Air Mattress Missing from Canton, OH

[Teller]

One final attempt to save my own life. :doh:

I borrowed my ex-wife's blowup bed to take to Canton. Somehow, it failed to come back from Canton. No one, so far as I can tell, who had a car at our hotel, has it.

If you have seen said queen size mattress, and/or know where it can be located, please post in this thread.

Otherwise, I'll post the pictures of my ex-wife cutting my testicles off and making me eat them sometime in the very near future.

Thanks.

:doh: :doh: :doh: :doh: :doh:

[Seabee1973]

If this was only a misquote the person above you thread

[SkinsBry]

Did you call the hotel, maybe you left it behind in the room. Good luck trying to find it.

[Kosher Ham]

Weak, at best.

:doh:

[Teller]

Did you call the hotel, maybe you left it behind in the room. Good luck trying to find it.

Nah, we took it back out as soon as we got there because I didn't need it. But thanks.

[SC_RedskinsFan]

That sounds painful HH.:doh:

[Jumbo]

You might help them identify it by mentioning it has that life-size (when inflated) photo of Shia LaBeouf you had put on it.























:D

[jrockster21]

Man, with all the people who went to Canton, I'm sure we can all pony up $5 or something and get you a replacement. I wouldn't worry about it too much. :)

[Oldskool]

:whoknows: Buy her a new one? :whoknows:

[OVCChairman]

did you call and ask them to check the new hotel they were building next ours? We were over there every night :D

[Teller]

:whoknows: Buy her a new one? :whoknows:

That makes sense to us.

Her?

Not so much. :doh:

[OVCChairman]

That makes sense to us.

Her?

Not so much. :doh:


was there sentimental value involved? Did you guys get married on this thing or something :silly:

[Oldskool]

That makes sense to us.

Her?

Not so much. :doh:

Ah. I see now why she may be an ex. :(

[mojo]

Hate to change the subject, but lost my beer coolie while I was in Myrtle Beach a few weeks back. Has anyone seen it?

[TC4]

Gee that sounds harsh HH

Was/is your ex like in Black Ops or something?

[Teller]

Gee that sounds harsh HH

Was/is your ex like in Black Ops or something?

Nope.

But she scares the **** out of those guys too.

[Ghost of Nibbs McPimpin]

That makes sense to us.

Her?

Not so much. :doh:

Maybe OJ wasn't so bad as he seemed (except the Ron Goldman part, you know.) :silly:

[Teller]

Maybe OJ wasn't so bad as he seemed (except the Ron Goldman part, you know.) :silly:

:laugh:

I'm gonna miss my boys though.

I'll have to call TLC and ask him how much pain I should really expect. ;)

[HogNose]

HH I hope you find that mattress.....:paranoid:

http://www.clevelandleader.com/files/LorenaBobbitJohnBobbit.jpg

[Blondie]

If she wont take a NEW mattress, maybe there is a story to THAT mattress you need to know.

Hmmmm.

[Teller]

If she wont take a NEW mattress, maybe there is a story to THAT mattress you need to know.

Hmmmm.

I haven't even mentioned it to her yet.

I just KNOW her.

[Corcaigh]

Tell her she deserves better so you bought her an upgrade.

[Teller]

Tell her she deserves better so you bought her an upgrade.

Hmm....I like that. :cheers:

[Burgold]

I haven't even mentioned it to her yet.

I just KNOW her.

Don't say anything. Just buy a replacement mattress, but make sure it's a twin and not a queen. When she questions why it looks so small, just give her a sad look and say...

"Gee honey, it's always been that way. Maybe it's time to lose a little weight."

[TK]

Hate to change the subject, but lost my beer coolie while I was in Myrtle Beach a few weeks back. Has anyone seen it?
Ask Halter. :)

[zoony]

$23.79
http://www.target.com/Greatland-Air-Bed-Pump-Blue/dp/B000E82AEW/sr=1-18/qid=1218405381/ref=sr_1_18/602-7150961-7511026?ie=UTF8&index=target&rh=k%3AAir%20Mattress&page=1

It's cheaper than testicle replacement surgery

[Teller]

$23.79
http://www.target.com/Greatland-Air-Bed-Pump-Blue/dp/B000E82AEW/sr=1-18/qid=1218405381/ref=sr_1_18/602-7150961-7511026?ie=UTF8&index=target&rh=k%3AAir%20Mattress&page=1

It's cheaper than testicle replacement surgery

Thanks.

It's kind of a principle thing with her though. Tough to explain.

I was just hoping maybe I could find the person who has it. I tried PMing everybody with no luck.

Kinda one of those "big deal, I got detention......but now I have to go home and tell dad" kinda things. :doh: :laugh:

[Kosher Ham]

Wait...let me get this... you are afraid of your ex wife ?

You sure she doesn't already have your "pair" sitting on the mantle at home ?

[Teller]

Wait...let me get this... you are afraid of your ex wife ?

You sure she doesn't already have your "pair" sitting on the mantle at home ?

I don't enjoy conflict. Especially those that could take place (for no reason) in front of my kids, if that's OK. But thanks. I appreciate your help and concern. :cheers:


Mods, close this please.


**** it.

[MikeInJc aka M.I.A.]

If you have seen said queen size mattress, and/or know where it can be located, please post in this thread.

Jason, the one I was sleeping on and returned to Reic was a twin. I think Bigmike had the QUEEN sized one.

Hmmmmm imagine that, QUEEN seems to fit Bigmike well :laugh:

[Kosher Ham]

I don't enjoy conflict. Especially those that could take place (for no reason) in front of my kids, if that's OK. But thanks. I appreciate your help and concern. :cheers:


Mods, close this please.


**** it.

:laugh: :laugh:

That's why you do it in a public place. Break the news to her easy.

Haven't you heard all this before ?

[SC_RedskinsFan]

http://i250.photobucket.com/albums/gg244/jdabi9700/HamptonCanton.jpg

It is in here HH. :D

[skinfan2k]

http://www.sportsmansguide.com/net/cb/cb.aspx?p=WCOD8&i=130021

just buy that

Sportsman's Guide has Texsport King Size Air Bed for $15 + $5 S/H - $5 coupon SH362 = $15. Thanks Yme001

[IONTOP]

Hate to change the subject, but lost my beer coolie while I was in Myrtle Beach a few weeks back. Has anyone seen it?

Talk to Pez... He's got about 20 of them...

[Tastes Like Chicken]

The last time I saw it, was when we put MIA's big ass cooler in the back of my SUV. To make room for that, we put HH's blowup mattress in MIA's trunk. That, was the last time I saw the mattress.

Reic brought 3- 2 small and one queen. I brought a queen, which was used in the SSM/Warlord/Reic/krabber room. I don't think that HH's mattress ever got used at all.

It either went back with Reic, or it is still at the Hampton Canton.

[MikeInJc aka M.I.A.]

The last time I saw it, was when we put MIA's big ass cooler in the back of my SUV. To make room for that, we put HH's blowup mattress in MIA's trunk. That, was the last time I saw the mattress.

Reic brought 3- 2 small and one queen. I brought a queen, which was used in the SSM/Warlord/Reic/krabber room. I don't think that HH's mattress ever got used at all.

It either went back with Reic, or it is still at the Hampton Canton.

I never opened my trunk when I got home since I didn't put anything in there except my grill (which I definitely get out of there) so it might be in there. I have no recollection of that:doh: , but I will check tomorrow when I go to work.

[CallMeGreen]

Tell her you felt sorry for some down-and-out homeless guy, or a sad little orphan if that works better, and gave it away. Then offer her a new one (that's an upgrade) as someone else had suggested.

[Reic]

I brought a twin and a double, and we used TLC's queen in my room. the twin and double were in TLC's room.

So I guess it was TLC's blowup mattress in the top thingy, hog, sorry.

But alas, MIA may have it in the back of his car.

You still have two days!

[Ax]

Well you see baby, I was taking a tour of the Hall of Fame, when this beautiful woman approached me and said, "I hear you Redskin fans are the best ****ing fans in all of sports!" To which I said, "You got that right!"

"Prove it!" She said.

Well, I just happened to be carrying your blowup mattress at the time, so, we found us a nice place in the back yard of a nearby home, laid out the mattress and..."Damn! I don't have a pump", I said. With that, the pretty little lady grabbed the mattress, and with one breath, blew that sucker up to just short of popping!

Then, it was on! Not only was it fantastic, it was earth moving. Birds were spooked as far as 5 miles away. Dogs and cats barked and meowed in what can only be described as an opera-like symphony of animalistic ecstacy. And, right at the moment of our syncronized orgasmic explosion, I could of sworn that there was a complete electrical power outage!

And, the mattress exploded.

Turns out, the lady in question here, is related to some big wig having to do with the HOF. She called in some favors, and so...

What's left of your mattress, now in tatters, is hanging on the wall inside the Pro Football Hall of Fame. Inscribed below, on a plaque, it simply states...

"Redskin Fans. Best ****ing Fans In All Of Sports!"

[Reic]

Ax, I think you are confused.

He is trying to NOT be castrated :laugh:

[BigMike619]

OK, well this is one big cluster****. the man is asking for help and he gets clowned.

damn I know the feeling Hog thats going on right now. I am sorry that I dont know where it is though and I dont believe the mattress I was on was it. But if you need ANYTHING bro hit me up and I will do what I can.

[Reic]

OK, well this is one big cluster****. the man is asking for help and he gets clowned.

damn I know the feeling Hog thats going on right now. I am sorry that I dont know where it is though and I dont believe the mattress I was on was it. But if you need ANYTHING bro hit me up and I will do what I can.

This is Honorary_Hog on Reic's account, I could use a million dollars, Mike.

[Tastes Like Chicken]

OK, well this is one big cluster****. the man is asking for help and he gets clowned.

damn I know the feeling Hog thats going on right now. I am sorry that I dont know where it is though and I dont believe the mattress I was on was it. But if you need ANYTHING bro hit me up and I will do what I can.

Tell me about it, Mike. I even took the family to the Montgomery County Fair so that Hog could get my blowup mattress at work, but even that didn't work out. :doh:

Jason, I'm buying you an extra cell phone charger for Christmas. :silly:

[the krabber]

Did you check the side of the highway in Breezewood?

[Predicto]

I don't know where your lost blowup mattress is, H_H.

But you left this OTHER blowup thing here last time you hit San Francisco for a party weekend and crashed in my garage.

http://www.imagechicken.com/uploads/1218478466088287000.jpg (http://www.imagechicken.com)

Look. I'm not a judgmental guy, and I don't care what you and your leatherbuddies do when you hit the bathhouses. But you could at least wash off the lube before you bring it into my house. I'd have mailed it back to you but I'm afraid to touch it... :(

[19Skins72]

That makes sense to us.

Her?

Not so much. :doh:


I think I see one reason why she is the 'ex' :D

[TorresA]

Well was it in MIA's car?

[LegionOfDoom]

HH.....very epic thread my friend!!!!!

[Bang]

Two quick words.

"**** her".

Tell her you'll write her a check, tell her you lost it, tell her you did it on purpose, for spite, and what the hell is she going to do about it?
Other than that, the only remaining thing on your list of things to say to her is in the above quotation marks.
BTW, that first word rhymes with "truck".

~Bang

[BigMike619]

Two quick words.

"**** her".

Tell her you'll write her a check, and other than that, the only remaining thing on your list of things to say to her is in the above quotation marks.
BTW, that first word rhymes with "truck".

~Bang

duck her? as in duck her left hook if you say that to her??

:laugh:

[Reic]

Today is judgement day.

What is to become of Jason?

[Burgold]

Well was it in MIA's car?

If it was, I propose we have the Mods change his name officially to MMIA

Missing Mattress Inaction


Hope this worked out better than you feared, Jason.

[MikeInJc aka M.I.A.]

Well was it in MIA's car?

Nope, checked the other day, but forgot to post :doh:

Yes I know, I fail:(

[Kosher Ham]

Leave off the last "S" for savings.

1-800- MATTRES(s)

[DeanCollins]

H_H just tell her it popped the night that you had a number of the cheerleaders over :hump: