The Republican Fisherman

[skinsfan51]

The Republican Fisherman

A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her
altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, 'Excuse
me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but
I don't know where I am.'

The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, 'You're in a hot air
balloon, approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2346 feet
above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.'

She rolled her eyes and said, 'You must be a Republican.'

'I am,' replied the man. 'How did you know?'

'Well,' answered the balloonist, 'Everything you told me is correct, but I have no idea what to do with your information, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help to me.'

The man smiled and responded, 'You must be a Democrat.'

'I am,' replied the balloonist. 'How did you know?'

'Well,' said the man, 'you don't know where you are or where you are
going. You've risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You
made a promise that you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. You're in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but, somehow, now it's my fault.'
:D :D :D :applause: :thumbsup:

[Mass_SkinsFan]

That is FABULOUS!!!!

[SkinsOrlando]

Awesome, gotta get that one out in the email.

[Burgold]

Cute joke.


Kinda old though...

[skinsfan51]

Cute joke.


Kinda old though...

Yeah, got it from an email. But things like this never grow old! ;)

[SkinsHokieFan]

I think I got that email in 1999

Good stuff, but VERY old

[BigMike619]

I printed that email and put it on every Kerry voters desk that I knew at work. Lets just say I wasnt exactly given a warm reception for the next week by them.

[DjTj]

I think I got that email in 1999

Good stuff, but VERY oldAnd the Tailgate has definitely seen it before:

http://www.extremeskins.com/forums/showthread.php?p=1156766&postcount=5

http://www.extremeskins.com/forums/showthread.php?t=102562

[helptheSKINS]

I always enjoy it. I say we make it a sticky!

[Destino]

She should have mentioned she worked for a large corporation. That way the republican would have been happy to pull her to her destination and have the tax payer cover all her costs.

[flashback]

I prefer the original.


A man is flying a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts, "Excuse me. Can you help me? I promised my friend I would meet him half an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The man below says, "Yes, You are in a hot air balloon, hovering approximately 30 feet above this field. You are between 40 and 42 degrees N. Latitude, and between 58 and 60 degrees W. longitude".

"You must be an engineer," says the balloonist.

"I am," replies the man. "How did you know?"

"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I am still lost."

The man below says, "You must be a manager."

"I am," replies the balloonist, "but how did you know?"

"Well," says the man below, "you don't know where you are, or where you are going, You have made a promise which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now it is somehow my fault."
I guess I'm old-fashioned. You might even say... conservative?

[Henry]

I heard the joke before, but instead of 'Republican' and 'Democrat' it was the 'Engineer' and 'Management' version, which I thought was funnier. And I was the manager of the guy who told it to me. :)

[Thiebear]

The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now it is somehow my fault."

This somehow seems to spread like wildfire across the lands and newspapers..

[THEArmchairQB]

Try this one on for size

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges. You are carrying a Glock 20, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.

What do you do?

Democrat Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question. Does the man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?

Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? Should I call 911? Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day, and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior. This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.


Republican Answer: BANG

[28rdsknsfn28]

I heard the joke before, but instead of 'Republican' and 'Democrat' it was the 'Engineer' and 'Management' version, which I thought was funnier. And I was the manager of the guy who told it to me. :)

I heard it as 'Sergeant' and 'officer'

[Prosperity]

:D :D :D :applause: :thumbsup:

You must be a Republican