Happy National Coming Out Day!

[thebluefood]

When I was a teenager, I met this girl at a young journalists convention. Soon afterward, we started a long distance, romantic relationship. She even came down to North Carolina to visit me one summer. The relationship didn't last very long, of course, but I was very much in love with her, and I was for years. From where I could see, she was in love with me, too.

During my sophomore year at East Carolina, she made it clear to me that she no longer had romantic feelings for me. I was confused and hurt, but we remained friends.

A few months ago, she came out to me and told me that everything she had said to me about being in love was a lie. She never felt anything of the sort for me.

I tell this story because I believe the reason for that isn't because she is a cold-hearted person (quite the opposite). I believe that much of it came from our society's still hostile view of homosexuals. If she were freer to be who she really was/is, so much of our mutual heartache could've been avoided.

[LadySkinsFan]

Don't worry their coming out

Disrespectful.

---------- Post added October-12th-2012 at 10:05 AM ----------

When I was a teenager, I met this girl at a young journalists convention. Soon afterward, we started a long distance, romantic relationship. She even came down to North Carolina to visit me one summer. The relationship didn't last very long, of course, but I was very much in love with her, and I was for years. From where I could see, she was in love with me, too.

During my sophomore year at East Carolina, she made it clear to me that she no longer had romantic feelings for me. I was confused and hurt, but we remained friends.

A few months ago, she came out to me and told me that everything she had said to me about being in love was a lie. She never felt anything of the sort for me.

I tell this story because I believe the reason for that isn't because she is a cold-hearted person (quite the opposite). I believe that much of it came from our society's still hostile view of homosexuals. If she were freer to be who she really was/is, so much of our mutual heartache could've been avoided.

Exactly! While I didn't fall in love with the men I dated, I was certainly not living my particular truth. And I'm 61 now, so I didn't know anyone who was like me. All I knew was that while other girls were having crushes on boys, I was having crushes on girls and forcing myself to go out with boys to seem "normal".

I imagine your friend felt very conflicted about your relationship. However, it being long distance probably felt safe for her, she could use it as an excuse not to date boys/men in her locality and got her family off of her back too. And that was using you, a not very honorable thing. I did the same thing and I didn't feel very good about myself, but didn't have the knowledge or courage to live my truth until after my daughter was born. Then and only then could I be myself, come out and set a good example for my daughter. I think the tipping point came when I was dating this military guy and my mom was very encouraging that I marry him and I just couldn't do it, just didn't see myself in that situation.

One thing, if you had known a long time ago that she didn't love you, you could have been emotionally freed a lot sooner to move on to find someone to love. I hope you have done so and are happy.

[Forehead]

Don't worry their coming out

Disrespectful.

You're right. I'm annoyed that he didn't use "they're." Disrespectful to the English language

[thebluefood]

Exactly! While I didn't fall in love with the men I dated, I was certainly not living my particular truth. And I'm 61 now, so I didn't know anyone who was like me. All I knew was that while other girls were having crushes on boys, I was having crushes on girls and forcing myself to go out with boys to seem "normal".

I imagine your friend felt very conflicted about your relationship. However, it being long distance probably felt safe for her, she could use it as an excuse not to date boys/men in her locality and got her family off of her back too. And that was using you, a not very honorable thing. I did the same thing and I didn't feel very good about myself, but didn't have the knowledge or courage to live my truth until after my daughter was born. Then and only then could I be myself, come out and set a good example for my daughter. I think the tipping point came when I was dating this military guy and my mom was very encouraging that I marry him and I just couldn't do it, just didn't see myself in that situation.

One thing, if you had known a long time ago that she didn't love you, you could have been emotionally freed a lot sooner to move on to find someone to love. I hope you have done so and are happy.

I'll be honest, it took me a long, long time to get over that. I even went to our resident shrink for a little while. All I could feel was betrayal and anger and heartbreak. I could feel homophobia creeping in.

But, I was able to fight it off and the both of us are still very close friends. I'm still fighting the cynicism that brought, but I'm sure I'll beat it.

[RichmondRedskin88]

Disrespectful.[COLOR="Gold"]

aw come on I couldn't have alittle fun with this thread?

[MassSkinsFan]

A day late, but this seems appropriate to put here:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/...8d13_blog.html

Living in a state with gay marriage, I have to say I'm a fan. I hope more states adopt the practice.

As for coming out, I know several people who I knew before and after, and they're all much happier people for having done it. So, happy belated National Coming Out Day!

[Predicto]

In my neighborhood, someone just down the block just came out.






And announced he was actually straight. The neighbors were shocked, but they quickly accepted him despite his deviancy.

[thebluefood]

In my neighborhood, someone just down the block just came out.






And announced he was actually straight. The neighbors were shocked, but they quickly accepted him despite his deviancy.

Oh, San Francisco. You so craaaaaaaaazy.

[zoony]

In my neighborhood, someone just down the block just came out.






And announced he was actually straight. The neighbors were shocked, but they quickly accepted him despite his deviancy.

So it wasn't genetic?