I are driving to our grandparents to have our christmas/birthday(s), my mom turned 50 on Dec 14th.

I am excited to see her, but I am not as excited as I think I should be. Reason being is if she messes up again, she is going back and not getting out until I am well into my 50s. She has made many a promise that she was clean of her habit just to screw up again and go back to another jail cell or rehab facility.

I am done giving my hopes up with her, because it only hurts too much. I have gotten used to her being in and out of prison and rehab for the past 3 or 4 years. I know she misses us, and we miss her too, but for me personally, I don't know how I will be able to adjust having my mom back in the free world.

I start college back up in 2 weeks so she isn't going to be able to spend the time with me that she wanted, and I think that is really going to upset her. I will not know how to adjust to her calling every day or wanting to come visit on the weekends, when I usually dedicate weekends to researching and typing papers.

I hate the thought of having to adjust my life to accomodate a mom, kids should never have to adjust to that, they should always have one available. My family has told her if she messes up again that they are finished with her, and my sister and I agree. We have lives to live and we can't keep being strung around my mom making stupid decisions. Hopefully a year and a half of prison has changed her. I didn't visit her, and I rarely wrote her. My reasoning being, if she wants to see me and hear from me, she needs to set her act straight and stay out of jail, because next time she is going b ack for 30+ years.

I will see her this weekend, and I will get to watch our playoff game with her, I am looking forward to that. I will let everyone know how it all went.

[Mad Mike]

Wow. Good luck man. :cheers:

[jrockster21]

Wow...had no idea. One of the rare things I agree with Christianity about is forgiveness...especially when it comes to family. You only get one mom - whether she's a screw up or not. Just keep that in mind, and enjoy your two weeks with her.

[PleaseBlitz]

What did she do?

[dwbiggs]

What did she do?



Is that really important to this post?

[Henry]

Thanks for sharing something so personal with us. I hope everything works out for your family.

[PleaseBlitz]

Is that really important to this post?


Did i ask you?

[Reic]

What did she do?

Over 50 counts of prescription drug fraud.

Working in the medical field and becoming addicted to pain meds is not a good mix.

I don't know which medication it was, but it was for her migranes and she eventually became dependent and wrote her own prescriptions and forged signitures.


Jrock, I forgive her, as I know what addiction is like, I had video game addiction for about 4 years (I don't want to compare, but in my eyes and addiction is an addiction). I felt guilty for a long time when she went to her first detox and rehab, because I lived with her for 4 months prior. Now it is just too taxing mentally for me, my brain needs to be focused elsewhere is all.

[WVUforREDSKINS]

Glad you get to see her.

You know deep down she loves you and the rest of her family more than her addiction (whatever that might be). Look at it this way, she already has a year and a half sober.

Enjoy the game with her. Tell her exactly how you feel and how much you care about her and her sobriety.:2cents:

[PleaseBlitz]

Over 50 counts of prescription drug fraud.

Working in the medical field and becoming addicted to pain meds is not a good mix.

I don't know which medication it was, but it was for her migranes and she eventually became dependent and wrote her own prescriptions and forged signitures.


Jrock, I forgive her, as I know what addiction is like, I had video game addiction for about 4 years (I don't want to compare, but in my eyes and addiction is an addiction). I felt guilty for a long time when she went to her first detox and rehab, because I lived with her for 4 months prior. Now it is just too taxing mentally for me, my brain needs to be focused elsewhere is all.

Well i hope she's better and everything works out for you and your fam.

[Reic]

Is that really important to this post?

It is ok, dwbiggs, everyone asks and awareness is the best way to thwart this kinda stuff.

I joke about mom being in jail all the time, and I joke with her when I would talk to her on the phone. That has always been my personality with her, and I wanted her to be able to laugh and have a good time while talking to me when she was there.

[Reic]

Glad you get to see her.

You know deep down she loves you and the rest of her family more than her addiction (whatever that might be). Look at it this way, she already has a year and a half sober.

Enjoy the game with her. Tell her exactly how you feel and how much you care about her and her sobriety.:2cents:

Oh, it will be emotional, and everything is going to be said that hasn't already been told to her. I told her where I stand in the situation, it was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. Telling your mom that you can't deal with her as much as she would like if she messes up again doesn't feel good.

[gbear]

Good luck. In a lot of ways she is lucky to have as put together kid as you come across. I can't imagine what it would be like to be separated from my kids for 18 months at your age nor what I would expect if I were in her shoes.

Good luck, and take care of yourself (not talking just physically but also emotionally...playoffs can be rough :D ). Seriously, I hope you can allow yourself to honestly wish for a better relationship than while she was in jail.

[dwbiggs]

Quote:
Originally Posted by dwbiggs
Is that really important to this post?



It is ok, dwbiggs, everyone asks and awareness is the best way to thwart this kinda stuff.

I joke about mom being in jail all the time, and I joke with her when I would talk to her on the phone. That has always been my personality with her, and I wanted her to be able to laugh and have a good time while talking to me when she was there.

No problem...figured if you wantred to disclose you would have in original post. I wish you and yours the best of luck during this difficult and trying time. I can't even pretend to know what you are going through.

[twenty-eight]

Hope all goes well this weekend. Seems to me like you're handling this whole situation in a very mature manner.

[The_cavalierman]

Having recently lost my dad the only thing I will tell you is that you only get one set of parents. My dad is still the greatest man I ever met and my hero. I miss him everyday.

I cannot imagine the dynamics of your situation but treasure the time you have with your mom and try to turn what time you have into positives.

The past is the past...go forward and try to make the next 50 years great one day at a time.

Goodluck to you

[DGreenistheBest]

I don't know which medication it was, but it was for her migranes and she eventually became dependent and wrote her own prescriptions and forged signitures.

Could have been ergotamine tartrate. It used to be commonly prescribed for migraines but if you become dependent on it, the main symptom of withdrawal is more migraines. Guess the FDA really ****ed that one up. It's still used in some cases.

[Reic]

Hope all goes well this weekend. Seems to me like you're handling this whole situation in a very mature manner.

Well my sister took it very hard, so I wanted to be the support for her. Mom was placed in Culpeper jail for a few months, and we lived there so we got to visit her once a week, and that helped Mallory a lot. Now she has the same mentality as me.

I hate to say I got used to it, but ultimately that is what it comes down to, it has deffinately helped me along in my growing up. Mom was lucky to even be at my highschool graduation in 2005, she was in jail a few days after that. I am glad she will be able to celebrate our 21st with us, and my best friend turns 21 tomorrow, and he was like a son to my mom, so she gets to talk with him too.

Gbear, thanks for the kind words :)

[georgiaredskin]

WOW, Reic, you sure have been through it in your young life. You are such a wonderful, good young man. I'm so proud of you for keeping your good head about you despite your circumstances.

I never had a parent who was an active addict, but I was engaged to one, and had a 3 1/2 year heartbreaking experience with an otherwise good person. So please contact me if you ever need an ear or to vent, because I totally have been there and understand.

On the flip side, I lost my mother in 2005, and would give anything to hear her voice or see her. Addiction is like life's pickle, where if you give too much, you could run the risk of feeding the problem.

So my friend, hang in there. You will be in our prayers. I am here for you.

[Reic]

Could have been ergotamine tartrate. It used to be commonly prescribed for migraines but if you become dependent on it, the main symptom of withdrawal is more migraines. Guess the FDA really ****ed that one up. It's still used in some cases.

I dunno what her withdrawls were like, I won't ask her, though.

I do know she used to hallucinate when she took too many, which was funny sometimes, and we still joke about it, it makes it easier for her to handle.

[Reic]

WOW, Reic, you sure have been through it in your young life. You are such a wonderful, good young man. I'm so proud of you for keeping your good head about you despite your circumstances.

I never had a parent who was an active addict, but I was engaged to one, and had a 3 1/2 year heartbreaking experience with an otherwise good person. So please contact me if you ever need an ear or to vent, because I totally have been there and understand.

On the flip side, I lost my mother in 2005, and would give anything to hear her voice or see her. Addiction is like life's pickle, where if you give too much, you could run the risk of feeding the problem.

So my friend, hang in there. You will be in our prayers. I am here for you.

Thank you, georgia, and I am sorry for your loss.

[ncsuapex]

ok so a David Allen Coe might not be the best thing for this thread. sorry.

[DCranon21]

Good luck Reic seriously man. My grandfather used to be a big time alchy, and it almost split up my mom, aunts and uncles big time. He's over it now, but he's really suffering. But I hope you and your family makes it through.

[Destino]

I'm sorry to hear that man, that really is a tough situation to be in. I just hope you can rise above the negativity and be there for your mother. It's the right thing to do. We only get one mom in life and in a perfect world they are always there for us in the real world however, especially as we get older, we often have to be there for them. I'm sure it's crushing for her to know that she dissapointed her family, I can't imagine what that would feel like. I've seen a lot of people wash their hands of their parents and live to regret it.

Good luck to you man, you have a tough situation on your hands.

[Reic]

ok so a David Allen Coe might not be the best thing for this thread. sorry.

I had a laugh out of it, I was going to reply that I don't think it is going to rain tomorrow, and instead of an old train, my grandparents live on a lake, so I would rather have to worry about trains :D

[DeanCollins]

sorry to here about this Reic, it must be tough for you and your sister. Your mother's chances of staying clean are slim unless she continues to attend 12 step meetings daily for a couple years and it would be very beneficial to her recovery if she also attended regular counseling. A good book for you to read on the subject of dysfunctional family dynamics is "on the family" by John Bradshaw.


You do need to stop worrying about her problems and focus on you life. She's gonna do what she's gonna do and it'll be best for all of you if you can let it go. You didn't cause it, you can't control it, and you can't cure it.
My Mother pretty much stayed drunk and on prescription pills my whole childhood and it sucked bad. I had no hope for her at all, and now she he has 32 years of sobriety.

I hope this helps,

Dean

[Kosher Ham]

Sounds like a sober upcoming weekend for you.

I really don't know how to respond to this. Hope your Mom can turn it all around and walk the straight and narrow, and you can continue to be the shoulder and pillar or strength in your family.

[FunBunch7]

I was Corrections Officer at a female prison a little over 5 yrs ago...I quit for 2 reasons...it was nothing like those "prison chick flicks" from back in the 80's AND they wanted me to work during Redskin games...

But I do remember speaking to woman as they were filling out their paper work for being released. I was encouraging them to think about what their life was like that got them "here" in the first place and for the sake of their family and kids (most were moms) to move forward and become a living, walking testimony how someone can pick themselves up off the mat and be a positive contributor to society...and an example for their children.

[gray]

Good Luck to you and your family for a new beginning !! I hope everyone makes the best of it !

[cricket]

Hey there you,

I really appreciate you sharing this with all of us, your other family.
We have gotten to know you and care about you and this helps explain why you are how you are and why you are the great person that you are.
All the best this weekend, you'll be on my mind, and like someone else already mentioned, you gotta press on and live for YOU.
This life you live is all about YOU, my friend, you and Erin.
And I am very proud of you and all that you have accomplished so far.
GO SKINS!
~Stacey

[Reic]

I try to respond to everyone individually in this post, but the majority of it would just be a thank you.

Thank you everyone who has responded. It will be a fun weekend :)

[Tastes Like Chicken]

Reic, wow, just saw this.

Good luck with everything. Dealing with an ongoing addiction must have been very tough on you, her, the whole family. My father was an alchie until I gave him an ultimatum- me or the bottle- at the age of 8.

As others have said, you have one Mom and that's it, so make the most of your relationship. I said goodbye to my parents at 18- God, what I wouldn't give for a chance at another conversation with them. Look at this, like a second chance with your Mom. You're one of the good guys, Reic. I'm proud of you. I can only imagine how proud she must be. :)

[Gary Clark Fan]

good luck with you. u truely will have another reason to celebrate with her this weekend when the skins win!

[kevin11]

Over 50 counts of prescription drug fraud.

Working in the medical field and becoming addicted to pain meds is not a good mix.

I don't know which medication it was, but it was for her migranes and she eventually became dependent and wrote her own prescriptions and forged signitures.


sounds like my mom. Except she never been arrested formore than a month. She just takes too much and then waits for more by her doctor.

[kevin11]

Alright Reic. From what I noticed, pain pill poppers are usually really emotionally weak when they stop. So, you should just be really nice to her and baby her a little. Don't argue with her about anything serious.

[Skins2010]

She is released at 8am tomorrow morning. My sister, Mallory, and I are driving to our grandparents to have our christmas/birthday(s), my mom turned 50 on Dec 14th.

I am excited to see her, but I am not as excited as I think I should be. Reason being is if she messes up again, she is going back and not getting out until I am well into my 50s. She has made many a promise that she was clean of her habit just to screw up again and go back to another jail cell or rehab facility.

I am done giving my hopes up with her, because it only hurts too much. I have gotten used to her being in and out of prison and rehab for the past 3 or 4 years. I know she misses us, and we miss her too, but for me personally, I don't know how I will be able to adjust having my mom back in the free world.

I start college back up in 2 weeks so she isn't going to be able to spend the time with me that she wanted, and I think that is really going to upset her. I will not know how to adjust to her calling every day or wanting to come visit on the weekends, when I usually dedicate weekends to researching and typing papers.

I hate the thought of having to adjust my life to accomodate a mom, kids should never have to adjust to that, they should always have one available. My family has told her if she messes up again that they are finished with her, and my sister and I agree. We have lives to live and we can't keep being strung around my mom making stupid decisions. Hopefully a year and a half of prison has changed her. I didn't visit her, and I rarely wrote her. My reasoning being, if she wants to see me and hear from me, she needs to set her act straight and stay out of jail, because next time she is going b ack for 30+ years.

I will see her this weekend, and I will get to watch our playoff game with her, I am looking forward to that. I will let everyone know how it all went.

Nothing like sharing on the redskins board Good luck

[Seabee1973]

Make sure you are there to support you dont have to spend all your time with her but it is important that she knows you lover her and hopefully your family does also

[truckedbysellers]

I hate the thought of having to adjust my life to accomodate a mom, kids should never have to adjust to that, they should always have one available.

You are in no way wrong for thinking like this. You're at a time in your life where you should be enjoying your life not worrying about baby sitting an adult. Your mom has a problem but she also needs to take some ownership in addressing her problem like a responsible adult.

I went through a situation similar to yours when I was a fresh/soph in college. My dad didn't go to jail but he was a huge drunk. He would show up to my lacrosse games waisted. It was horrible. He didn't change his ways and it's been 10 years since I've talked to him. He's so far removed from my life that I don't even miss him. My heart goes out to you bro. Hang in there.

[da#1skinsfan]

that sucks man, people who abuse some pain meds can spend serious time in jail, what a joke.

meanwhile rapists and murderers are being "rehabilitated". what a waste.

sorry, I'll step off my soapbox. good luck with your mom man, remember everyone makes mistakes, drugs are a difficult thing for some people to deal with, more than others, you never know until your in someone elses shoes feeling their pain. be supportive so she doesnt go back down that road...best of luck man.

[Reic]

Alright Reic. From what I noticed, pain pill poppers are usually really emotionally weak when they stop. So, you should just be really nice to her and baby her a little. Don't argue with her about anything serious.

She has been clean for more than a year, she is completely clean as far as I know, and had been for a long, long while. My mom and I have never argued, my dad and I go at it constantly :)


You are in no way wrong for thinking like this. You're at a time in your life where you should be enjoying your life not worrying about baby sitting an adult. Your mom has a problem but she also needs to take some ownership in addressing her problem like a responsible adult.

I went through a situation similar to yours when I was a fresh/soph in college. My dad didn't go to jail but he was a huge drunk. He would show up to my lacrosse games waisted. It was horrible. He didn't change his ways and it's been 10 years since I've talked to him. He's so far removed from my life that I don't even miss him. My heart goes out to you bro. Hang in there.

I am sorry for your situation, trucked, my dad and I don't get along very well, but he is extremely supportive of me, so it is a love-hate thing :laugh:


that sucks man, people who abuse some pain meds can spend serious time in jail, what a joke.

meanwhile rapists and murderers are being "rehabilitated". what a waste.

sorry, I'll step off my soapbox. good luck with your mom man, remember everyone makes mistakes, drugs are a difficult thing for some people to deal with, more than others, you never know until your in someone elses shoes feeling their pain. be supportive so she doesnt go back down that road...best of luck man.

thank you, we are going to be supportive to a point, but everyone is so drained from her lying to us saying she won't be screwing up again and screwing up and going back to a rehab facility after getting kicked out of one after the other. It has been an extremely long journey and very frustrating. That is one of the reasons why I didn't speak to her much, because it was too emotionally draining for me, because she had lied to us so much.

[Teller]

You're in my thoughts and prayers, Reic. All the best to you, your mom, and your entire family going forward.

:cheers:

[Reic]

You're in my thoughts and prayers, Reic. All the best to you, your mom, and your entire family going forward.

:cheers:

Thank you, brother.

[Drockvb]

Dang, heavy stuff there Reic. I hope the road to recovery is a smooth one for her. As mad as you probably are at her, remember that supporting her recovery is the best thing you can do. Always try to stay positive for her, and keep talking with her as much as possible. The best thing you can do is keep an eye on her, ala talk to her as much as you can to make sure she doesn't slip again.

[DWinzit]

Reic, many people who go through these type situations (especially the younger) follow into similar paths. It is evident by your posts that you have taken the high road :cool: . Although it may not feel it now, going though these events has strengthened you as a person.


Your Mom needs you to stay strong and continue supporting her.

Keep the faith:)