Forehead
January-11th-2010, 12:36 PM
This is probably (okay it is) sexist but I don't care. I am sick and tired of the amount of male nudity that is starting to pop up in films.
Maybe it's my fault. Maybe I was spoiled as a lad, hitting age 12-13 around 1992, right when the cable company offered my father free Cinemax for a few years for some reason or another. Those late night Cinemax movies contributed a lot to my growth and development as a man.;)
What could those movies be counted on? Bare breasts, which were just outstanding to a 12/13 year old. Female butts. And if you caught the right episode of Emmanuelle, maybe even a crotch shot. If Delia Shepard was involved, you could count on a lesbian scene. For you teenage whippersnappers who are scoffing right now, keep in mind that the Internet barely existed in its present form, and we sure as hell didn't have anything faster than dial-up. No, late night Skineman was the way to go in those days.
You grow older. You start dating. Broadband connections and Internet porn render Skinemax obsolete. But there's still that special connection in your heart, and every once in awhile, you flip over to Comcast's free movies section and are delighted to see that they still run things like Cheerleader beach and Gas Pump Girls. You may not watch them, but it's just good to know that those movies still exist somewhere.
Things were just fine the way they were. But now, what the hell is going on in Hollywood. First, Boogie Nights tests the waters with that fake Mark Wahlberg scene. Then, Borat assaults my eyes with his naked wrestling with another man. Next, my wife and I watch "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" and though I was forewarned, there was way too much of that guy from "How I Met your Mother" in there.
Yesterday, we decide to finally watch the Hangover, in no small part because people have been raving about it here. So I'm greeted with male ass for the first ten minutes, but Heather Graham sort of saves the day. We laugh, we think the movie is funny, then a naked asian guy jumps out of a trunk. Bam!!! More full frontal, even if this was one actor who probably should have declined the role. I tried to get over it, laughed some more, and then, during the end credits, am I really being treated to photos of an old lady going down on the pudgy dude? Seriously, that was necessary?
No, I won't have anymore of this. Men are disgusting naked, women are beautiful. They need to cut this **** out and get back to what made movies with nudity good, the female aspect. They need to take a cue from Shannon Tweed, Shannon Whirry, and all the rest from the late night Hall of Fame. To understand that this industry, nay, this entire country, was founded upon the premise of life, liberty, and the pursuit of female T&A.
Thank you for your time.
Maybe it's my fault. Maybe I was spoiled as a lad, hitting age 12-13 around 1992, right when the cable company offered my father free Cinemax for a few years for some reason or another. Those late night Cinemax movies contributed a lot to my growth and development as a man.;)
What could those movies be counted on? Bare breasts, which were just outstanding to a 12/13 year old. Female butts. And if you caught the right episode of Emmanuelle, maybe even a crotch shot. If Delia Shepard was involved, you could count on a lesbian scene. For you teenage whippersnappers who are scoffing right now, keep in mind that the Internet barely existed in its present form, and we sure as hell didn't have anything faster than dial-up. No, late night Skineman was the way to go in those days.
You grow older. You start dating. Broadband connections and Internet porn render Skinemax obsolete. But there's still that special connection in your heart, and every once in awhile, you flip over to Comcast's free movies section and are delighted to see that they still run things like Cheerleader beach and Gas Pump Girls. You may not watch them, but it's just good to know that those movies still exist somewhere.
Things were just fine the way they were. But now, what the hell is going on in Hollywood. First, Boogie Nights tests the waters with that fake Mark Wahlberg scene. Then, Borat assaults my eyes with his naked wrestling with another man. Next, my wife and I watch "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" and though I was forewarned, there was way too much of that guy from "How I Met your Mother" in there.
Yesterday, we decide to finally watch the Hangover, in no small part because people have been raving about it here. So I'm greeted with male ass for the first ten minutes, but Heather Graham sort of saves the day. We laugh, we think the movie is funny, then a naked asian guy jumps out of a trunk. Bam!!! More full frontal, even if this was one actor who probably should have declined the role. I tried to get over it, laughed some more, and then, during the end credits, am I really being treated to photos of an old lady going down on the pudgy dude? Seriously, that was necessary?
No, I won't have anymore of this. Men are disgusting naked, women are beautiful. They need to cut this **** out and get back to what made movies with nudity good, the female aspect. They need to take a cue from Shannon Tweed, Shannon Whirry, and all the rest from the late night Hall of Fame. To understand that this industry, nay, this entire country, was founded upon the premise of life, liberty, and the pursuit of female T&A.
Thank you for your time.