The going-back-to-school/all-purpose self-improvement thread

[Teller]

As many of you know, this has been quite a time of change and upheaval for me. Even though my wife and kids came back home a few nights ago, that whole thing is still up in the air. I'm working to hold things together, but who knows what'll happen there.

What I have decided to do, is to take charge and be productive in the areas of my life I CAN completely control. And one of those areas is going back to school.

I've always been frustrated with myself for only obtaining an AA degree. I knew I had the tools to become a damn doctor if I wanted to, I just lacked the drive and motivation. Hence, I've pissed away an IQ near 140 on menial (albeit good paying) jobs, and just getting by.

I'm going to change that. As many of you know, my kids; and possibly saving my marriage, are my two most important priorities. And at this point, with my wife being a school teacher, I feel the best way to do that is to follow her.

While I'm looking at the schedule as a primary motivation (evenings, weekends, and all summer with my kids), I feel like I have a lot to offer the system as well. I think I can teach our young people how to think instead of what to think; and I can pull from my mistakes to help guide our kids in the right direction.

What I'm interested in is how to go about getting started. I know I need to get an FAF form in now for the fall, and apply to the two universities I'm looking at. Also, for any of you who have gone back to school as adults; especially with children, what can I expect? Am I going to do more harm to my kids than it's worth being so busy in the short run? How did you still make time for your kids?

To make this thread a little more useful, I'd also like to encourage you guys to share your ideas for self-improvement in general -- your successes, your failures. You never know what's going to help someone else.

Blondie, if you get a chance, I'm especially interested in your opinion. The county my wife teaches in has a program where they'll pay 100% tuition and books to complete your degree if you work with kids with severe and profound disabilities. I worked as a teacher-aide a while back with a kid who had Down's and several behavioral problems and LOVED it. I just wonder if I have the skill and patience to manage a whole class of special-needs kids.

Thanks in advance for any advice/ideas. I hope this thread will be useful to others as well.

[Prosperity]

My mom is doing night school now, and its pretty rough with a full time job, but there is no reason why you can't do it. My best advice is that when you take classes use ratemyprofessor.com to find the best or easiest professors for troublesome classes.

[SkinsOrlando]

I hear gynaecologists get paid well but the job can be a little hairy at times.

[Teller]

My mom is doing night school now, and its pretty rough with a full time job, but there is no reason why you can't do it. My best advice is that when you take classes use ratemyprofessor.com to find the best or easiest professors for troublesome classes.

Thanks, Lib, I'll do that. I'm just worried about the short-term effect on the kids. Long term, I think it'll be great for them. It's just getting to that point that has me concerned.

[dfitzo53]

In terms of self-improvement advice, I would say this: Pick one or two things and focus on those. You can't change your future overnight, and if you try to simultaneously go on a diet, become more organized, go back to school, exercise more, take up gardening and learn Spanish you'll run yourself ragged and probably give up on all of it.

Ask yourself some questions:
Why am I doing this?
How much do I expect it to cost me?
How, in non-monetary terms, is it going to impact my life?
Where do I see myself in five years?

Best of luck to you, Jason. I think this is a great decision.

[Henry]

Online courses have really taken off over the past few years. I'm taking a computer course through GMU, online, and it's pretty comprehensive.

If you're interested, here's a link. There's a lot more of this out there too.

http://ocpe.gmu.edu/certificate_prog...necourses.html

[Teller]

Online courses have really taken off over the past few years. I'm taking a computer course through GMU, online, and it's pretty comprehensive.

If you're interested, here's a link. There's a lot more of this out there too.

http://ocpe.gmu.edu/certificate_prog...necourses.html

Thanks for that, Henry, but I've pretty much made up my mind to pursue something in the education field. With student teaching, etc, I haven't found an online BS program yet. Some schools offer masters degrees in education fields online, which I'll definitely keep in mind down the road.

Having worked in law enforcement and security pretty much my whole life, I can't imagine what it would be like to be off every weekend, holiday and all summer long. Obviously, that's a huge benefit from a selfish standpoint, but I also think it will give me more time to do what really matters (being a father and husband).

[Teller]

In terms of self-improvement advice, I would say this: Pick one or two things and focus on those. You can't change your future overnight, and if you try to simultaneously go on a diet, become more organized, go back to school, exercise more, take up gardening and learn Spanish you'll run yourself ragged and probably give up on all of it.

Ask yourself some questions:
Why am I doing this?
How much do I expect it to cost me?
How, in non-monetary terms, is it going to impact my life?
Where do I see myself in five years?

Best of luck to you, Jason. I think this is a great decision.

You're wise beyond your years, my friend. I've picked exactly two things; going back to school and eating better to focus on off the bat. And you're absolutely right that attempting more than that from the start would backfire.

Once I start seeing some of those "small victories" that I can give myself credit for, then I'll tackle some others. Hopefully, it will be kind of a snowball effect of sorts.

[curlinga]

First off, HH, I applaud your decision to go back to school.


You're reasons for doing so seem sound & you're concern regarding the impact on your family is valid.

I just finished my MS in Education with an emphasis in Speech Language Pathology. I have 2 kids, and I will be very candid...it was not always easy.

At first, it was easy to schedule my classes around my life. However, it was a small program with classes offered during specific semesters & eventually, my life had to adjust to my class schedule...that is when it got tough. It got worse when my clinical practicums started. By the time I graduated in Dec, I was burned out & my family was feeling the strain too. I'm fortunate to be able to take some time "off" & just be a mom/wife for a bit since I'm applying for jobs with the schools starting in the fall.

In trying to keep it all together, something had to "give". In my case, it was my house. Basically, when it came to having a choice between cleaning my house or playing with my kids/spend time with hubby, my family won every single time. No brainer, right? I'm playing catch up now.

Anyway, reality is that it will be tough, but it IS totally doable. You have to simplify other areas of your life to accomodate your school schedule. And always remember WHY you're back in school...to eventually have more time with your family. It will help you get through the dark times when you question what you're doing!

Good luck!
Amy

ETA: Forgot to mention, that having kids while pursuing an education degree can be a plus too. They're like having you're own "lab" at home and sometimes can help illustrate what you're learning at school. When we discussed language development in class, I could totally relate because my older son was 3 1/2 & in the thick of what we were talking about. I also let several of my single classmates "borrow" him when we had to take language samples for analysis since they had no access to any children.

[SkinsHokieFan]

Awesome news

Also, when in doubt about things ask yourself this simple question

"What do I want?"

[Teller]

Amy, that was EXACTLY the kind of post I was looking for. Congratulations on completing your MS, and thanks very much for your post.


It sounds as though you had a really good handle on something that's always been a bit of a struggle for me; prioritizing your time. You were/are wise enough to know that the housework will be there whenever you get to it, and put those you love first.

Obviously, I'm going to have to be careful. Young children need (and deserve) a lot of time and attention. And I'm going to have to find a way to continue to provide that. Throw in a struggling marriage, and it could REALLY be tough.

When I talked to my wife about this a few months ago, I told her that this would be harder on her than it would on me. I believe that's true. Any self-respecting man will readily admit that it's his wife that truly keeps his home running. My case is no different. And not only am I going to be taking time from the kids, but from my wife too.

And not just "fun" time. Dishes time, laundry time, cleaning time. Any advice on how to make that up to her? I mean, she knows I'm doing it for our family, but still. A nice dinner and flowers won't make up for the extra burden this will place on her.

Thanks again for your advice,
Jason

[Teller]

Awesome news

Also, when in doubt about things ask yourself this simple question

"What do I want?"

You hit the nail on the head, SHF. That's precisely what I've been asking myself during this process. And I really came to three basic answers.

1) I need to be able to spend more time with my wife and kids.

I don't know if I'll be able to get my marriage worked out, but I'll have a better shot and more time to work on it if my wife and I are on the same schedule.

I've also listened to my wife talk about summers with her dad (who was a teacher) and how much that meant to her. I want my kids to look back on their childhood the same way.

2) I want a career that I can be proud of.

I think teaching is a well-respected profession. Right now, I work in the private security field, and while it's been suprisingly lucrative, people still think (incorrectly) I'm just a security guard. More than that though, I need a job that makes a real difference as opposed to just collecting a paycheck.

3) I want to be able to retire in 20 to 25 years.

With two kids and unexpected expenses, my Roth doesn't get the contributions it should. A state-funded retirement plan, supplemented by the Roth, seems to make a helluva lot more sense.

[Johnny Punani]

I hear gynaecologists get paid well but the job can be a little hairy at times.

Oh a little hair never hurt anyone.

[Major Harris]

hog, i tell you.....teaching is a tough job to beat. not only do you get all the holidays, snow days, spring break, christmas break, june, july, and august, great benefits....it's also a very rewarding job.

i assure you this: you can get a teaching job next school year, no problem. you then work towards your education degree. let me know if you're interested....there are coaching opportunities as well.

[Teller]

hog, i tell you.....teaching is a tough job to beat. not only do you get all the holidays, snow days, spring break, christmas break, june, july, and august, great benefits....it's also a very rewarding job.

i assure you this: you can get a teaching job next school year, no problem. you then work towards your education degree. let me know if you're interested....there are coaching opportunities as well.

I can't teach with an AA, Maj. But hey, if you know something I don't (which I'm sure you do) shoot me an email. I'm definitely interested.

I probably should've just emailed you from the beginning and spared everyone else the thread.