Democratic National Committee agenda

[Sarge]

Good one floating around the internet

6:00pm - Opening flag burning ceremony.
> 6:30pm - Anti-war rally no. 1.
> 6:40pm - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
> 7:00pm - Tribute theme to France.
> 7:10pm - Collect offerings for al-Zawahri defense fund.
> 7:25pm - Tribute theme to Spain.
> 7:45pm - Anti-war rally no. 2. (Moderated by Michael Moore)
> 8:25pm - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
> 8:30pm - Terrorist appeasement workshop.
> 9:00pm - Gay marriage ceremony.
> 9:30pm - * Intermission *
> 10:00pm - Flag burning ceremony no. 2.
> 10:15pm - Re-enactment of Kerry's fake medal toss.
> 10:30pm - Cameo by Dean 'Yeeearrrrrrrg!'
> 10:40pm - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
> 10:50pm - Pledge of allegiance to the UN.
> 11:00pm - Double gay marriage cermony.
> 11:15PM - Maximizing Welfare workshop.
> 11:30pm - 'Free Saddam' pep rally.
> 11:59PM - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
> 12:00pm - Nomination of democratic candidate
>
>

[Buford]

you didn't cry about Clinton (even though he isn't running) once in that whole post.

Good Job!

[Johnny Punani2]

Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

lmfao

[Cskin]

One's missing... the "Why the hate us and what we've done to deserve it" seminar.

[TheKurp]

Somewhere buried in that agenda was "Job Fair for Illegal Mexican Immigrants".

However the Democrats figured that was more apropos for the Republican Convention.

[Destino]

better versions edited by ME!


2004 DNC Convention Official Program
(This is probably very far off but who cares!)

6:00pm - Opening <s>flag burning</s> ceremony free speech.
6:15pm - Opening speech on the evils of prayer
6:30pm - Anti-war concert by Barbra Streisand and Bono.
6:40pm - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast and realizes he isn't wearing any pants.
7:00pm - Tribute theme to France
7:10pm - Collect offerings for al-Zawahri defense fund.
7:25pm - Tribute theme to Germany.
7:45pm - <s>socialist</s> Anti-war rally
8:25pm - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast with his pants on backwards
8:30pm - <s>Terrorist appeasement</s> Diplomacy workshop.
9:00pm - How to oppose gay marriage but do nothing to stop it workshop.

9:30pm - break for intern lap dancing

10:00pm - Posting the Iraqui Colors by Sean Penn and Tim Robbins
10:10pm - Re-enactment of Kerry's fake medal toss.
10:20pm - Cameo by Dean 'Yeeearrrrrrrg!'
10:30pm - Abortion demonstration by N.A.R.A.L.
10:40pm - Ted Kennedy presents his own homemade whiskey attempts to sell it to those present.
10:50pm - Pledge of allegiance to the UN, NATO, and the EU.
11:00pm - Multiple gay marriage ceremony (threesomes, mixed and same sex).
11:15PM - Maximizing Welfare workshop.
11:30pm - 'Free Saddam' buttons handed out.
11:59PM - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast for those who bought his home made hooch
12:00pm - Let the hispanics in for pictures
12:01pm - Escort the hispanics out
12:05pm - Nomination of democratic candidate.



2004 RNC Convention Official Program
5:50pm: Wrestle past the 50k protestors
6:00pm: Opening flag-raising ceremony
6:05pm: Singing of America the Beautiful
6:08pm: Singing of God Bless America
6:11pm: The Pledge of Allegiance, with extra emphasis on "under God"
6:15pm: Opening prayer by Jerry Falwell, followed by a speach on how gays and feminists caused 9/11
6:20pm: Air Force flyby
6:25pm: Another round of God Bless America
6:30pm: Opening pro-America concert by Lee Greenwood
7:00pm: Tribute to Great Britain
7:10pm: Collect offerings for the Halliburton Defense Fund (otherwise known as the Bush reelection committee)
7:20pm: Tribute to Bob Jones for his moral fiber
7:30pm: NRA rally
8:00pm: Roundtable on "America, Land of Opportunity" featuring Ken Lay who will be signing autographs
8:30pm: Another rendition of God Bless America for those who arrived late (those too scared to face the protestors)
8:35pm: Tax shelter workshop
8:45pm: 'How to complain about taxes you don't pay and seem sincere' workshop
9:00pm: Workshop on how to discriminate against gays by pretending to defend families.

9:30pm: break for cuban cigars and whiskey

10:00pm: A salute to Israel
10:15pm: remarks by satellite with Ariel Sharon
10:25pm: Burning of Arafat in effigy
10:35pm: Pro-life rally
10:45pm: Pro-death penalty rally
10:50pm: A refresher singing of "God Bless America"
11:00pm: How 9/11 saved the GOP video
11:10pm: Moving tribute to our troops and how to draft some more
11:15pm: Tribute to Illegal Immigrants
11:25pm: Dealing with pansy-assed socialist countries (we're talking about you, Spain!)
11:30pm: Tribute to Antonin Scalia
11:45pm: Patriot Act pep rally
11:55pm: Let the blacks come in the room for pictures
12:00pm: Escort the blacks out
12:01am: Nomination of Republican candidate

[phishhead]

Very nicely done, Destino!

11:55pm: Let the blacks come in the room for pictures <---Thats f*cking hilarious! :laugh:

[chomerics]

Originally posted by Destino
better versions edited by ME!

2004 RNC Convention Official Program
5:50pm: Wrestle past the 50k protestors
6:00pm: Opening flag-raising ceremony
6:05pm: Singing of America the Beautiful
6:08pm: Singing of God Bless America
6:11pm: The Pledge of Allegiance, with extra emphasis on "under God"
6:15pm: Opening prayer by Jerry Falwell, followed by a speach on how gays and feminists caused 9/11
6:20pm: Air Force flyby
6:25pm: Another round of God Bless America
6:30pm: Opening pro-America concert by Lee Greenwood
7:00pm: Tribute to Great Britain
7:10pm: Collect offerings for the Halliburton Defense Fund (otherwise known as the Bush reelection committee)
7:20pm: Tribute to Bob Jones for his moral fiber
7:30pm: NRA rally
8:00pm: Roundtable on "America, Land of Opportunity" featuring Ken Lay who will be signing autographs
8:30pm: Another rendition of God Bless America for those who arrived late (those too scared to face the protestors)
8:35pm: Tax shelter workshop
8:45pm: 'How to complain about taxes you don't pay and seem sincere' workshop
9:00pm: Workshop on how to discriminate against gays by pretending to defend families.

9:30pm: break for cuban cigars and whiskey

10:00pm: A salute to Israel
10:15pm: remarks by satellite with Ariel Sharon
10:25pm: Burning of Arafat in effigy
10:35pm: Pro-life rally
10:45pm: Pro-death penalty rally
10:50pm: A refresher singing of "God Bless America"
11:00pm: How 9/11 saved the GOP video
11:10pm: Moving tribute to our troops and how to draft some more
11:15pm: Tribute to Illegal Immigrants
11:25pm: Dealing with pansy-assed socialist countries (we're talking about you, Spain!)
11:30pm: Tribute to Antonin Scalia
11:45pm: Patriot Act pep rally
11:55pm: Let the blacks come in the room for pictures
12:00pm: Escort the blacks out
12:01am: Nomination of Republican candidate




Too funny!!!

:notworthy

[codeorama]

Both lists are funny as hell...

[chomerics]

Originally posted by codeorama
Both lists are funny as hell...

True, but Destino get's a A for originality.

[luckydevil]

"11:55pm: Let the blacks come in the room for pictures
12:00pm: Escort the blacks out"

:laugh:

[chomerics]

Destino, do you mind if I pass this along via e-mail?

I got three of the DNC e-mails today, I think they'd appreciate a RNC e-mail.

[Destino]

Originally posted by chomerics
Destino, do you mind if I pass this along via e-mail?

I got three of the DNC e-mails today, I think they'd appreciate a RNC e-mail.
Mail away.

[Sarge]

aside from the "blacks in the room thing" which was evidently thought of by a liberal, it looks good to me

[Sarge]

Originally posted by Bufford 3.0
you didn't cry about Clinton (even though he isn't running) once in that whole post.

Good Job!

It would have to have said "Break for hummer with intern" for Klinton to be on it:D