ES Soccer Thread

[AsiaticSkinsFan]

I really hope Wenger sells Vermaelen next summer if he continues these shenanigans. Such an overrated player.

[Elessar78]

I really hope Wenger sells Vermaelen next summer if he continues these shenanigans. Such an overrated player.

Are you trolling again? What the heck are you talking about?

[AsiaticSkinsFan]

Are you trolling again? What the heck are you talking about?

why would I be trolling? I never troll


the guy is a clown shoes centerback. He lunges into tackles in bad areas, he is out of position often because he is bombing forward, and he loses concentration.

The guy is a great footballer, but a bad defender. Last night highlighted all that is bad about him. And for some reason, Wenger made the guy captain.

I wish Wenger drops dude for Mertesacker, but it will never happen.

[Elessar78]

Thought I'd share this thread from BigSoccer. HIlarious

The Pickup Players you Meet in Hell

http://www.bigsoccer.com/community/t...-hell.1972368/

Johnny Laser Show
Never misses a chance to rip full-force shots from 30 yards out, despite the fact that we’re playing with 4-foot-wide goals and a “has-to-go-in-on-the-ground” rule. Good thinking, ass.

The Wall
The s—tty yin to Johnny Laser Show’s s—tty yang. At all times, he’s planted directly in the middle of the 4-foot-wide goal he’s defending, thereby making it impossible to score unless you can figure out a way to quantum tunnel the ball through his body. I will gladly blast shots at this guy’s junk to get him to knock it off and play the game like a real man.

Tony Longbomb
Hmm, I could try to make that simple, logical pass to my teammate who’s standing wide open, 10 yards in front of me…OR I COULD TRY TO LAUNCH A 60-YARD AERIAL PASS THAT SPLITS EIGHT DEFENDERS AND IS AS LIKELY TO FIND ITS INTENDED TARGET AS I AM TO HAVE A 3-WAY WITH KATE UPTON AND SCARLETT JOHANSSON!!!!! JEAH!!!! LET’S DO THAT EVERY SINGLE TIME I GET THE BALL!!!

Merdinho
Refuses to pass the ball to anyone without a foreign accent and generally struts about the park with a smug sense of superiority because the best eleven players from his country happen to be better than the best eleven players from your country. This despite the fact that Merdinho himself can’t dribble 3 yards without tripping over the ball, gets winded tucking in his shirt, and generally bears as much resemblance to Neymar as he does to a space alien.

Merdinho Dos
Refuses to pass the ball to anyone without a foreign accent and generally struts about the park with a smug sense of superiority despite the fact that his country sits roughly 170 spots below yours in the FIFA rankings. Wears a Barcelona jersey. Sucks big-time.

Timmy Rabona
Has ridiculous, silky-smooth dribbling skills and knows every circus trick in the book. Unfortunately, he has zero game sense and is somehow incapable of putting the proper weight on a 5-yard square pass. Will invariably try to dribble past the entire opposing defense. Usually succeeds in beating two or three defenders before getting swarmed and losing the ball because everyone knows he’s not passing. Actually succeeds in dribbling through everyone and scoring once every million attempts. This somehow justifies his trying to do the same thing another 999,999 times.

Meat
Played high-school football. Two hundred pounds of rock-solid muscle, zero agility or body control. Goes flying into every challenge like William Wallace on methamphetamine. Completely oblivious to how the sport should be played. Leaves a trail of destruction everywhere he goes on the field.

Joey Eurosport
Rolls up to the park wearing gear whose aggregate cost exceeds the GDP of Western Samoa. Unfortunately, his TechFit jersey and Mercurial Vapors do little to mask the fact that he sucks mule balls.

[Gibbs Hog Heaven]

LOL. I've played with all of them on a Sunday at different times over the years.

Hail.

[renaissance]

Merdinho Dos
Refuses to pass the ball to anyone without a foreign accent and generally struts about the park with a smug sense of superiority despite the fact that his country sits roughly 170 spots below yours in the FIFA rankings. Wears a Barcelona jersey. Sucks big-time.

Need to add that this guy usually comes to the game with gel in his hair.

boysetsfire and I have encountered Merdinho Dos many times in our pickup days. In one instance, the guy was on our team and literally came up and tackled the ball away from boysetsfire at midfield.

[Elessar78]

Or the guy that comes to the game wearing cologne. BARF. WTF dude?

[Elessar78]

Bumped for NavyDave. Take the bait, Dave. Take the bait.

[Gibbs Hog Heaven]

This week's episode was fantastic

It indeed was man.

BR style just blows you away every time you hear him speak. How freaking awesome must Lucas of felt before the Gommel game after he picked him out in the team talk? And loved DJ George getting his 5 minutes. Dudes a part of the furniture as much as anyone. He only got the gig by walking upto the club way back when and saying he thought the guy on the PA was crap and he could do a better job. 50 years later, he's still there every home game.

As soccer doco's go, this really has been one of the more insightful and better done ones I've seen. A lot of PR of course, and no doubt Fox wouldn't of looked twice at us if it wasn't for Henry and FSG; but they've done a boss job. Pity it's only in 6 episodes.

Hail.

[Corcaigh]

Need to add that this guy usually comes to the game with gel in his hair.

boysetsfire and I have encountered Merdinho Dos many times in our pickup days. In one instance, the guy was on our team and literally came up and tackled the ball away from boysetsfire at midfield.

A few years ago I signed up for some soccer league at our local gym. I got placed on a team with a few chaps from south of the border who were not exactly into the concept of it being a passing, team game. Their idea was you dribble up the field, ignoring your open teammates, until dispossessed. They had neither the speed nor skills to make this an effective strategy. The icing on the cake was when one of them adopted this approach multiple times during his stint in goal.

****ing unbelievable

[jly0784]

my favorite is when youre playing a game against a bunch of south americans, and every single one of them is wearing a messi jersey... you cant say get the fast one, get messi, get the little guy... cause everyone of them is little, fast and rockin a messi kit lol

[RichmondRedskin88]

I was practicing at the Kickers facility. Two buds of mine were double teaming me while my other bud who is a keeper was back in net. I sent the ball between both of them and leaped between both of them(completely caught them off guard). My bud came out of net and I blasted the bouncing ball in the upper 90. I did a slide into a RVD impression. Kickers player walked by went "That was nice lol. Bonus points on the celebration too." LOL

[Knick]

Need to add that this guy usually comes to the game with gel in his hair.

boysetsfire and I have encountered Merdinho Dos many times in our pickup days. In one instance, the guy was on our team and literally came up and tackled the ball away from boysetsfire at midfield.

Mostly they're the former soccer star back in their teen years. Will flop like crazy if beaten.

The Gatekeeper
The slow-as-molasses individual with no athletic ability nor skill to play soccer, will never move 10 feet away from his/her team's post. That would be me.

[DCranon21]

LOL. I've played with all of them on a Sunday at different times over the years.

Hail.

Looks like I need to check out the pickup games more often, so I can see for myself. I know a lot of guys up the street from me have pickup games every weekend when the weather is good of course.

[ixcuincle]

Good win for City today

Morning tradition of Darkey and MAcca to start the Saturday