Pre-nup or no pre-nup

[hokie4redskins]

After seeing a couple marriages of friends hit the fan and reading a fellow poster's situation with the wife, I wanna ask what you all feel about a pre-nup.

Marriage is hard and I've seen people get juked financially in a divorce, but asking the person you love to sign a pre-nup has GOTTA be awkward.

"Yeah baby, I love you, but just in case it doesn't work out, and I have a feeling it might not, sign on the dotted line."

Jeez. That's what it sounds like anyways, but isn't protecting yourself smart?

Do you HAVE to get a lawyer for a pre-nup or can you just type something up in Word and keep for your records? I can't believe I'm even thinking about this because I need a fiancee first, but just curious.

[herrmag]

If you're thinking about getting a pre-nup, it's my opinion that you shouldn't even bother getting married. Marriage is hard work (or so I hear), and if you don't commit from the very beginning that you will never give up on it, then most likely it will never work out.

[dreamingwolf]

I would suggest to just choose your wife carefully, and dont do anything that would give her the cause for divorce( like adultry or abuse). Ive heard that even a finely crafted pre-nup by a lawyer can be thrown out come a trial, so its probably not worth it. Although I think the power of a pre-nup differs from state to state and honestly Im not sure of about virginia.

[hokie4redskins]

I see what you're saying but I don't agree. My buddy's was trying to make it work out but his wife wasn't having any of it, just wanted out. He had suspicions she was cheating but couldn't prove it in court. Now he's into her for 40% of his salary.

In the immortal words of Chris Rock,

"If you make 10 million and you wife wants half, you ain't starvin', but if you make 30 THOUSAND and your wife want fifteen, YOU MIGHT HAVE TO KILL HER!"

[flyingtiger1013]

If you ever have kids and get divorced it really doesn't matter. She's gonna get mega money from you anyway. It's hard to get alimony in Virginia unless you are a total f-up. I've been divorced twice (yes twice) and they couldn't get a dime from me in alimony. But you do have to split everything you bought since the marriage between you. Since I had kids with both wives, they got a considerable amount of money from me every month (still do) and we split our common belongings except for what was needed or belonged to the kids.

Just remember when the preacher asks you "do you take this woman" that if the marriage goes south, she'll be taking you.

[dreamingwolf]

you got me thinkin about it and I found this site

http://www.legalhelpmate.com/prenup/...agreement.aspx

seems like a good site on prenups for va

[Riggo-toni]

A far better option is to stay single.

[iheartskins]

If you do want to write a pre-nup and you want to go about it without getting your future spouse upset, make sure the timing is right--i.e., not the night before the wedding. Also check out this book: Prenups for Lovers: A Romantic Guide to Prenuptial Agreements.

[jbooma]

If you ask a women for a prenup then it tells the future wife, i love you and all but don't want you touching my stuff, and also shows you don't think it will last

pick a better woman and don't sign a prenup

[hokie4redskins]

So anything you bought before the marriage is off-limits in case of divorce or is everything pre-marriage fair game?

[chomerics]

Originally posted by jbooma
If you ask a women for a prenup then it tells the future wife, i love you and all but don't want you touching my stuff, and also shows you don't think it will last

pick a better woman and don't sign a prenup

or better yet, don't get married.

That is unless you are completely honest with her. . . Tell her, hey you know I love you, but I love my stuff more. And if this marriage doesn't work out, I want to keep my stuff. I just don't trust you enough not to take my stuff away from me.

If she still wants to marry you, then either you have found the impossible women, or you should run like hell.

[jbooma]

Originally posted by hokie4redskins
So anything you bought before the marriage is off-limits in case of divorce or is everything pre-marriage fair game?

everything should be fair game, however everyone should also KNOW the person they are marrying, their goals, ambitions, dreams, plans, etc...

if you marry someone then find out they don't want kids, well that is a problem, if you marry someone and then find out they only care about a career or want to live in the country, then that is a problem.

Once you introduced the thought of a marriage not working by asking for a prenup, then there is no chance the marriage will last.

[chomerics]

Originally posted by hokie4redskins
So anything you bought before the marriage is off-limits in case of divorce or is everything pre-marriage fair game?

Yes, by marrying a woman, you are in effect allowing her to own your stuff. If you don't like it, then don't get married.

[SkinsNut73]

Originally posted by jbooma
If you ask a women for a prenup then it tells the future wife, i love you and all but don't want you touching my stuff, and also shows you don't think it will last

pick a better woman and don't sign a prenup

I agree. A prenup kinda says "I'm ready to commit to you Babe, but just in case this marriage thing doesn't work out...."

Now, in some cases, prenups may be acceptable. I'm thinking if you have been divorced before...and your previous wife took you to the bank....your new bride-to-be might be understanding of this realizing that you've been burned before. I dunno.

...but to those getting married the first time (as the original poster was implying) I'm not sure it's a wise thing to ask for. Especially if you are not making millions already Sorry Hon...but I don't want you taking the $134 I have in the bank


In my case, there is no need for a prenup. After we had our first child my wife became a stay-at-home mom and has been out of the work force for 10 years. That, combined with the fact we now have 3 kids would mean Nut73 wouldn't have a pot to piss in if he were divorced

[jbooma]

Originally posted by SkinsNut73


...but to those getting married the first time (as the original poster was implying) I'm not sure it's a wise thing to ask for. Especially if you are not making millions already Sorry Hon...but I don't want you taking the $134 I have in the bank

well then you are left with only $67 then