Mock Pope Draft, Redux

[Patrick86L]

A natural chanter with the ability to preach sideline-to-sideline.

This line made me really . well done.

[MLSKINS]

I was looking for somewhere to post this...

From Kayfabe News

Professional wrestler “Pope” D’Angelo Dinero spent this morning updating his resume in hopes of applying for the recently vacated job as leader of the Catholic church.

“I love wrestling, but I’ve always wanted to be the Bishop of Rome and figurehead of Catholics worldwide,” said Dinero, who recently stepped away from TNA Wrestling in order to pursue more pious ambitions.

Dinero announced his intention to “run for the papacy” after the surprise announcement that Pope Benedict would resign from his post due to worsening health.

A veteran of World Wrestling Entertainment and TNA Wrestling, Dinero has been performing on the indy circuit lately, while also pursuing his PhD in Divinity via correspondence from DeVry.

Dinero is confident he will be the first “Black Pope,” which is why he chose @DaBlackPope as his Twitter handle several years ago.

“Mark my words: the Vatican will be my new home soon,” he tweeted.

In response, Dinero’s close friend Brother Devon tweeted: “Testify”

[Tulane Skins Fan]

I should probably know this, but are the people in the OP actually the real frontrunners?

[E-Dog Night]

I heard that Cardinal Bagnasco juices. His sacramental wine tested postive for HGH. "Body of Christ" my ass.

Actually, that's the Blood of Christ, and man, everyone knows they're all doping. Does that make it ok for him to juice? Of course not. Just pointing it out.

I should probably know this, but are the people in the OP actually the real frontrunners?

Yes.

[Dan T.]

Clearly Mike Martz
http://img.spokeo.com/public/900-600...2006_09_24.jpg

~Bang

Even better. Well done.

[DC9]

This might be the greatest post in the history of this board.

I agree. I've just called all of my Uncles to check this out. Hilarious.

[DCranon21]

This is why I love the tailgate. Threads like this makes the day go faster.

Question, where is the African Cardinal in the Mock? He didn't crack the top five?

[Predicto]

This is why I love the tailgate. Threads like this makes the day go faster.

Question, where is the African Cardinal in the Mock? He didn't crack the top five?

No Rooney Rule.

[MLSKINS]

No Rooney Rule.

HIYO!!!

[mistertim]

Man, Italy is the Alabama of pope-ing. Three out of the five potential 1st overall picks.

Italy has a top notch pope recruitment system in place. You get what you pay for.


...That OP had me absolutely cracking up. I actually had to get up and close the door to my office before people started checking to see if I was ok.

[MattFancy]

Cardinal Marc Ouellet seems to have the prototypical size. My only concern is will he be a good fit in the system or will the coaching staff have to make adjustments to fit his strengths?

[iheartskins]

E-Dog -- I'm a little disappointed that I logged into ES for the first time in 5 years solely for the purposes of bumping your old thread only to find that you've already created a new one. Crestfallen. Just absolutely crestfallen.

[dfitzo53]

E-Dog -- I'm a little disappointed that I logged into ES for the first time in 5 years solely for the purposes of bumping your old thread only to find that you've already created a new one. Crestfallen. Just absolutely crestfallen.

When I saw your name I was like, wow, what a blast from the past! Hope everything is well with you and yours.

More to the point of the thread, nice work E-Dog. It was a fun read the first time, and the second didn't disappoint.

[youngchew]

I wish Nike would release the pope's shoes. call 'em "Air Jesus." Dude walks around with a pair of ruby red slippers. SWAG SWAG SWAG.

[elkabong82]

Sandri kind of looks like the Colonel from Boogie Nights, but I hope that is as far as the similarities go

Personally I think it's long past due that Father Dowling gets the nod