Romney's own words said it all, when he was talking to the most ardent and deep-pocketed movers and shakers of his own party and thought nobody else was listening. Romney was the GOP's selected go-to standard bearer, platform pusher, demographically fitting toothy pitchman, and enthusiastic benefactor through and through. All rolled into one. And he was happy to do it.
To him, the GOP was the best fitting party money could buy. All it cost him, aside from other people's money, was the inconvenience of running away from everything he had ever done as an elected politician. The GOP didn't compromise on their principles to get Romney -- Romney compromised on his and rolled over for the GOP. He took their platform, slapped his face on the front of it, and... the whole thing failed spectacularly. Things only improved once he flip-flopped and tried to convince people he didn't believe in that platform after all!
But no, surely that's not the platform's fault. Surely it was the fault of the decal on the front. Surely someone else would have done better with such a tone-deaf, crappy party vision. The same one Ryan and friends are still pushing now.
This bitter divorce makes for some highly entertaining viewing. You really ought to disown the entire family though, instead of pretending you hate the ex-husband while still embracing the crazy in-laws.
Maybe try a Big Bird gambit next?
"Remember, I'm not just the GOP's would-be President... I'm also a client."