The 2011 Washington Redskins Draft Drinking Game

[Truant]

In 24 hours we're going to be watching the draft and all will be revealed... but it can be a little stressful. Please post additional items that might help Redskins Nation make it through the next 4 days alive.

First, what team are you on?


Team Spurrier!

Franchise QBs are grown on trees! We're just too passive to have plucked ours! This year we HAVE to come away with our guy!

For you:

• If the now picking helmet changes from one team’s helmet to the Redskins helmet at pick 5 or earlier, signifying a trade up, shout “NAILED IT” and wash down your sure-fire, day-one Pro-Bowl starter with a shot/drink
• If any 2012 pick is involved in a trade that nets Jake Locker, finish your beer or take a shot and whip out your iPhone to order your “Who needs Luck when you can get a LOCK?” shirt
• If the #10 pick arises with Gabbert and Locker off the board and neither a Redskin, enjoy a sip of your choice as you stare longingly at the Manning or Brees jersey across the bar
• If the #10 is not a player that you wanted, exclaim “SEE!” and point out how the team should have traded up in the 7th round into the 6th for Tom Brady like you had suggested
• If University of Washington QB Jake Locker is selected as a Washington Redskin and you consider the likelihood of the following to be about the same:
  1. The Sun rising in the east
  2. Your significant other to request you do a menial task when the Redskins are on the clock
  3. Jake Locker to rifle a bullet (not a real bullet) through Asante Samuels chest cavity into Chris Cooley’s hands for the winning score in the 2011 NFC Championship game
  Enjoy a shot/drink and tell your buddies you’ll see them on Monday. When they ask about watching for the other picks say that you don’t need them. That you’re donated them to the Asante Samuel charity fund.
• For every pick of the 2012 draft that is sacrificed, REJOICE! and have a drink. The future is now.

Team Marty!

You are cautious, and wary. These punks around you know nothing about value and constructing a team the right way. Rookie QBs take 9 years to develop and without all-pro talent surrounding them, it’s a waste of a pick.

Here you go:

• If the now picking helmet changes from one team’s helmet to the Redskins helmet at pick 5 or earlier, signifying a trade up, take two shots/sips and ***** about fiscal responsibility. Move up to 6-9 take one.
• If the 2012 1st rounder is involved in any trade, finish your beer or take a shot and mutter “there goes our shot at Luck…”
• If University of Washington QB Jake Locker is selected as a Washington Redskin and you consider the likelihood of the following to be about the same:
  1. Lightning striking you while being ravaged by a great white shark
  2. Scarlett Johnson sexting you tonight
  3. Jake Locker completing an out-route
  Enjoy a shot/drink and tell your buddies that you might need a ride to the hospital… but be sure to include that you don’t want Locker to take you because he might leave your insurance forms incomplete.
• If the #10 pick arises with no trade up, enjoy a sip of your choice
• If the #10 is not a player that you wanted, ***** that the team should have traded up for a more reliable option and take a drink
• If the #10 pick is traded to another team and the Washington Redskins move down, congratulations! You win! Enjoy a drink and know that even if the Redskins draft board is really a PLINKO board, you can relax because you got value. And, in the end, isn’t that all that matters?
• If the word “Snyder” is spoken by the talking heads and a chill goes down your spine, enjoy your beer and relish that it did not cost you 9 dollars
• If Blaine Gabbert is selected as a Washington Redskin and in your rage you suddenly recognize an eerily resemblance between him and Patrick Bateman, drink your shot/beer and leave your egg-shell business card on the table. Good night.
  
• For every pick of the 2012 draft that is gained, have a drink, the future is bright.

Bonus:
If Blaine Gabbert is selected as a Washington Redskin and you suddenly recognize an eerily resemblance between him and Patrick Bateman AND you realize that you kinda dig that it, drink your beer and request Whitney Houston's Greatest Love of All to be played during commercial.

Just trying to lighten the mood!

[Monk4thaHALL]

Is there an option with a Gabbert selection for Team Spurrier?
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edit: (reason - need more drink options) Drop a shot into a beer - Car bomb?

[Truant]

Is there an option with a Gabbert selection for Team Spurrier?
__

edit: (reason - need more drink options) Drop a shot into a beer - Car bomb?

I like it! One car bomb for each of the following:

- NFL network exclaims we reached heavily
- ESPN exclaims we reached heavily
- Your friends/bastards at the bar laugh about how we reached heavily

[Alcoholic Zebra]

I love this. I'm definitely Team Marty here.

I think I'm going to make a little mini big-board of semi-realistic (meaning Von Miller and Marcell Dareus don't count despite me really wanting Dareus) and each time a player on that mini big-board is drafted before #10, I'll drink heavily.

If we trade down from #10 to say #14, I'll buy shots.

[Rpredskins]

how about drink every time shanny makes a vague comment and youll be in the hospital by round 2

[Truant]

I'll submit to a Washington Apple shot if Locker is a Redskin tonight.

A shot of vodka for Gabbert.

And a red-headed slut if it's Dalton.


I'd like to find something for Dallas trading down right in front of us and trying to screw us... ideas?

[RichmondRedskin88]

how about a shot every draft selection? Simple and to the point.

[ConnSKINS26]

I'd like to find something for Dallas trading down right in front of us and trying to screw us... ideas?

Well, I think some Dubra mixed with some OJ is the right call here. A good 'ol fashioned alcoholic punishment. Just to really underline how much that would suck.

---------- Post added April-28th-2011 at 04:31 PM ----------

how about a shot every draft selection? Simple and to the point.

Man, in years past with Vinny here, we'd almost definitely not even get a buzz

Hopefully that changes.

[Truant]

Trade up to #1 and take Newton...

Absolute Suicide:
http://www.drinksmixer.com/drink10004.html

For every player that you think will bust that goes before #10, a lemondrop.