Dallas Cowboy Jokes!

[pR0JEkT 21]

A Dallas Cowboy fan, a Washinton Redskin fan and Julia Roberts were all sitting together on the subway when the lights went out, and the car went completely dark. In the darkness there was a kissing noise, and then the sound of a really loud slap! When the subway car’s lights came back on, Julia and the Redskin fan were sitting as if nothing happened, while the Cowboy fan was holding his slapped face! The Cowboy fan was thinking, "That Redskin fan must have kissed Julia, and she swung at him and missed, slapping me instead!" Meanwhile, Julia was thinking, "That Cowboy fan must have tried to kiss me, accidentally kissed the Redskin fan, and got slapped for it!" And the Redskin fan was thinking, "This is great! The next time the subway car’s lights go out, I'll make another kissing noise and slap the crap out of that Cowboy fan again!"

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[DialSux]

ahhh...it's about that time of the season. one of my favorites below:

A woman in Dallas calls 911. When the officer answers the phone the woman is hysterical and tells the cop that a man has just broken into her home and she thinks he intends to rape her. The officer explain that they are just extremely busy at the moment and tells her "Just get the guy's jersey number and we'll get back to you."

[Mr. Nostril]

I'd improve that joke by saying "The officer explains that they'll be right there, and tell her "make sure you get the guys jersey number."

because the thought of 911 telling the girl "we're very busy right now," really leaves me feeling uncomfortable.

[pR0JEkT 21]

There is a Redskins fan, a Giants fan, and a Cowboys fan that got caught drunk in Saudi Arabia, where it is highly illegal to consume alcohol. They are all sentenced to be whipped 200 times. Luckily the whipper was a football fan and seeing as they were too, he gave each of them one wish. The Giants fan was first, he asked if he could have a pillow tied to his back to make it hurt less. But the whip broke through the pillow after like 20 whips and the Giants fan was in extreme pain. The Cowboys fan saw what had happened, so he asked to have 2 pillows tied to his back, but the whip again broke through. Last was the Redskins fan. The whipper said "You are a redskins fan, the greatest team in the world, you are allowed 2 wishes!" So the Redskins fan thought for a minute. "For my first wish, i want to be whipped 1,000 times!" The whipper was confused. "For my second wish, tie the Cowboys fan to my back!!!"

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[pR0JEkT 21]

A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a Dallas Cowboy fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they, too, are Cowboy fans. Everyone in the class raises their hands except one little girl. The teacher looks at the little girl with surprise and says, "Jenny, why didn't you raise your hand?" Jenny replied, "Because I'm not a Cowboy fan!" The still shocked teacher asked, "Well, if you aren't a Cowboy fan, then who are you a fan of?" Jenny answered, "I'm a Redskin fan and proud of it!" The teacher couldn't believe her ears. "Jenny, why in the world are you a Redskin fan?!" Jenny replied, "Because my mom is a Redskin fan, my dad is a Redskin fan, so I'm a Redskin fan, too!" The teacher answered in a slightly annoyed tone, "That is no reason for you to be a Redskin fan! You don't have to be just like your parents all of the time. What if your mom was a moron and your dad was a moron, what would you be then?!" Jenny smiled and said, "Then I'd be a Dallas Cowboy fan!"

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[wesleyc288]

There is Always one joke that kills me every time i hear it.....it is so funny! just scroll down to see it.

Its just one single word!! does anyone know what that word is??????

















































































THEISMAN!!!!

[skinz4evr]

There is Always one joke that kills me every time i hear it.....it is so funny! just scroll down to see it.

Its just one single word!! does anyone know what that word is??????

















































































THEISMAN!!!!

SuperBowl WINNER!

[SWFLSkins]

[QUOTE=wesleyc288] There is Always one joke that kills me every time i hear it.....it is so funny! just scroll down to see it.



I was recently in a car accident with wesleyc288 and we both were on our way to see the Redskins play the Cowboys. Not knowing each other and rooting for the opposite teams sure made for a difficult moment waiting for the police to show up. Me being the bigger man offered Wes a drink of my Jack Daniels flask and he said sure why not, he then passed it back to me.

I replied, go ahead have another one being the thoughtful fan I am as we discussed the greatest rivalry in football.

Then Wes again passed the flask to me, I said NAH, I will wait for the cop to get here.


-----------------
Ever see the Cowboys show on HGTV? Pimp my cell.

[SWFLSkins]

I'd improve that joke by saying "The officer explains that they'll be right there, and tell her "make sure you get the guys jersey number."

because the thought of 911 telling the girl "we're very busy right now," really leaves me feeling uncomfortable.

You live in LA and have confidence in calling 911? Funny but sad.

[75004]

Good jokes kingleo.

[pR0JEkT 21]

Two guys from Dallas die and wake up in hell. The devil stops by to check on them and sees them dressed in coats, gloves and earmuffs, warming themselves around the fire. The devil asked them, "What are you two doing? Isn't it hot enough for you?!" The guys reply, "Well, you do realize that we're from Dallas, Texas. After our summers there, this is like a cold wave!" The devil decides that these two guys aren't miserable enough, so he cranks up the heat! The next day, the devil stops by again and there are the two guys again dressed in their coats, gloves and earmuffs. The devil asked them, "It's awfully hot down here! Can't you guys feel that?!" Again the guys answered, "Well, like we told you yesterday, we are from Dallas, Texas. We have suffered through the dog days of a Texas summer. This is like winter down here!" The devil gets really steamed and he decides to crank up the heat as high as it will go. People are wailing and screaming all over hell. However, when he stops by to check on the two men, he finds them in light jackets, grilling steaks and drinking beer! The devil couldn't believe his eyes. "Everyone down here is in absolute misery! You two seem to be enjoying yourselves!" The two men reply, "Well, as you know, we are from Dallas, Texas. This weather is like a fall morning during football season! So we thought we would have a little tailgate party!" The devil is so mad that he can't see straight! He decides that if the heat doesn't bother these two guys, he will go in the opposite direction. He decides to shut all the heat off in hell! The next day, the temperature is below zero. Icicles are hanging everywhere. People are shivering so bad, they are unable to wail, moan or gnash their teeth! The devil smiled as he went to check on the two Texans. He finds them back in their coats, gloves and earmuffs. They were jumping up and down and cheering! The devil was dumbfounded. "I don't get it! When I turned the heat up, you were happy! Now it's freezing cold, and you are celebrating! What's wrong with you two?" The Texans looked at the devil in surprise. "Well, don't you know? If hell froze over, that must mean that the Cowboys must've got back to the Super Bowl!"

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[flashback]

Two guys from Dallas die and wake up in hell. The devil stops by to check on them and sees them dressed in coats, gloves and earmuffs, warming themselves around the fire. The devil asked them, "What are you two doing? Isn't it hot enough for you?!" The guys reply, "Well, you do realize that we're from Dallas, Texas. After our summers there, this is like a cold wave!" The devil decides that these two guys aren't miserable enough, so he cranks up the heat! The next day, the devil stops by again and there are the two guys again dressed in their coats, gloves and earmuffs. The devil asked them, "It's awfully hot down here! Can't you guys feel that?!" Again the guys answered, "Well, like we told you yesterday, we are from Dallas, Texas. We have suffered through the dog days of a Texas summer. This is like winter down here!" The devil gets really steamed and he decides to crank up the heat as high as it will go. People are wailing and screaming all over hell. However, when he stops by to check on the two men, he finds them in light jackets, grilling steaks and drinking beer! The devil couldn't believe his eyes. "Everyone down here is in absolute misery! You two seem to be enjoying yourselves!" The two men reply, "Well, as you know, we are from Dallas, Texas. This weather is like a fall morning during football season! So we thought we would have a little tailgate party!" The devil is so mad that he can't see straight! He decides that if the heat doesn't bother these two guys, he will go in the opposite direction. He decides to shut all the heat off in hell! The next day, the temperature is below zero. Icicles are hanging everywhere. People are shivering so bad, they are unable to wail, moan or gnash their teeth! The devil smiled as he went to check on the two Texans. He finds them back in their coats, gloves and earmuffs. They were jumping up and down and cheering! The devil was dumbfounded. "I don't get it! When I turned the heat up, you were happy! Now it's freezing cold, and you are celebrating! What's wrong with you two?" The Texans looked at the devil in surprise. "Well, don't you know? If hell froze over, that must mean that the Cowboys must've got back to the Super Bowl!"

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You do realize the Cowboys have been to the Super Bowl 8 times, more than any other franchise?

This is the problem with these "insert football team name here" jokes. Not every joke is applicable to every team.

I do like the "redneck bastard kills family pet" joke, if you get a chance to put that one in...

[pR0JEkT 21]

You do realize the Cowboys have been to the Super Bowl 8 times, more than any other franchise?

This is the problem with these "insert football team name here" jokes. Not every joke is applicable to every team.

I do like the "redneck bastard kills family pet" joke, if you get a chance to put that one in...

I know its true about Dallas and the superbowls, but it had to be up come on you cant blame me Im a skins fan. I dont want to get the credit for all these jokes cause I didnt write them, I just found them and I wanted to share them with everybody. Anyways, the joke you like is up on the first page by Rocky21 post #12! Enjoy..all the jokes!

[wesleyc288]

yea because the redskins are much closer to the super bowl than the cowboys!!!!!!......lol .......that is ONE FUNNY JOKE!!!!!

[Hail_to_Kessel]

yea because the redskins are much closer to the super bowl than the cowboys!!!!!!......lol .......that is ONE FUNNY JOKE!!!!!

I'm laughing my ass off, so yah it is funny troll.