Neighbor troubles

[Drop]

ES, i come to you for some suggestions on how to deal with a VERY troublesome neighbor.

Backstory: I moved into my place just a little over 6 months ago, and this guy rented the house in the cul-de-sac, two houses down from me, about a month prior to me moving in. He wasn't there however until about the time i moved in, because he was locked up. This guy comes out and approaches me anytime i'm outside, and he's always drunk. On top of him being a BIG TIME alcoholic, i've also come to learn from HIM, himself, that he also smokes "scotty" (that was the slang he used). Now i'm pretty versed in drug terminology, but i had no clue what that was. My wife and i googled it and it turns out that he's basically saying he freebases crack. So anytime this dude approaches me i try to go inside or keep it short. The first couple times my wife and i met him and his wife, we could tell they were trouble so we tried to keep conversation limited and just mind our own business.

Well, this guy approaches me yesterday afternoon, drunk as usual, wanting me to come over to drink with him and i basically told him, "no thanks, the wife and son aren't feeling well and i really need to help around the house". Well he seemed kinda pissed off, like he was beginning to get the hint that i really wanted nothing to do with him since this is the 3rd or 4th time i've turned him down on this sort of thing.

So he goes home, i go home and that's that. However, at about 7:30 i went out to buy some groceries, well i get a call from the Prince William County Police telling me not to come to my house, because police are showing up to investigate a breaking and entering call that my wife placed. They told me she was on the line with them and she was safe, but that i needed to stay away to avoid confusion amongst the officers on the scene. They didn't want to mistaken me for whoever the call was placed about.

What happened was, my wife put our son to bed at like 7:45 and about 5 minutes later, there was LOUD banging on the door. Not knocking, BANGING. So i'm not home and of course my wife is startled by it. Well, then she heard someone violently twisting on the door knob like they were trying to come in, so that did it for her, she called 911.

Like 10 officers showed up and searched the property, inside and out. My wife, nor I, knew who was knocking at the door until the police went around asking our neighbors if anyone was knocking on their doors too. Well, this retarded crackhead tells the police that it was HIM who was banging on the door. Except he said he didn't beat on the door like my wife said, he said he knocked quietly because he was coming to see how my son was feeling. Mind you, i HARDLY know this guy and would NEVER ask him, expect him, or invite him to come check on my kid. This guy is nothing but trouble, and now my wife is worried that he will try to pull something else being that he's a drunk and most likely pissed that he had the cops all up his ass last night. But come on, he knew my truck wasn't in the driveway and he's banging on the door when it's JUST my wife and son home? Who the hell WOULDN'T call the cops in that situation??

I told one officer on the phone who i spoke to before i was allowed to come back home, that the dude is a real creep and that he's always drunk, and constantly drives up and down the street on a suspended license, WHILE being on probation, and almost always with a can of beer in his hand. I also told the officer at the very least, i don't want him on my property or anywhere near my house or family. Well the one officer said he'd fill out a trespassing warrant and have my wife sign it. Well another officer nixed that idea because of how drunk this guy was, and because apparently, they're familiar with him and didn't think it would be a good idea because it would elevate the situation. I think they were trying to avoid a confrontation with this dude, because according to them, he's been tazed twice in PW County already.

So that pissed me off that they didn't do that for us. They however told us that we could go to the magistrate and get that, or at the very least, see if he'd approach me when he was sober and have me just basically tell him, "look, you stay over there, i'll stay over here, and we'll be cool". So i'm gonna talk to my wife tonight and see if she wants to persue the trespassing warrant. Mind you, this is my neighbor who i KNOW has drug and alcohol problems, and i don't want to cause any more friction than there already is.

The other thing, is that i live RIGHT next door to a police officer, a 1st sergeant in fact. He and his wife came over to see what was wrong and to make sure my wife was alright. My neighbor gave us all his numbers, cell phone included, and told my wife that if she EVER had another problem, to call his cell phone because he can dispatch officers even quicker than 911 can. It definitley feels good to live right next to this guy. And he is a really nice guy, i've talked to him over our fence in the back yard several times.

So anyway, basically my wife is scared and i was wondering if anyone else has had any issues like this they've had to deal with. I'm hoping this guy does something stupid that doesn't affect my family, something like getting caught driving on that suspended license. He and his whole family over there are drug addicts, and i feel bad for the small children that are in that house. Calling CPS has crossed my mind more than once for their sake.

The way the guy drinks, and knowing he's on probation, i'm surprised that's not a violation right there. He's had 3 DUI's, and i know it sounds like i know a lot about this guy i say i hardly know, and that's because he's one of those loudmouths who will tell you everything in the world about himself if he doesn't feel threatened by you. I've literally encountered this guy in the cul-de-sac 5 or 6 times and everytime he tells me stuff about himself that makes my jaw want to drop.

So today my wife is going over to my cop neighbors house to talk to his wife and i think i'll go over there this afternoon myself and let my neighbor know the kind of stuff i've learned about this guy, just so it's out there and there's more to look out for if my neighbor doesn't already know.

Someone may ask, so i'll go ahead and say that i think this guy is drawn towards me and my family because we're a little younger than them, we have a child who's a month apart from their youngest, and he seems to think i'm someone who actually wants to hang out with him despite turning him down on several occasions. This guy has problems and he just doesn't understand "no".

Sorry for the longwinded post, i was just looking for some feedback or suggestions. Thanks ESers.

[Koolblue13]

Quit bogartting the crack or teach the misses how to fire a weapon.

[TrumanB]

Do you know who owns the house that your neighbor is renting? You could anonymously let the owner know that there is illegal drug activity going on. Perhaps the owner doesn't fully know this guy's history. Usually these types of problems resolve themselves only when one of the parties moves - you or him.

[sacase]

time to take the wife to the range.

[BigMike619]

Do you know who owns the house that your neighbor is renting? You could anonymously let the owner know that there is illegal drug activity going on. Perhaps the owner doesn't fully know this guy's history. Usually these types of problems resolve themselves only when one of the parties moves - you or him.

I actually agree with this. it wont be as anonymous as you think but you should go about this legally until it is face to face.

but I would get a shotgun for the house and teach the wife how to shoot.

[No_Pressure]

Get a gun, get a German Shepherd, tell the guy to never set foot on your property again.

[MikeInJc aka M.I.A.]

Do you know who owns the house that your neighbor is renting? You could anonymously let the owner know that there is illegal drug activity going on. Perhaps the owner doesn't fully know this guy's history. Usually these types of problems resolve themselves only when one of the parties moves - you or him.

I'd definitely try to find out who owns the house (the landlord) and let them know about all of the things that have happened and about his admitted drug use. There might be something in the lease the guy signed that can get him evicted.

EDIT: What part of PW county is this? I just moved to PW about 3 months ago.

[d0ublestr0ker0ll]

I believe it is legal for you to have a gun in your glove compartment without a carrying permit in Virgina. Look in to buying a side arm, this guy has now threatened your wife and child.

Pull all stops. Those cops that didn't want to elevate the situation should not deter you at all. I'd rat this guy out faster than Henry did to the Goodfellas.

[skinsfan_1215]

http://www.springfield-armory.com/

http://www.mossberg.com/products/default.asp?id=5&section=products

[Koolblue13]

I'd definitely try to find out who owns the house (the landlord) and let them know about all of the things that have happened and about his admitted drug use. There might be something in the lease the guy signed that can get him evicted.

EDIT: What part of PW county is this? I just moved to PW about 3 months ago.

Why were you banging on his door?

[Koolblue13]

Big Dog, Bigger Gun. Protect yourself first. Ask for help second.

[Chump Bailey]

I'm sorry for your troubles. Our society is just filled to the brim with degenerates just like this idiot. I'm amazed someone would actually allow a person like this to rent from them. I'm equally amazed he is capable of holding down a job that enables him to make payments. You might want to invest in some security enhancements for your home if moving is not an option - perhaps find a nice shelter dog. That might give your wife some comfort when you are not home. Ask your officer neighbor for advice on how best to proceed and good luck.

[Slacky McSlackAss]

I'd definitely try to find out who owns the house (the landlord) and let them know about all of the things that have happened and about his admitted drug use. There might be something in the lease the guy signed that can get him evicted.

EDIT: What part of PW county is this? I just moved to PW about 3 months ago.

Lets just let Reic loose in the guys yard. That'll scare him out of the neighborhood.

[Bang]

Do you know who owns the house that your neighbor is renting? You could anonymously let the owner know that there is illegal drug activity going on. Perhaps the owner doesn't fully know this guy's history. Usually these types of problems resolve themselves only when one of the parties moves - you or him.

This is an excellent suggestion. drop a dime on him to his landlord and let the landlord make trouble for him.
I don't blame you for being nervous. Get a big dog.

~Bang

[Chachie]

I don't have any advice for you but I definitely don't envy your situation. Nothing like a total douchebag thinking you want to be his friend. :(

[Skinz4Life12]

pull a clint eastwood from gran torino

[Redd]

I agree, get a big dog, buy a gun, and try to find some way to let his landlord know he's doing drugs. Somethings wrong with your neighbor and you shouldn't take a risk since you have a family.

[Raub]

Take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.

[Rocky21]

Drop,
I would forgo the trespassing charge for now. I'd talk to the guy man to man and tell him that he has spooked your family and it is best if he doesn't come on your property any more.

If he comes on your property after that, escalate.

[ST is my boy]

Wow man....this is a story I can TOTALLY relate to. Me my girlfriend, my friend and his g/f all found this great HUGE farm house that we loved and decided to all move in together. It was a huge house that was affordable (because there was 4 of us). Well not even a week went by, and this strange guy kept coming over wasted. He was the owner of the property's brother and the owner let him stay in this almost like shack like house that was on the property. We didnt even think anyone lived there.

Well weeks went by and this creep who was constantly drunk, and bringing over pills and asking if we want to do some with him. ANYTIME we went outside he would come out and start some weird drunk/high conversation. It was like he had his ear to the door at all times. We were definitly worried about our girlfriends being there without us, and we never could say anything because he was the owners brother. It was a complete nightmare. I was always embarassed when he would stop by when we had people over "for a ciggarette" or a "beer" when really he just wanted to pop his head in and look around at the people we had over.

Im sorry about your situation....im glad I dont live there anymore. One thing I would like to ask is....how come the cops said you cant come home?

[G.A.C.O.L.B.]

Be a man, talk to him when he's sober, lay out the situation, your concerns, your worries, etc. But don't do it an a snobbish, smug way. Let him know you're not really the partying type, you just work, have a fam, it's not your scene, and that you wouldn't be fun to hang out with anyway.

He's an alcoholic, he has a disease, he probably hates himself, hates his life and doesn't have any friends. So he's lost. Let him now that what he's looking for isn't going to be found with you.

And if by Prince William County you mean Manassas, scrap the above and move.

[TrumanB]

Be a man, talk to him when he's sober, lay out the situation, your concerns, your worries, etc. But don't do it an a snobbish, smug way. Let him know you're not really the partying type, you just work, have a fam, it's not your scene, and that you wouldn't be fun to hang out with anyway.

He's an alcoholic, he has a disease, he probably hates himself, hates his life and doesn't have any friends. So he's lost. Let him now that what he's looking for isn't going to be found with you.

And if by Prince William County you mean Manassas, scrap the above and move.
You're assuming that this guy is reasonable when he's sober. Let's even say that he is. What about the next time he gets drunk and forgets about the "reasonable" conversation you had the day before? Or maybe doesn't forget, but has a different "interpretation" of the conversion now that he's drunk.

I don't know this guy, but the way the OP describes him, the least amount of personal contact with him, the better. If there wasn't a wife and child involved, I would suggest a different approach.

[PleaseBlitz]

I would get your first srgt buddy of yours to try and get him on a 4th DUI. 4 DUI's = lots of jail time if im not mistaken.

[BigMike619]

I would get your first srgt buddy of yours to try and get him on a 4th DUI. 4 DUI's = lots of jail time if im not mistaken.

I agree with this too. Has the cop neighbor had any problems with this guy? Can he be a witness and speak on your behalf as well when this needs to be escalated once again?

[BG]

Man, that is definitely a tough situation.

I would definitely keep your Cop neighbor posted and aware of what is going on there exactly. I think he is your biggest asset with regards to this issue.

Personally, I don't like to get too overzealous and I've lived far from DC for quite some time now, so perhaps this is too easy to suggest, but could you try to talk to him and tell him straight forward, that he really crossed a line? Inform him that you'd like to be a good neighbor and don't want to see anyone get in trouble, but he roused the whole neighborhood, your family, freaked everyone out and worse, he's got a cop across the street with eyes on him all the time.

No need to be friendly or sympathetic, but I think he might respect the situation a bit more if you tell him personally.

I agree also with bumping up security measures. IE: an alarm system...

[Zhouse]

Drop,
I would forgo the trespassing charge for now. I'd talk to the guy man to man and tell him that he has spooked your family and it is best if he doesn't come on your property any more.

If he comes on your property after that, escalate.

I agree with this....like you said in your OP, approach him when he's sober and just have a talk with him. Take it from there

[Drop]

Hey thanks everyone, I appreciate all the responses and suggestions.

i actually left work to go check on the house at lunch, and i wasn't even there 5 minutes when the guy comes knocking on the door. He banged on it pretty hard and then started twisting on the knob, just like my wife said he did last night.

I wasn't about to open the door for this dude so i opened up a window and told him that i wanted him to get off my property, and if he didn't i was going to call the police. He started to act like "well what's the problem man" and i just said, "i don't wanna get into it, i want you to leave now. You need to stay over at your house, and i'll stay at my house, and we won't have anymore problems." So again he's like, "but dude", and then i reached for my phone and he was like "fine man i'm going".

So i don't know if he'll come back, or try anything else, but i at least formally let him know that i don't want him around. My wife is out today, and i get home before she does so i can make sure things are cool when she and my son are coming in.

As some of you mentioned, talking to him when he's sober is what i wanted to do. and i don't think he was drunk yet when i told him to get off my property just a couple hours ago, so hopefully he heeds my warning and stays away. i don't know if this guy is the type that would get drunk and forget what i told him, but i'd be inclined to say that he might, because i had a friend who looked into this dude's criminal record and it's like 5 pages long. Just about everything you can think of on there, so i'm guessing this fool's judgement isn't the greatest.

G.A.C.O.L.B, what you said about him hating himself and having no friends....i'm pretty sure you're dead on about that. which is why i never tried being a jerk to this guy, i just knew i didn't want to associate with him. But yes, i presume that's exactly his problem, no family that likes him, no friends, he's a major a-hole to everyone in his life.

as for a big dog, i have a pitbull mix...she's not very intimidating however, lol. she's more like the sweetest thing in the world. loud bark, but once she meets you once, she's your best friend.

as for informing the landlord, that might not be a bad idea if i could get that information. however the landlord is pretty old from what neighbors have told me, and she actually used to live in the house. when she lived there, her sons were always getting in trouble with drugs and stuff. Two seperate neighbors have told me that that house attracts bad seeds. All three people who have lived there have constantly had problems with the police.

Thanks again for all the helpful insight. I guess i'll just let things lay as they are and see how things go the next few days unless i get home and my wife is still really uncomfortable, then perhaps we'll go to the magistrate. Right now, i feel like he might be smart enough to leave well enough alone. i just hope giving this guy the benefit of the doubt doesn't turn out for the worse.

[BigMike619]

be prepared for something once he gets drunk tonight. he won't listen to what you said today and he will be back and most likely confrontational. i would talk to your cop neighbor now about it and ask him if he can keep an eye out as well as you tonight.

is the guy big or something? not to say I condone violence (which i do) but maybe this next time won't just be a conversation from you to him. if he is drunk he is going to be more aggressive and could end up being violent.

[ST is my boy]

Dude if he is anything like the person I think he is, and the person I dealt with.....you havent heard the last of him. It might take a few days, or even a week. He WILL be back.

[speardog1]

If you don't want to shoot the guy like everyone else suggests, keep a softball or baseball bat by the door just in case. If you're lucky, that's all you should need.

I feel for you though. Mean, drunk people are the worst. Particularly the mentally unstable ones. Props to you though, you have more patience than me. I would have snapped already.

[ljs]

I'll echo about finding out who owns the house...you said he is on probation...call is Probation officer. I'm sure they could violate him back to jail.

[buenosdiaz]

bang his wife...

wait she's a crackhead?

sounds like a sticky situation lol also sounds like it wouldnt be surprising if he ended up back in jail pretty soon...

[PleaseBlitz]

As some of you mentioned, talking to him when he's sober is what i wanted to do. and i don't think he was drunk yet when i told him to get off my property just a couple hours ago, so hopefully he heeds my warning and stays away. i don't know if this guy is the type that would get drunk and forget what i told him, but i'd be inclined to say that he might, because i had a friend who looked into this dude's criminal record and it's like 5 pages long. Just about everything you can think of on there, so i'm guessing this fool's judgement isn't the greatest.


I wouldnt be worried about him getting drunk and FORGETTING what you told him. I'd be worried about him getting drunk and GETTING ANGRY about what you told him. :2cents:

[Skinz4Life12]

what were some of the things on the guys criminal record?

[Drop]

Breaking and entering, assault and battery, 3 DUI's, obstruction of justice, all sorts of traffic violations. about the only things i didn't see were rape and murder. and apparently, according to his crackhead wife, he killed a guy over in Irongate across from Manassas Mall and got away with it due to "self defense". I don't know if it's true or not, but it's what she claims.

[TD_washingtonredskins]

Breaking and entering, assault and battery, 3 DUI's, obstruction of justice, all sorts of traffic violations. about the only things i didn't see were rape and murder. and apparently, according to his crackhead wife, he killed a guy over in Irongate across from Manassas Mall and got away with it due to "self defense". I don't know if it's true or not, but it's what she claims.

Wow...just move!

[buenosdiaz]

haha damnn wtf! thats scary dude

[ST is my boy]

Forget about what all these guys are telling you about resorting to violence. Thats just ridiculous unless you are defending yourself. And could get you into trouble as well. What you did today was definitly what you should have done and might keep him at bay for a while. If he ever does come back.....I would just do more of the same.

[skinsfan_1215]

Breaking and entering, assault and battery, 3 DUI's, obstruction of justice, all sorts of traffic violations. about the only things i didn't see were rape and murder. and apparently, according to his crackhead wife, he killed a guy over in Irongate across from Manassas Mall and got away with it due to "self defense". I don't know if it's true or not, but it's what she claims.

Damn dude. Seriously, if you don't own any firearms, consider it. If you've never shot a gun or whatever, I'm in Fairfax and I wouldn't mind showing you the ropes.

[BigMike619]

Forget about what all these guys are telling you about resorting to violence. Thats just ridiculous unless you are defending yourself. And could get you into trouble as well. What you did today was definitly what you should have done and might keep him at bay for a while. If he ever does come back.....I would just do more of the same.

the problem with this is that you are asking him to live up to rules that this drunk dude may not. you want him to go in with open hands and he could end up with a black eye.

if that guy comes back to your door you need to be prepared for the worst.

[ST is my boy]

the problem with this is that you are asking him to live up to rules that this drunk dude may not. you want him to go in with open hands and he could end up with a black eye.

if that guy comes back to your door you need to be prepared for the worst.

Absolutely be prepared.....but dont use anything unless its a complete last resort. Things could get ugly, the more agressive the OP becomes....and it could put his wife in danger as well.

[Chachie]

Absolutely be prepared.....but dont use anything unless its a complete last resort. Things could get ugly, the more agressive the OP becomes....and it could put his wife in danger as well.


Also- You never know how the law can work against you. Pop this douche with a bat or something and he could end up owning everything you have.

[BigMike619]

Absolutely be prepared.....but dont use anything unless its a complete last resort. Things could get ugly, the more agressive the OP becomes....and it could put his wife in danger as well.

he steps foot on your property and you tell him to leave. he doesnt and you are forced to make him leave.

you call the cops and its just going continue to make him more and more angry.

[Skinz4Life12]

Breaking and entering, assault and battery, 3 DUI's, obstruction of justice, all sorts of traffic violations. about the only things i didn't see were rape and murder. and apparently, according to his crackhead wife, he killed a guy over in Irongate across from Manassas Mall and got away with it due to "self defense". I don't know if it's true or not, but it's what she claims.

WOW. lock up tight brotha

[ST is my boy]

he steps foot on your property and you tell him to leave. he doesnt and you are forced to make him leave.

you call the cops and its just going continue to make him more and more angry.

Something tells me if he comes on his property and he swings a loisville slugger to his dome and knocks him senseless there might be some reprocussions. Reguardless of the situation.

The cops are going to be like "couldnt you have just called us instead of putting him on life support?"

[81artmonk]

I know it sounds harsh, but move. If you can't do that I would work within the law by getting a restraining order and monitoring him and if he does anything threatening call the police.

After enough times, the police will take care of matters being tired of having to come out all the time and handle this guy for being disruptive.

[SC_RedskinsFan]

2 to the chest 1 to the head if he breaks inside of your house, he will not bother you again then. :D


It sounds like this guy is not going to leave you alone, for whatever reason. I would get the trespassing notice put on his ass. That way if he comes back he will got to jail, and that should violate his probation. Good luck.

[Tennessee Ed]

...After enough times, the police will take care of matters being tired of having to come out all the time and handle this guy for being disruptive.

Start with a really good front and back door, that you should have any way. Keep an ordinary item with some heft (flashlight,hammer) near each door. A baseball bat can seem premeditated. Does your dog bark if someone is walking around on your property? If not, get another dog! All that matters is that it barks. Do you have a homeowners association? Share your concerns with your neighbors. These are routine things you can do to give yourself piece of mind.

Once you are confident that your family is secure, take the path of least resistance. Be brief if he tries to have any contact with you. Stay away, and let him put himself back in jail. If he is on your property, call the police. Every time. The police will tire of this very quickly and end it. The squeaky wheel gets the grease.

That being said, if he, or anyone breaks down your door, hit them in the head with your handy nearby hefty item.:hammer: Hard.
You were in fear for your life and just reacted. Good Luck and remember the Boy Scout motto: Be Prepared.

[BigMike619]

Something tells me if he comes on his property and he swings a loisville slugger to his dome and knocks him senseless there might be some reprocussions. Reguardless of the situation.

The cops are going to be like "couldnt you have just called us instead of putting him on life support?"

I had a dude try to come to my door and get in and I came at him with a bat. when the cops came I had the bat sitting right next to the door and the cops said "you did the right thing by calling us" and told me that if he was coming in my place I had the right to defend myself.

Now if you chase him back to his place with the bat and beat him down on his front lawn thats a different story. But busting him in the knee or dome when he is coming thru your front door isnt wrong. Its defending your castle and your family. I will go to jail all day every day before I let some drunk ******* come in and take a risk of my family being injured.