ExtremeSkins FF Dynasty League

[Forehead]

PM's sent to the five people we don't yet have e-mail addresses for. You want to run this thing Monday, the dat after the Super Bowl?

[GOSKN5]

Hey man I am good with running the randomizer anytime.... whenever you can do it... Saturday or Sunday morning before the superbowl??? or Monday.... whatever is good for me....

Also, some good introductions in the other thread.. i am going to add mine tomorrow...

[KNGwithOUTaCrwN]

everythings good with me. i dont mind when we do it

[Forehead]

Ah yes, biographies, the perfect foil to create woe and fear amongst mine enemies.

Allow me to introduce myself mortals. I go by Phoward12 on these boards, and that's about all you need to know as far as names. I can also be referred to as "Your commissioner" or "Greatest of all Fantasy Players" or just "Sir" if you're into the whole brevity thing.

My experience playing fantasy football began around the year 2000 or so, and Yahoo has been my vehicle of choice. I have numerous (maybe three or four) championships to my name, and probably three-million second or fourth place finishes. I am notorious for dominating the regular season and then immediately choking in the playoffs; the Atlanta Braves of the Fantasy Football world. In one of my weaker moments, in college around 2001, I got loaded at a party one night. As I stumbled back to my room with visions of Old Milwaukee and loose women in my head, I got on Instant Messanger and chatted with a friend (at UVA) who was in my fantasy football league. The next hour or so is a blur, but when I woke up the next morning, I had somehow traded him Curtis Martin, Marvin Harrison and the Chicago defense (remember, this was 2001 or so) for what could only be described as the pu-pu platter. Because I was the commissioner of the league, I has gone into the commissioners tools options and apparently forced the trade through immediately instead of allowing the two day waiting period. I'm fairly sure this was his suggestion. I was in first place at the time, I finished in 8th. This is what we call "A Dark Time."

Now then, what can you expect from me? As your commish, things will be kept relatively fair unless I spy an opportunity that directly benefits me. If I'm drunk, well, obviously I tend to cause problems for myself. I am a notorious trash talker. Some have mentioned that they would like to be able to post pictures, like Failboat, for quick trash talking. I reject this notion and am glad Yahoo does not support pictures. Trash talking is a finely crafted art that can only be conveyed through the written word. Every one of you will hear about it from me at some point this year, I guarantee it.

No one has ever played Fantasy Football with me without being threatened with sodomy on multiple occasions. This applies to men and women, no one is safe, though if you cornered me, I'd have to admit I'd prefer the women take me up on the offer. Regardless, you will be threatened with it, as well as many other things. Should I win, you will see a long message posted about your shortcomings at managing your team, pleasing your wife, etc. Nothing is sacred, nothing is spared. Know this going in, nothing personal is meant by this. If I call you a "head shaking Parkinson's reject" in a fit of anger, don't respond with some lame "My cousin has Parkinson's" line that is only meant to make people feel bad. Fight back dammit, and get in the spirit. Should I lose, I will pick one aspect of the game, such as my second running back outscoring yours, and harp on it endlessly. Then I will hurl numerous insults at you to hide my inner pain of losing.

My team name has yet to be decided, but rest assured, it will wind up being something offensive to someone, or it will be sexual in nature. Two of my teams last year were named "Casual Throat-Raping" and "The Wifebeaters." The front runner right now may be Phoward's Plow Hards, but that is always subject to change. I have also been known to change my name week to week in order to ridicule my opponent.

If you never post messages in the league, I will call you out quickly and harshly. I will question your sexuality, commitment, and insinuate that you like to fornicate with midgets. If you never talk trash, you will become a target. If you abandon your team and forget to switch out people who are on bye...then woe upon you.

Anyway, let's have some fun and not take each other too seriously, we're all part of the same team in the end. I plan on having a great time and making each of your *******s bleed so badly you'll think you started an anal period.

[THEArmchairQB]

Great writeups TDR, SkinsNut73, and Phoward12!

PRESS RELEASE
For Immediate Release
Februay 2, 2008


'BABY DOLPHINS FOR DINNER' HIRES THEARMCHAIRQB AS PRESIDENT OF FOOTBALL OPERATIONS

Fredericksburg, Va- Baby Dolphins for Dinner has announced the hiring of the thusfar unknown THEArmchairQB as thier new President of Football Operations

Armchair is best known for assembling the roster of 'Hooray Beer' in his home league last year where he drafted Tom Brady, Randy Moss, and Joeseph Addai to form a dominating Fantasy Football lineup. He is also known for his ability to move players at the optimum time. His trade of Chris Cooley for Wes Welker cemented his place ahead the top of the PPR league 'Athletic Misfits'.

When asked about selecting defensive players for the first time, Armchair had this to say, "I have no idea what I am doing but I have lots of spreadsheets to tell me who to draft. I will give the defense players the same attention that I have given to the other side of the ball. Defense wins championships."

Armchair has been managing Fantasy Football for a short three years, however he has three titles and lots of money to show for his efforts. Baby Dolphins for Dinner owner Glen Bulloss (real name) touts the hiring as the begining of a new era. When asked if the hiring of Armchair was a sign of a new era for Bulloss smartly replied, "Of course it is a new era, the league has only been in existence for a couple of weeks!"

[Forehead]

Alright guys, everyone has sent me their e-mail addresses, which have been forwarded to Stoshuaj. He should be running the draft randomizer any day now, so we'll have our initial draft order. That will give everyone a few months to plan their drafts out.

And initially, it will give those of us who get ****ty draft spots, such as 8 or 9, plenty of time to *****.

*Also, it should be noted. In all my glorious fantasy football nerdiness, I've been keeping a spreadsheet of everyone's name/e-mail address and what rules have been agreed on.


I am going to start a separate spreadsheet soon for our draft that will have all 288 picks listed. If you guys decide to work out trades for picks, you NEED to make sure you let me know so I can keep track via this spreadsheet. Same thing with trades once the draft has started. I need to be able to keep track of who is on who's team if trades are made before I can set up the league.

Next set of rules hopefully to come soon, but the draft order being posted should be enough to keep you guys happy for now.

[GOSKN5]

Next set of rules hopefully to come soon, but the draft order being posted should be enough to keep you guys happy for now.

I dont know man... we are a tough bunch of fantasy football deprived losers....

[Touchdown Redskins]

That's it, I can't take it any longer. I am willing to trade my whole draft for the first pick, and then I'm going to draft the wrong Adrian Peterson.

[GOSKN5]

I can already tell from the introductions that this league is going to be really interesting...

Im glad we have some personalities involved.....


GOSKN5 Team Name: Reality-Check

Profession: Youth Program Director

Hobbies: Redskins, Kayak Fishing, Golf

My name is Jake, and I am 24 married with no kids, yet. I have a Great Dane names buckshot and a cat named Gibby (named after Joe Gibbs). I am currently living in Virginia Beach.

My fantasy experience is limited. This past season was my first season doing fantasy. However, I have always had a passion for keeping up with stats, players etc. I just never had the chance to get into fantasy due to life's little constraints. I also made the championship game in all of my leagues this year, mostly due to good waiver pickups and dumpoffs. I am very active and will check stats, injuries, news etc a few times a day. I also put in my time with the draft and will have a clear plan in place. You wont have to worry about me giving up or forgetting to set my lineup, no matter how bad or good things are going.

Looking forward to a great league, hopefully we will all be still going strong several years from now. I cant wait to get it started.

[GOSKN5]

That's it, I can't take it any longer. I am willing to trade my whole draft for the first pick, and then I'm going to draft the wrong Adrian Peterson.

In that case... I have the first pick and I would be willing to make that trade with you.. sign me up....

[KNGwithOUTaCrwN]

haha,cant wait...

[THEArmchairQB]

I can't wait!

[GOSKN5]

Its really gonna suck when we find out our draft orders and we dont have anything to look forward to until April.....

I will drive myself crazy planning and replanning my draft plan...

[stoshuaj]

ok boys and girls, at exactly 9:42, "the button" was pushed to officially let the beatings commence. You should all be receiving e-mail notification but for posterity's sake, here's how it all began........

Round 1
Pick Team
1 SkinsNut73
2 stoshuaj
3 Twenty-Eight
4 GOSKN5
5 ArmchairQB
6 Phoward12
7 Drop
8 Kuraigentai
9 The Burgundy and Gold
10 King w/o Crown
11 Chuong9
12 TD Redskins

Round 2
Pick Team
1 TD Redskins
2 Chuong9
3 King w/o Crown
4 The Burgundy and Gold
5 Kuraigentai
6 Drop
7 Phoward12
8 ArmchairQB
9 GOSKN5
10 Twenty-Eight
11 stoshuaj
12 SkinsNut73

and continuing on thru round 24

[Drop]

Drop's Team Name: Beatdown INC.