Do you define yourself through awards, failures, attempts... the attitude and reactions of others? Is it a list of accomplishments? Are you built on a foundation of the past or tied down by it? Do you not have a sense of self and are mostly reactive relying on pattern and habit?
How do you know who you are?
---------- Post added November-18th-2012 at 09:29 AM ----------
I think we wear any number of labels. Some don't fit, but our legacies from our gawky youth. I'm not the shy geek I was in some ways from my school years. From the other side of the spectrum winning second place in an art contest against adults still carries weight in my mind or being chosen to be a part of the best of shows on WAMU or a few other things. They help instill a certain confidence.
I think we're definitely an amalgation of scars and victories, attempts and retreats... be that in a material, spirtual, social, intellectual or other arena. I do know that I've often feel ill fit into many of the worlds I'm thrust into... for example, why in the world is this painter, playwright hosting a science and technology show? What gives me the right to talk to people so much more accomplished and learned in their fields?
That's the value of recognition I think I can convince or delude myself that this curious kid can explore, conjecture, and try to navigate deeper waters. It also helps me to forgive my failures.
Humans are social animals and so we require to a degree pack strength, recognition, and honor. I think that's where awards fit into our mental landscape. We want acceptance. We want love. It shouldn't be defined by the outside, but to a degree it is.
I think this is what some truly missed by the "You didn't build that" argument. Yes, I am responsible for my sweat, ingenuity, and results, but nothing could have been done without the help, support, and foundation provided by others. We're all integrated.
Not sure if I completely believe what I just wrote, but I mostly do.