Opinions & Advice Needed

[Capt. Kaos]

My 13 yr.old daughter goes to a middle school in Frederick County, MD. It has come to my attention that her principal, an african american lady (not that it matters in the least), passing her and 2 friends in the hallway made a very disturbing statement.

In passing she said to them, "You all are a bunch of crackers".

This bothers me to my core. I find it very unacceptable from anyone but especially from someone I am supposed to trust with my daughter on a daily basis.

My daughter believes the statement was said in jest and that she meant no harm from it. On the other hand she didnt realize the racial significance behind it either.

My dilemna, should I make a big deal out of this situation? Am I just being racially sensitive and overreacting? What say you?

[Sandman69]

Dang, that is hard to believe a Principal would say that to kids. In Jest or not. Just switch the scenario, to a white Principal that would say something similar and how do you think people would react. Are you sure that is exactly what happened?

I dunno, that is tough one if you don't like confrontations. But, I would have to get it off my chest somehow.

[Capt. Kaos]

Dang, that is hard to believe a Principal would say that to kids. In Jest or not. Just switch the scenario, to a white Principal that would say something similar and how do you think people would react. Are you sure that is exactly what happened?

I dunno, that is tough one if you don't like confrontations. But, I would have to get it off my chest somehow.

I found it hard to believe also. I have questioned her in depth about this scenario and she is certain that is what she said. She is a good kid and has no reason to make up a story like this. The biggest reason that I believe her is her utter shock of me being so upset when she told me.

[SC_RedskinsFan]

Yes you need to say something. What kind of Principal says something like that? They are supposed to be role models, and need to be accountable for what they say. That is not appropriate to say in any school. This is how kids pick this stuff up and the vicious cycle will never stop.

[Blondie]

My 13 yr.old daughter goes to a middle school in Frederick County, MD. It has come to my attention that her principal, an african american lady (not that it matters in the least), passing her and 2 friends in the hallway made a very disturbing statement.

In passing she said to them, "You all are a bunch of crackers".

This bothers me to my core. I find it very unacceptable from anyone but especially from someone I am supposed to trust with my daughter on a daily basis.

My daughter believes the statement was said in jest and that she meant no harm from it. On the other hand she didnt realize the racial significance behind it either.

My dilemna, should I make a big deal out of this situation? Am I just being racially sensitive and overreacting? What say you?

As a public school administrator, even though in TEXAS, that statement is TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE.

Period.

Not in jest. Not in fun. Not in anything.

I would definitely inquire as to this statement. She may say they "misunderstood" her.

I would not let that slide.

[BigMike619]

racism is never a joke unless you are dave chappelle.

that right there is completely out of line and from the context of it was not meant as a joke.

blondie nailed it...

[Mark The Homer]

If you otherwise respect the lady, I'd say write her a letter expressing your concern, and tell her you don't expect to hear anything like this from her again. Keep it confidential. Everybody is human and makes mistakes.

If you have other issues with the lady, and this is just one of several, perhaps you should do more.

[dcnativenerd]

Completely unacceptable (and this is coming from a black guy).

[Spaceman Spiff]

Yeah, you gotta say something.

[dfitzo53]

I would send a letter as someone said, and request a meeting face to face. It's a completely irresponsible thing for a principal to say, regardless of the situation.

And honestly, I think it does matter that she's African American.

[chipwhich]

I would only do it in person. It's unacceptable...that said...it's not a battle you will "win" so to speak.

[dfitzo53]

I would only do it in person. It's unacceptable...that said...it's not a battle you will "win" so to speak.

I don't see it as something to be "won." It's a matter of understanding what exactly was said, why it was said, and then making it clear that it's an unacceptable way to speak to his daughter.

[redskinss]

my buddy has an all white dog they named cracker, hell i thought it was pretty funny.

It was innapropriate for the principal to say that to your daughter but ive never been offended by that word.

what the hell is the meaning behind the word anyway, if somebody said it to me it wouldnt even bother me because i wouldnt understand it, just like if somebody came up to me and in the most hated way possible called me a snarfblat, it wouldnt mean anything to me.

[Special K]

Schedule a face-to-face meeting with her to express your concerns. If that meeting concludes poorly (e.g. denies it, plays down its unacceptableness, tries to lay blame on the kids for mistaking her, etc.) take the issue to the administration/school board.

My mom and dad did this with our principal when I was about 12-13 when he was saying stuff that was emotionally abusive to kids. Some parents thought this behavior was okay, my parents did not. In fact, many parents did not and yanked their children from the school. He and his wife (who was also a teacher at the school) were eventually let go, but it took quite a while for the administration to get to that point.

[Tastes Like Chicken]

what the hell is the meaning behind the word anyway, if somebody said it to me it wouldnt even bother me because i wouldnt understand it, just like if somebody came up to me and in the most hated way possible called me a snarfblat, it wouldnt mean anything to me.

Who the **** you callin' a snarfblat?!!

I'm 1/2 snarfblat BTW.


Seriously, I'd request a meeting. Only face to face can you judge any level of sincerity (or lack thereof). It's possible that she meant it in a different way, or it's possible that it was malicious. But giving her time to prepare a formal response is not going to give you the most honest, off the cuff reaction IMO. Have you spoken with the parents of the other girls yet?