Flight Back to Dallas Includes Onboard Incident

[Ghent]

In what was supposed to be an America’s Team cakewalk to the Super Bowl, the Dallas Cowboys will instead watch the post-season from their living room sofas. Thanks to a crushing 44-6 defeat at the hands of the Philadelphia Eagles in the final week of the regular season, the Cowboys promising season is over.

The loss did not sit well with Cowboys players, coaches, and fans. But nobody took the loss harder than the team’s owner Jerry Jones. Jones remained poised in the somber Cowboys locker room after the game offering the Eagles congratulations and stating that Wade Phillips would return as his head coach next season. However, once the team boarded their flight back to Dallas, Jones transformed into hell-spawned monster.

http://www.sportsmansdaily.com/Maniacal_Cowboys_Owner.html

[Grimm]

linky no worky

[JdoubleU]

This will be fun to watch. I think Roy "The WR" Williams was a little too hasty in signing his contract with that team from texas. He'd be better off in Philly....or here.

[nightbird]

Is this even real?

[dachozenone]

I thought this was a serious article about how he ripped into the coaches and players. It is one of those joke articles.

[McNabbOwnsFedEx]

Is this even real?

Of course. I thought it was fake until I read this line

“It was a horror show,” said quarterback Tony Romo, who survived the attacks. “We were just gaining altitude when he (Jones) stood up in first class and his eyes rolled back into his head. Then he ripped off his shirt and lunged at Marion Barber. He plucked the arteries right out of his neck and started chewing them, pausing only momentarily to wash them down with a ginger ale provided by the flight attendant. Then it was on to a healthy slab of Patrick Crayton.”

According to eyewitnesses, four other players – Tank Johnson, Sam Paulescu, Tashard Choice, and possibly Montrae Holland – were devoured in an orderly, workmanlike fashion. Holland’s remains were not confirmed. However the 322 pound guard did not answer repeated pages on the plane’s intercom system.

[J.Campbell17]

Is this even real?

Of course it is :doh:















;)

[G.A.C.O.L.B.]

It made me laugh.

[Terence Newman 41]

Yeah, right. And Grizzly Adams had a beard.

Grizzly Adams *did* have a beard.

[HighOnHendrix]

Too bad the link don't work. I'd have liked to read that. Oh, well, the Onion will probably do a better one soon, anyway.

[nightbird]

Ok hang on now fellas, I asked if it was real because the link didn't work and I've never heard of this "sportsmans daily" outfit.

Didn't get a chance to read it so I was just wondering if anyone saw the whole thing.