Venting from Afghanistan...

[CAPT_CHAOS47]

So i have been in Afghanistan since Feb. Since i have been here i have only talked to my two boys 5 and 4 twice. My ex wife is a complete piece of ****!! We had our problems and got the divorce but she is using my kids as a tool to hurt me. Knowing my only means of making it here are my kids. I am currently at a all time low. I have not heard the sound of my kids voices in 5 months. No letters, skype calls or anything. I currently pay all child support on time ( it is coming straight out of my check)... The court system is a joke and making me to be a bad guy because i am overseas. I only made it through Iraq is because i had daily calls with my kids and to hear them say they love me... Sorry for talking about this but i am not sure how much i can handle without my kids.. I am truly hurting....

[skinsfan_1215]

First thank you for your service. Very sorry for what you're going through with the ex. How old are your kids now? And do you know when you're supposed to be coming home? I figure it's gotta be relatively soon right?

[Bubble Screen]

So i have been in Afghanistan since Feb. Since i have been here i have only talked to my two boys 5 and 4 twice. My ex wife is a complete piece of ****!! We had our problems and got the divorce but she is using my kids as a tool to hurt me. Knowing my only means of making it here are my kids. I am currently at a all time low. I have not heard the sound of my kids voices in 5 months. No letters, skype calls or anything. I currently pay all child support on time ( it is coming straight out of my check)... The court system is a joke and making me to be a bad guy because i am overseas. I only made it through Iraq is because i had daily calls with my kids and to hear them say they love me... Sorry for talking about this but i am not sure how much i can handle without my kids.. I am truly hurting....

I echo what the other poster said: first and foremost, thank you for your service. I can't imagine the pain and suffering you're going through. Just know that you're not the bad guy in this.

I don't understand how she can use your kids against you like this. Why is she not letting you talk to them?

[CAPT_CHAOS47]

I echo what the other poster said: first and foremost, thank you for your service. I can't imagine the pain and suffering you're going through. Just know that you're not the bad guy in this.

I don't understand how she can use your kids against you like this. Why is she not letting you talk to them?

When i was in Iraq she was caught banging a co worker and i filed for the divorce on grounds of adultry and she told me that it will make her look bad in the eyes of her church community..I told her to **** off and she says if i do it, she will hurt me... My kids are the only way to get to me...

[Bang]

Sorry to hear, Captain. There's nothing lower.

if it helps, i was a kid who's mom used like that. But your kids still need you, and that won't change because of her.
That can only change because of you, keep that in mind.

For now, keep your head on your mission so you can keep your head on your shoulders.
No matter what your ex does, your kids need you coming home safe, so use that as motivation if need be.
thanks for what you're doing, and it really sucks you're being put through this.
First things first. Finish your tour safely and when you're back and out of harm's way, you'll have opportunities to handle this.

~Bang

[Burgold]

That sucks. Know that truth wins out and kids are much smarter than people realize. They understand your love.

[mjah]

Thank you for your service.

I have known a couple of families in situations similar to yours over the years. Invariably, it turned out that the kids knew what was really up: Mommy was mad and said mean, strange things about Daddy when he wasn't there. If anything, the kids were all the happier to see Daddy once he was back home -- because Mommy was angry all the time and said things that didn't match up with the Daddy they knew.

Is your ex still active in her church community? Maybe a couple of church leaders should get email messages requesting that they speak with her about her refusal to let the kids talk with their father. What is she going to do then? Let the kids talk to you less than the current level of "never?"

[mboyd784]

Stuff like this happens to a lot of guys, soldier and civilian. It's a bumpy road but you'll make it through in good shape and the kids will too. Keep yourself safe!

Hail.

[alexey]

Hang in there man . Just remember that this is a phase that will end, you will see your kids more, you will see them grow, you will feel the immense pleasure of watching them making it through life and succeeding.

It seems Ike a good advice to work through the Church community.

[CAPT_CHAOS47]

Thanks for the feedback... I have been through a lot in my time and what she has done to me by using my kids has broken me....I just pray i can hold it together during my last few months.....

[twa]

Hang in there, it can and will get better

[CoolHandLuke]

Hey brother thanks for your service! I can't imagine what you're going through right now, but remember that regardless of what your ex says to your kids, they can't wait to see you when your back. I hope you make it through your tour in that piss hole safe & sound. And don't forget, you always have your ES family behind your back!
I can't thank you enough for what you're doing. Cheers!

[Fight for ole DC]

Your kids will ALWAYS need their Daddy. Hang in there and remember that kids have a way of knowing that their Daddy loves them no matter what anyone else says. Stay strong and do what good Daddy's do and when your kids get older they will love you even more for it.

Thank you for your service and stay safe.

[Chump Bailey]

See if you can reach out to a family member or friend that can act as a mediator of sorts to help throttle things down a bit. Anger and emotion make for poor decision making as I'm sure you're aware. Don't escalate things. Talk to a pastor too over there if possible if only for advice.

[Special K]

So i have been in Afghanistan since Feb. Since i have been here i have only talked to my two boys 5 and 4 twice. My ex wife is a complete piece of ****!! We had our problems and got the divorce but she is using my kids as a tool to hurt me. Knowing my only means of making it here are my kids. I am currently at a all time low. I have not heard the sound of my kids voices in 5 months. No letters, skype calls or anything. I currently pay all child support on time ( it is coming straight out of my check)... The court system is a joke and making me to be a bad guy because i am overseas. I only made it through Iraq is because i had daily calls with my kids and to hear them say they love me... Sorry for talking about this but i am not sure how much i can handle without my kids.. I am truly hurting....

I am so sorry you are having to deal with this, I can't even imagine what you are going through.

I really hope this situation turns around for you and your ex-wife and you will be able to talk to your children soon

Thank you very much for your service...and I sincerely mean that. I hope your service over in Afghanistan goes by as quickly as possible so that you are able to get back home and to see your children. Take care...and I hope you are able to speak with your children soon

---------- Post added December-2nd-2012 at 10:16 AM ----------

When i was in Iraq she was caught banging a co worker and i filed for the divorce on grounds of adultry and she told me that it will make her look bad in the eyes of her church community..I told her to **** off and she says if i do it, she will hurt me... My kids are the only way to get to me...

I agree with the other posters in here who have encouraged you to talk to a pastor. I've known that in my life, when things were the roughest and I didn't see a light at the end of the tunnel, belief in God was the only thing that got me through. If you're not religious, maybe you could talk to a counselor or someone who can help you.

All the best