ESPNN NFCEastBlog: Stephen Bowen mourns the loss of his son

[B55Green]

Link: http://espn.go.com/blog/nfceast/post/_/id/29404/stephen-bowen-mourns-the-loss-of-his-son


Wow. You never know what's really going on in people's lives, especially in the corners in which only they and their loved ones spend their most private time. And when those people are professional athletes, it becomes very easy to ignore their off-field lives while we focus on what we feel they should be doing on the field.

Today's gut-punch example of this phenomenon is Stephen Bowen, the former Dallas Cowboys defensive end who signed with the Washington Redskins in free agency. As Joseph White of the Associated Press reports (http://www.dailyjournal.net/view/story/2b3ed5ecc8cc4e13ab6afefbcdc61196/FBN--Redskins-Bowens-Burden/), Bowen's wife, Tiffany, gave birth to twin sons, Skyler and Stephen III, on June 28. The babies were born four months premature. Skyler died 10 days later. Stephen III is still in the hospital. Stephen II is in Ashburn, Va., while his wife and 21-month-old daughter remain at home in Dallas, watching the baby get better little by little:

"Things are a lot better," Bowen said this week in an interview with The Associated Press following a Redskins practice. "It's still hard. I still think about the son we lost every day. He was just an inspiration for us. While he was here, he was fighting every day to try to be here for us. So the least I can do is just work my butt off and try to be the best football player I can be."
Kind of makes all those worries about adjusting to a new defense and whether the Redskins can win more than six games this year seem a little less significant. We do tend to outsize our concerns about our sports teams and the players who play on them. If remembering this story makes you a little less inclined to yell or curse at Stephen Bowen the next time he makes a mistake on the field, I think that'd be a fine thing.

Meanwhile, I'm going to go pick my two boys up from camp, and maybe hug them a little extra tight.


Sad story.

[Dallsux]

Wow. I pray for blessings on his family. Sad situation. I'm glad he's a Redskin now. That's gotta be tough to deal with.

Prayin' for ya Stephen, & your family.

[Champskins]

Thats just terrible. Prayers and blessings for the Bowen family! Glad to have you here with our 'Skins family. You will be appreciated

[mcarey032]

Link: http://espn.go.com/blog/nfceast/post/_/id/29404/stephen-bowen-mourns-the-loss-of-his-son




Sad story.

My son was born 3 1/2 mos premature. He barely made it. I can totally relate to stephen bowen. We lost our first son. Losing your child and watch your child struggle for life and death gives you a lot of perspective. Watching my son struggle for life made me appreciate every day more with him and respect the power of GOD. You become truly humbled by an experience like that.

[RFK Lives]

Very sad story. I have no doubt that he is working his butt off. It easy to forget and wish for his success for our selfish reasons of being Redskins fan but now I can hope and pray for his success for other reasons. Best to Mr. Bowen and his family.

---------- Post added August-9th-2011 at 03:19 PM ----------


My son was born 3 1/2 mos premature. He barely made it. I can totally relate to stephen bowen. We lost our first son. Losing your child and watch your child struggle for life and death gives you a lot of perspective. Watching my son struggle for life made me appreciate every day more with him and respect the power of GOD. You become truly humbled by an experience like that.I can't even begin to imagine! Best to you and yours mcarey.

[LetThePointsSoar]

Humbling. Praying for you and your family Stephen. You're a part of Redskins Nation now, and we're a family that sticks together.

Hail.

[TheMatt28]

Prayers to Stephen Bowen and his family.


My son was born 3 1/2 mos premature. He barely made it. I can totally relate to stephen bowen. We lost our first son. Losing your child and watch your child struggle for life and death gives you a lot of perspective. Watching my son struggle for life made me appreciate every day more with him and respect the power of GOD. You become truly humbled by an experience like that.

That takes a lot of courage for you and your family. Good luck to your family.

[Boston Skins]

Terrible... Keeping the Bowen family in my thoughts and prayers.

['Skins_&_'Stons]

Regardless of age, no parent should EVER have to bury the child. My thoughts & prayers go out to his family.

[WhoRUSupposed2Be]

Man, Idk where I'd be right now had I lost my son especially with him being a first-born.

My sincerest regard to Mr. Bowens and his family. It isn't easy being a father but it is even harder losing a son.

[DC9]

Stephen and Mrs. Bowen, we are keeping your family in our thoughts and prayers. I only wish my family could offer more.

[Popeman38]

Man, Idk where I'd be right now had I lost my son especially with him being a first-born.

My sincerest regard to Mr. Bowens and his family. It isn't easy being a father but it is even harder losing a son.It is not an experience anyone should have to go through. I lost my first born son at 5 months and 11 days. Trust me though, when I say that you do what you have to do to survive. Some good, some bad. It without a doubt changes your perspective on everything. I used to live and die with the Skins. Now, they are my outlet. I use games as therapy, my release of everything during the week. I imagine Mr Bowen will channel his release through the OT across from him.

My thoughts and prayers are with the Bowen family. It's been 7 years 17 days for me.

[Rufus T Firefly]

Saw that story earlier. Can't even imagine how hard it would be to cope with that.

Even if he was still a Cowboy, Bowen would have my best wishes right now.

[DCchillin89]

Makes you realize this is just a game. Glad that Stephen did join the Redskins fam as he and his family will be embraced during this tough time.

[Taylor 36]

The thought of any man or woman having to watch helplessly their child fight to survive is beyond heartbreaking. I have two children, a daughter and a son, and can't imagine having to go through that. Reading stories like this not only makes me feel for the family members, but also helps me to remember how lucky and blessed I truly am. I hope and pray that Bowen's son makes a full recovery from his premature birth, and I pray for anyone else out there that is or has gone through an experience like this.

[Santana_89]

My son was born 3 1/2 mos premature. He barely made it. I can totally relate to stephen bowen. We lost our first son. Losing your child and watch your child struggle for life and death gives you a lot of perspective. Watching my son struggle for life made me appreciate every day more with him and respect the power of GOD. You become truly humbled by an experience like that.

My prayers go out to you Mcarey and The Bowen family.

[bedlamVR]

I am sorry - skip past this post - not football related -

My son is with me every day - we went through years of IVF and stress and worry and in 2007 i found out we were finally pregnant - well my wife was - then the day after the 28 week scan my wife had discomofort went into the emergency room waited 2 hours to see a doctor - then when one came she barely spoke english ( polish - yay! go NHS) she got scarred and insted of actually doing something let us wait another 6 hours to see a consultant who told my wife that there was nothing they could do because her membranes were poking through her cervix (not really sure - kind of black out that conversation but i know what it is to have your heart drop through the floor) - although as we have heard later many doctors would have given her a savior stitch - our doctor thought it best just to let nature take its course and we waited 12 more hours just waiting for our baby to die .

No body did anything - no one tried to do anything - the worst moment of my life was seeing my little boy - and he did look like a little boy - try to gasp for breath with no one giving him a chance - When the post mortum came back and there was nothing wrong with him at all he was not deformed or diseased in any way just far far too early the attention turned to my wife and talk of an incompetent cervix and never being able to carry a child to term .

What made it worse was the attitude of the doctors afterward . One of the doctors released his body as surgical waste initally because before i think 30 weeks they are not classed as babies in the UK and it was only because one of the midwives stopped it we were able to bury him .. as things became clear after the event and there were things that could have been done - but wernt made me angry for a long time - it nearly killed my wife and i was down for a long time- it was very close to finishing us as a couple... but things turned around ....

Two of our consultants really helped we were able to take steps to go the IVF route again - we went through a terrifying 9 months but at the end of it all we ended up with a wonderful little girl Twyla.... so the darkest nights sometimes do become the most beautiful mornings ....

[Hitman21ST]

My son was born 3 1/2 mos premature. He barely made it. I can totally relate to stephen bowen. We lost our first son. Losing your child and watch your child struggle for life and death gives you a lot of perspective. Watching my son struggle for life made me appreciate every day more with him and respect the power of GOD. You become truly humbled by an experience like that.

It wasn't my child, but one of my sister's daughters was born about 4 months premature, and passed away after 2 days. The docs did a great thing in letting my sister and her husband hold the baby once it became known that she wouldn't survive.

I'm going to hug my two sons a little tighter tonight, too.

Prayers to the Bowen family and Stephen III

[TheShredder]

Sorry for your loss. There are more important things in life than football. We just try to find some relief from our own suffering in life through football. As a man that has suffered with his son as his mother slowly died from breast cancer over 2 years, I can attest to finding something that you're thankful for. Mr. Bowen has the opportunity to live on through adversity and suffering. I'm hoping he find the strength and character to give when other men would lie down. I will be watching him closer than before as this story will not be forgotten on any given Sunday. As Mr. Bowen succeeds and turns out the best year of his career in 2011, we will all know now what that truly means. You can conquer suffering by prevailing where others would not.

[Chris Worthy]

Very touching story that put things in perceptive everyday. From your extended Redskins family to you and the Bowen family, thoughts and prayers.

[Bobbyst21]

Damnit,not the kind of story i was hoping to see.Been thinking about the child me and my ex lost all day....
My heart is heavy and goes out to the Bowen family.And anyone else whos lives have been turned upside down......I dont really know what im trying to say.Forgive me.
I feel your pain Stephen.

[LD0506]

Just heartbreaking, the story of Bowen's son and some of the other posts in this thread just lay an icy finger on my soul. Our son had his iffy moments before he was born, nothing compared to any of these, but enough that I know what it is to hold your breath for weeks on end waiting for the shoe to drop.

Sincerest condolences and prayers to the Bowens, and to all others facing this dreadful situation.

[lazarus0280]

Thoughts and prayers go out to you and yours Mr. Bowen.

Curious guys, if we wanted to send Bowen a care package, what address would we send it to at Redskins Park so that he'd recieve it? Thanks in advance for the responses.

[iMeast]

I can't even imagine. Prayers, good vibes, love and general happy thoughts being sent his way.
HTTR

[Vilandil Tasardur]

Thoughts and prayers go out to you and yours Mr. Bowen.

Curious guys, if we wanted to send Bowen a care package, what address would we send it to at Redskins Park so that he'd recieve it? Thanks in advance for the responses.
I was just coming to ask the same question. Could we as a Redskins nation coordinate some sort of mass sympathy card mailing? I know we did similar things when Sean passed and when Reed's little boy was in danger.

There has to be someway we could organize something. Everybody buy 1 get well/sympathy card and send it to redskins park. Maybe make a sticky with the appropriate mailing address and such?

Edit: I want the guy to feel welcome here; he's part of our family. I hope Mike has given him the green light on as much time off as possible.

[stevemcqueen1]

That's heartbreaking. I hope he's doing well. I'm glad we signed him, and not just because he's a good player. He sounds like a good dude.

[Chachie]

I just visited Children's Hospital in DC to go see my buddy's newborn grandson as that child was fighting for his life due to birth complications. My friend and his daughter (the baby's mother) were stressed, worried, exhausted, and desperate for some good news. That baby is still clinging to life. My heart goes out to Bowen and his family for their situation. So sad. :(

[Mad Mike]

Brutal. Best wishes to the Bowen family.

[Dondrae474]

I'm praying for Stephen. Football definitely is less significant when stacked against personal events like these.

[ArmchairRedskin]

That's a sad story. I can't imagine how hard something like that must be.

[mcarey032]

Thanks to everyone who has wished thoughts and prayers to my son and prayers and good wishes go out to all who have lost their children on the board as well.

My son Sean was in @ the Georgetown NICU for 141 days of his life. He was 1 lbs. 9oz. He was named Sean because my first son Ryan was born the day after Sean Taylor died. I thought it would be nice for us to name him Sean instead of Ryan. What I learned was you don't ask to change things when a woman is in the midst of giving birth. she said,"WE ARE NOT CHANGING THE NAME! IF WE HAVE ANOTHER BOY, WE WILL NAME HIM SEAN!"

We found out we were having another boy on our third child (We lost our very first child due to complications 15 weeks). So Sean Patrick was his name. I get a call in May in 2009 from wife who was working at home. She called me and told me that she was experiencing some minor bleeding and she was going to walk to the hospital (Only live 2 blocks from VA. Hospital Center). I told her that I would meet her there ( I only work 2 min from the hospital).

Right when I am leaving for the hospital, I get a call from her panicked saying that I need to get there right away. I wondered what had happened? She was fine when she called before and now there was real change in her. I get to the labor and delivery ward and she is in the bed in major pain. The doctor told me that they were going to try and keep the baby in, but there was a real possibility that the baby was going to be coming. I said "Yeah that doesn't sound right." The doctor said that the baby was going to have to come out because Sean's life was in danger and so was her's. (She suffered a placenta abruption.)

They did an emergency C section and Sean Patrick Carey was born on 5-21-09. The doctors then told me that they couldn't keep him at Arlington and that he would have to go to Georgetown or Fairfax. We chose Georgetown. The next 4 1/2 months were filled with PDA ligation (Heart surgery to close a duct in his heart so that blood would stop shunting into his lungs). He suffered a Grade 4 bleed, which would put most adults in a coma. 3 weeks after his heart surgery, he suffered a popped lung and the other lung collapsed (July 2nd). 3 weeks later after July 2nd, the doctor's tried to get him off the ventilator and it didn't take that day. The next day he self extubated (He pulled the ventilator out on his own).

Sean is continuing to make progress. He is a living walking miracle. Yes he suffers from mild Cerebral Palsy and has hearing loss, but he is a fighter. I truly believe that god made it possible. Many people were praying for him and supporting us at the most vulnerable time in our lives.

I really pray for Stephen Bowen. I pray that god gives family and son the strength to make it through this extremely difficult time. I also pray for all those who have lost their children.

[NewCliche21]

I can't imagine. I don't want to pretend that I could and taint that experience. My thoughts and prayers are all that I can give.

[Ashburn Dave]

Very tragic and our prayers go out to you and your family. Gotta be even tougher that you're here in VA while your family is back in Dallas.

[Tarantula]

My son was born 3 1/2 mos premature. He barely made it. I can totally relate to stephen bowen. We lost our first son. Losing your child and watch your child struggle for life and death gives you a lot of perspective. Watching my son struggle for life made me appreciate every day more with him and respect the power of GOD. You become truly humbled by an experience like that.

Sorry for your loss. I can't imagine anything worse than losing a child.

My thoughts are with you and the Bowen family.

[grego]

i've got a 3 year old son. cant imagine how anyone deals with this. God bless him.

[RyansRangers]

I had a similiar experience to Mcarey32.. my son was born 12 weeks early due to sudden rare pregnancy disease for my wife.. My son was clinging to life for 8 weeks in the NICU before stabalizing and moving to special care nursery.. I have been through a lot of stress and worry in my life but nothing compares to having a premature child in the NICU the worry, stress, sadness gut wrenching helplessness.

Having said that I cannot begin to imagine what it would be like to have lost my son as Mr Bowen did.... Not parent should ever have to bury thier child. There are no words to say how sorry I am that he and others have to go through that experience and I give them a lot of credit for finding the will to go on and live life..

I have had a lot of lifechangin moments but having to go through watching my son struggle to stay alive every day in an incubator and not being able to hold him for weeks is by far the hardest thing Ive had to do..

[OxonHillSkinsFan89]

Sending prayers to the Bowen family and anyone who has been affected by the loss of a child.

[gbear]

I know it's not what anyone wants to hear when they are in the midst of these moments, but I will always think of what a Navy Seal instructor told me when he found out about my MS and what my wife and I do fostering medically fragile kids. I had just told him the story about my daughter covering one of my eyes as I picked her up, allowing me to realize double vision is cured by closing one eye and no matter what life throws our way we can go forward together.

He said, "In all his years of training, he has never seen anyone come through the toughest of trainings, his seal training, without a history of major personal loss. It's only through developing the toughness to go on inspite of the worst that life can throw, that one develops the toughness and trust needed to survive and thrive under the harshest of conditions." I think about that quote a lot with regards to my family and with regards to stories like the ones in this thread. May all who go through these trials find themselves strengthened. Still, I know it seems so little to get back for the losses...

[Boss_Hogg]

wow, he carries himself so professionally. You never would have known.

Redskins Nation has your back Stephen, we will be praying for you and your family.

[AzSkinsFan63]

I am so sorry for your loss Stephen. You are in our prayers here.

[SwampEm]

This is the worst thing that can happen to anybody. How horrible.

[Blue Collar Skins]

Prayers for him and his family. That is so tough for a father to go through. So sad.

[Boss_Hogg]

Update on Stephen's Other Son Who remains hospitalized.


Defensive end Stephen Bowen said his wife, daughter and infant son will join him soon in Northern Virginia. His son, born June 28, has been hospitalized after being born premature. His twin died 10 days later. But Stephen III now weighs 4 ?? pounds. His father has held him only once. But he's encouraged by his son's progress. "I can't even put it into words, it's a good feeling," Bowen said. "It takes a load off. I'm not worried about him every day. ... Some days were good and some days were bad, but now he's trying to stabilize."

Read more at the Washington Examiner: http://washingtonexaminer.com/sports/nfl/2011/08/redskins-cut-receiver-kelly#ixzz1WcvWMT8l

I'm glad that he'll be reunited with his family soon. NOVA is a great place to raise a family.