Traditional Capitalism



You have two cows.

You sell one and buy a bull.

Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.

You sell them and retire on the income




Enron Venture Capitalism


You have two cows. You sell three of them to your

publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your

brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an

associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax

exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an

intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority

shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed

company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one

more. The public buys your bull.



AN AMERICAN CORPORATION


You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
You are surprised when the cow drops dead.




A FRENCH CORPORATION


You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.




A JAPANESE CORPORATION


You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the

size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then

create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them World-Wide.




A GERMAN CORPORATION


You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.


A BRITISH CORPORATION

You have two cows. Both are mad.




AN ITALIAN CORPORATION


You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.





A RUSSIAN CORPORATION


You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows.

You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them

again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open

another bottle of vodka.




A SWISS CORPORATION


You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others

for storing them.




A HINDU CORPORATION


You have two cows. You worship them.




A CHINESE CORPORATION


You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment,
high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.




AN ARKANSAS CORPORATION


You have two cows. That one on the left is kinda cute...