What's your "go to" Joke (wrong forum! hook a brotha up mods!)

So, when you got to reach down deep and tell a good joke, which one do you go to?

This is new in my bullpen, but I get good laughs and have the routine down real well ... I kill'em with this.

Quote:

---

A soldier meets a pirate in a bar, and the talk turns to their adventures. The soldier notes that the pirate has a peg leg, a hook and an eye patch.

"How did you end up with a peg leg?" he asks.

The pirate replies, "I was swept overboard into a school of sharks. As my men were pulling me out, a shark bit my leg off."

"Wow!" says the soldier. "What about your hook?"

"Well," answers the pirate, "we were boarding a ship when one of the enemy hacked off my hand."

"Incredible. How’d you get the eye patch?"

"A seagull crapped in my eye," the pirate replies.

"You lost your eye to a bird crapping in it?"

"Well," says the pirate, "it was my first day with the new hook."

---

:pfft:

KNock, knock.....

How many _______ does it take to ________?